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David Spade: Nothing Personal

"Hey, Jimmy. We got him." "I got you, boss." "Hey, take care of Mr. Spade." "You get him...

David Spade: Nothing Personal • 2022

"Hey, Jimmy. We got him." "I got you, boss." "Hey, take care of Mr. Spade." "You get him a, uh…
get him some fentanyl crab cakes." "And will you get him… [smacking lips] …some, uh… [clicking tongue] …uh, LSD candy corn." So I go, "No, no.
I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay." He goes, "Well, at least have a gummy
on me as an app--" I go like this… [chewing]
He goes, "Well, don't eat it all." I go… [crowd laughing] "Don't eat all of that thing?" He goes, "Just eat the ear." I go, "Fuck you. It's one inch
of food! Dude, I'm eating it all." [crowd laughing] "I should have the ear? That's this big." He goes, "Oh, you're gonna be
all fucked up." I go, "Well…" "I don't know.
If you give me a cookie, I eat it all." "Don't tell me to, you know,
eat one crumb at a time." "Like, put each one in a baggie." "Like, that's a hit. Like, I get it." I don't like all this shit because I have…
I have vodka soda and two gets me drunk, three is too much, but I can gauge it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.376

"Hey, Jimmy. We got him."

00:00:02.046 --> 00:00:03.836

"I got you, boss."

00:00:03.092 --> 00:00:05.922

"Hey, take care of Mr. Spade."

00:00:06.999 --> 00:00:08.132

"You get him a, uh… get him some fentanyl crab cakes."

00:00:08.215 --> 00:00:10.301

"And will you get him… [smacking lips]

00:00:10.384 --> 00:00:11.469

…some, uh… [clicking tongue]

00:00:11.552 --> 00:00:13.387

…uh, LSD candy corn."

00:00:13.471 --> 00:00:16.999

So I go, "No, no. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay."

00:00:16.182 --> 00:00:19.393

He goes, "Well, at least have a gummy on me as an app--"

00:00:19.477 --> 00:00:22.313

I go like this… [chewing] He goes, "Well, don't eat it all." I go…

00:00:22.396 --> 00:00:24.106

[crowd laughing]

00:00:24.019 --> 00:00:26.015

"Don't eat all of that thing?"

00:00:26.233 --> 00:00:27.526

He goes, "Just eat the ear."

00:00:27.061 --> 00:00:31.053

I go, "Fuck you. It's one inch of food! Dude, I'm eating it all."

00:00:31.614 --> 00:00:32.074

[crowd laughing]

00:00:32.823 --> 00:00:35.326

"I should have the ear? That's this big."

00:00:36.041 --> 00:00:38.663

He goes, "Oh, you're gonna be all fucked up." I go, "Well…"

00:00:39.664 --> 00:00:42.249

"I don't know. If you give me a cookie, I eat it all."

00:00:42.333 --> 00:00:44.835

"Don't tell me to, you know, eat one crumb at a time."

00:00:44.919 --> 00:00:46.545

"Like, put each one in a baggie."

00:00:46.629 --> 00:00:48.714

"Like, that's a hit. Like, I get it."

00:00:49.507 --> 00:00:53.636

I don't like all this shit because I have… I have vodka soda and two gets me drunk,

00:00:53.719 --> 00:00:55.596

three is too much, but I can gauge it.

Duration

57 seconds

Views

40

Timestamp in Movie

00:22:38

Uploaded

Mar 29, 2025

Genres

documentary, comedy

Production

N/A

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Movie Summary

Follows David Spade sharing his disdain for crabs and his unique approach to turning down drugs. Spade is going to prove that no topic is off limits.