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Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas

"David?" "Hmm?" "Don't eat the kids' lunch."And then she walks away

"David?" "Hmm?" "Don't eat the kids' lunch."
And then she walks away

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.368
"David?"
00:00:02.435 --> 00:00:03.469
"Hmm?"
00:00:05.971 --> 00:00:08.774
"Don't eat the kids' lunch." And then she walks away.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
40
Timestamp in Movie
00:50:34
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Dave Chappelle gives his stand about racially charged run-ins, celebrity scandals and fatherly dilemmas in his stand-up set at Austin's Moody Theater.
Well, the crazy shit is, I don't even eat their lunch anymore. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
Well, the crazy shit is, I don't even eat their lunch a...
Back in the day, I used to eat that shit. You know how that goes. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
Back in the day, I used to eat that shit. You know how that ...
Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
Now I might smoke some weed in the middle of the night,
What's the big deal? Why can't she just make another one in the morning? - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
What's the big deal? Why can't she just make anoth...
My kids will be at school the next day like, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:12
My kids will be at school the next day like,
She's mad at me now 'cause I got myself in trouble. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
She's mad at me now 'cause I got myself in trouble...
I got myself extorted, which happens in this business. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:06
I got myself extorted, which happens in this business.
There was a FedEx sitting on the kitchen table, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
There was a FedEx sitting on the kitchen table,
And there was a videocassette inside with a note written on it - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:10
And there was a videocassette inside with a note written on ...
I tore the whole house apart, trying to find a VCR. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
I tore the whole house apart, trying to find a VCR.
It was a tape of me-- I was fucking a girl, okay? - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:06
It was a tape of me-- I was fucking a girl, okay?
But it was from before I was married. But it was not a good look. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
But it was from before I was married. But it was not a good ...
And I felt sick to my stomach, and I looked up at the clock, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:10
And I felt sick to my stomach, and I looked up at the clock,
I jerked off to the tape real fast, and then-- - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:06
I jerked off to the tape real fast, and then--
They didn't say they were gonna catch 'em for sure, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:08
They didn't say they were gonna catch 'em for sure...
And then, not even a week later, five days later, I come home, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:07
And then, not even a week later, five days later, I come hom...
You should probably look for a guy with bell-bottoms on, - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:08
You should probably look for a guy with bell-bottoms on,
And that second tape was the worst shit I'd ever seen in my life. It was awful. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:06
And that second tape was the worst shit I'd ever seen i...
Career-ending bad. It was a tape of me... - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:06
Career-ending bad. It was a tape of me...
I don't even know how they'd even get such a thing. - Dave Chappelle: Deep in the Heart of Texas 00:05
I don't even know how they'd even get such a thing...