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First joke was too soon, second one was too late
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David Cross: Oh Come On

First joke was too soon,second one was too late

First joke was too soon,
second one was too late

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.046
First joke was too soon, second one was too late.
Duration
4 seconds
Views
38
Timestamp in Movie
00:03:29
Uploaded
Jun 16, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Comedy Dynamics,Field Recordings Filmproduktion

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Movie Summary

Share the laughter, the tears, the gasps, and the salty language that you've come to know and love. Stare into the abyss one more time until the next time and see what makes David Cross one of the top 400 comics in America today.
So I think I speak for everyone in this room here tonight - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:09
So I think I speak for everyone in this room here tonight
And it always bothered me. Even before I had a kid, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
And it always bothered me. Even before I had a kid,
Uh, "Yeah, so I had a kid." "Yay!" There's... - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
Uh, "Yeah, so I had a kid." "Yay!" There...
I haven't-- I haven't done anything applause-worthy yet. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
I haven't-- I haven't done anything applause-worth...
You know what I'm saying? I mean, you know, I barely - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:07
You know what I'm saying? I mean, you know, I barely
And if I've produced a decent, kind, ethical, moral, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:16
And if I've produced a decent, kind, ethical, moral,
I mean, she could turn out to be a cunt. You know? - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
I mean, she could turn out to be a cunt. You know?
You know well-intended, well-meaning parents - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:08
You know well-intended, well-meaning parents
Their children are fucking shitty pieces - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
Their children are fucking shitty pieces
And, I mean, obviously my wife and I are, you know, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:07
And, I mean, obviously my wife and I are, you know,
We could put in all the work, and she still ends up - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:09
We could put in all the work, and she still ends up
You can throw as many future feminist onesies on an infant, - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:06
You can throw as many future feminist onesies on an infant,
When I was growing up, my dad had a coffee mug - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:07
When I was growing up, my dad had a coffee mug
And he was a lying asshole piece of shit. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
And he was a lying asshole piece of shit.
He was a piece of shit. So what I'm saying is - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:06
He was a piece of shit. So what I'm saying is
I blame the Chinese, really. Uh... - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
I blame the Chinese, really. Uh...
But, you know, I am a first-time father. - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
But, you know, I am a first-time father.
Longtime listener. And... - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
Longtime listener. And...
And just to allay any fears, I'm... - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:05
And just to allay any fears, I'm...
I'm not gonna do an hour of dad jokes. All right? - David Cross: Oh Come On 00:04
I'm not gonna do an hour of dad jokes. All right?