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All right, if he starts popping off
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David Cross: Oh Come On

All right,if he starts popping off, okay, um, all right,what I gonna-- Oh, I know what...

All right,
if he starts popping off, okay, um, all right,
what I gonna-- Oh, I know what I'll do.
I'll jump up and I'll grab the pole
and I'll pull myself up and I'll come down with the heel
of my boot onto his head, and then I'll come down
and I'll get him with the fucking elbow
right to his eyeball socket and then I'll go down
and I'll shove my palm into his nose and his nose
will splinter into his brain." You know, I'm not talking
about that, you know, Bas Rutten self-defense
type of shit. Um

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.176
All right, if he starts popping off,
00:00:03.263 --> 00:00:05.352
okay, um, all right, what I gonna--
00:00:05.439 --> 00:00:06.962
Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll jump up
00:00:07.049 --> 00:00:08.964
and I'll grab the pole and I'll pull myself up
00:00:09.051 --> 00:00:12.054
and I'll come down with the heel of my boot onto his head,
00:00:12.141 --> 00:00:13.839
and then I'll come down and I'll get him
00:00:13.926 --> 00:00:16.045
with the fucking elbow right to his eyeball socket
00:00:16.537 --> 00:00:18.408
and then I'll go down and I'll shove my palm
00:00:18.495 --> 00:00:21.542
into his nose and his nose will splinter into his brain."
00:00:21.629 --> 00:00:24.545
You know, I'm not talking about that, you know,
00:00:24.632 --> 00:00:28.081
Bas Rutten self-defense type of shit. Um...
Duration
29 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
01:04:12
Uploaded
Jun 16, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Dynamics,Field Recordings Filmproduktion

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Movie Summary

Share the laughter, the tears, the gasps, and the salty language that you've come to know and love. Stare into the abyss one more time until the next time and see what makes David Cross one of the top 400 comics in America today.
So roughly four years ago, my wife and I were upstate - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:08
So roughly four years ago, my wife and I were upstate
My wife had taken a shower. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
My wife had taken a shower.
And we have a steam shower, so she had opened up the windows - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:08
And we have a steam shower, so she had opened up the windows
So she had opened that to let the steam out - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:11
So she had opened that to let the steam out
And 20 minutes later, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:09
And 20 minutes later,
It's dark out, just one... one light behind me. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:07
It's dark out, just one... one light behind me.
And I'm naked, which is how I like to shower now. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
And I'm naked, which is how I like to shower now.
-[cheering] -Uh... - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
-[cheering] -Uh...
And I open the door, it's a small bathroom, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:08
And I open the door, it's a small bathroom,
And when I tell you all the things I'm about to tell you, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:21
And when I tell you all the things I'm about to tell yo...
And I'm like, "Who's this fucking crazy naked motherfucker - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
And I'm like, "Who's this fucking crazy naked...
What the fuck is going on?" And I'm the line of defense - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:10
What the fuck is going on?" And I'm the line of de...
I'm it. And this fucking crazy motherfucker's coming at me, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:09
I'm it. And this fucking crazy motherfucker's comi...
And this is how I reacted to imminent danger, all right? - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
And this is how I reacted to imminent danger, all right?
This is what I said. This is who I am. I went, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:07
This is what I said. This is who I am. I went,
"Oh, come on?" - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:06
"Oh, come on?"
I don't know what I'm thinking! I don't know what is-- - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
I don't know what I'm thinking! I don't know ...
That's what I'm made of. I don't know, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:06
That's what I'm made of. I don't know,
Like, you know, "Oh, come on. Are you really gonna-- - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
Like, you know, "Oh, come on. Are you really gonna--
The dog won't give you any trouble. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
The dog won't give you any trouble.