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No American should have to present a birth certificate
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Dave Chappelle: The Closer

No American should haveto present a birth certificate to take a shit at Walmart,in...

No American should have
to present a birth certificate to take a shit at Walmart,
in Greensboro, North Carolina where DaBaby shot and killed
a motherfucker

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.067
No American should have to present a birth certificate
00:00:04.754 --> 00:00:08.997
to take a shit at Walmart, in Greensboro, North Carolina
00:00:08.009 --> 00:00:10.259
where DaBaby shot and killed a motherfucker.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
43
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:03
Uploaded
May 20, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Stan Lathan TV

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Movie Summary

As he closes out his slate of comedy specials, Dave takes the stage to try and set the record straight; and get a few things off his chest.
You have to ask yourself, if you're thinking about it, - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:06
You have to ask yourself, if you're thinking about it,
Like let's say they designed this law to protect me, - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:08
Like let's say they designed this law to protect me,
Let's say I'm in Walmart, doing a little shopping with my family. - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:06
Let's say I'm in Walmart, doing a little shopping ...
Now I should tell you - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:09
Now I should tell you
[laughter] - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:13
[laughter]
And suddenly a woman - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
And suddenly a woman
And then she stands shoulder to shoulder - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:15
And then she stands shoulder to shoulder
[laughter] - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
[laughter]
I would feel better if it was a man with a vagina - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:09
I would feel better if it was a man with a vagina
I wouldn't even think about that, I'd just be like, "That's funny." - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:09
I wouldn't even think about that, I'd just be like...
"Oh my God, he must be a Veteran, thank you for your service." - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:04
"Oh my God, he must be a Veteran, thank you for your se...
I'm not indifferent to people's suffering 'cause I know it's hard to be everybody. - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
I'm not indifferent to people's suffering 'ca...
We Blacks, we just got our first big holiday in a long time. - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:04
We Blacks, we just got our first big holiday in a long time.
-[audience] Yes. -It commemorates - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:08
-[audience] Yes. -It commemorates
But remember, they were free when they found out. - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
But remember, they were free when they found out.
You know, I learned something - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
You know, I learned something
And it's that there was a Black man who was in South Carolina - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:10
And it's that there was a Black man who was in South Ca...
And when his master granted him the freedom - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
And when his master granted him the freedom
And he farmed this plot of land very successfully - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:08
And he farmed this plot of land very successfully
[laughter] - Dave Chappelle: The Closer 00:05
[laughter]