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Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid quotes

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid poster
Film noir parody with a detective uncovering a sinister plot. Characters from real noirs appear as scenes from various films are intercut.

Director: Carl Reiner
Writer: Carl Reiner, George Gipe, Steve Martin
Production: Universal Pictures
Year: 1981
MetaScore: 67/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 21 May 1982
Awards: N/A

49 Clips & Quotes

You know how to dial - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:24 You know how to dial But what does  FOC  mean - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:31 But what does FOC mean What's he paying you boys - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:22 What's he paying you boys We know who you are - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:05 We know who you are My name's Reardon - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 02:10 My name's Reardon All dames are alike - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:17 All dames are alike If you want me to investigate your father's death - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:57 If you want me to investigate your father's death You could be zat - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:33 You could be zat The words  I can't  weren't in her vocabulary - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:42 The words I can't weren't in her vocabulary Don't go near my daughter again - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:32 Don't go near my daughter again Get your sister Leona for me - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:50 Get your sister Leona for me Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T R U B I L - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:27 Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T R U... It is customary in zese situations for ze developer of ze plan to describe it - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 03:01 It is customary in zese situations for ze developer of ze... I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me over fifteen years ago - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:43 I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me over fifteen... Are you wearing pajamas - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:12 Are you wearing pajamas The guard looks suspicious - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:24 The guard looks suspicious Column six of the August 2nd issue - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:46 Column six of the August 2nd issue Let's go out dancing - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:22 Let's go out dancing Be careful of the - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:31 Be careful of the Her lips were warm - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:08 Her lips were warm I'll do it myself - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:26 I'll do it myself Who shall I say is calling - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:41 Who shall I say is calling You don't smoke - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:19 You don't smoke When will you be leaving Carlotta - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:35 When will you be leaving Carlotta Adjusting your willie - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:41 Adjusting your willie Sometimes I feel I would like to - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:07 Sometimes I feel I would like to My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:17 My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face This is never going to heal - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:13 This is never going to heal There's a plane with mermans on it - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:19 There's a plane with mermans on it Do I look like a dame - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:15 Do I look like a dame What do you think - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:19 What do you think I never could fool you - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:12 I never could fool you So there it was - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:28 So there it was You got something - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:47 You got something Those dirty bastards - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:24 Those dirty bastards You didn't do what I told ya - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:49 You didn't do what I told ya And I brought you a puppy - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:49 And I brought you a puppy Forrest's cheese lab - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:25 Forrest's cheese lab You wearing a tie - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 You wearing a tie Where are you staying - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 Where are you staying There was only one way to find out - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:44 There was only one way to find out That's one thing I've learned about clients - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:22 That's one thing I've learned about clients I'm working on an important case - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:36 I'm working on an important case The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench in the machine shop - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:00 The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench... Put this on for me - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 Put this on for me Neff's favorite hunting ground was Jerry's Market on Melrose - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 01:13 Neff's favorite hunting ground was Jerry's Market on Melrose Haven't I seen you somewhere before - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:20 Haven't I seen you somewhere before You have to enjoy killing things - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:22 You have to enjoy killing things And here's something for you - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:21 And here's something for you

Cast

Rigby Reardon - Steve Martin
Juliet Forrest - Rachel Ward
The Exterminator - Alan Ladd
Field Marshall VonKluck - Carl Reiner
Leona Hastings-Forrest - Barbara Stanwyck
Sam Hastings (in 'Lost Weekend') (archive footage) - Ray Milland
Kitty Collins (archive footage) - Ava Gardner
Swede Anderson (archive footage) - Burt Lancaster
Phillip Marlowe - Humphrey Bogart
'Handsome' (in 'Suspicion') - Cary Grant
F.X. Huberman (archive footage) - Ingrid Bergman
Monica Stillpond - Veronica Lake
Doris Davermont (archive footage) - Bette Davis
Jimmi-Sue Altfeld - Lana Turner
Altfeld - Edward Arnold
Thug Boss (archive footage) - Kirk Douglas
Walter Neff (archive footage) - Fred MacMurray
Captain Cody Jarrett - James Cagney
Margaret (archive footage) - Joan Crawford
Carlos Rodriguez - Reni Santoni
The Fat One Who Sweats a Lot - Charles Laughton
Rice (archive footage) - Vincent Price
Dr. Forrest - George Gaynes
Waiter (as Frank McCarthy) - Francis X. McCarthy
Mildred - Adrian Ricard
Hood (as Charles Picerni) - Charlie Picerni
Hood (as Gene Labell) - Gene LeBell
Puppy Secretary - Britt Nilsson
Duty Secretary - Jean Beaudine
German Henchman (as John 'Easton' Stuart) - John Easton Stuart
German Henchman - Ronald Spivey
German Henchman - Bob Hevelone
German Henchman - Dieter Curt
German Henchman (as Phil Kearns) - Phillip Kearns
German Henchman - Kent Deigaard
German Henchman - Eugene Brezany
German Henchman - Brad Baird
(in "The Killers") (archive footage) - William Conrad
in The Killers (archive footage) - Charles McGraw
(in "The Killers") (archive footage) - Jeff Corey
(in "The Killers") (archive footage) - John Miljan
(in "The Glass Key") (archive footage) - Brian Donlevy
(in "The Glass Key") (archive footage) - Norma Varden
Hank Fallon aka Vic Pardo (archive footage) - Edmond O'Brien
(archive footage) - Wally Brown
Prisoner - David LeBell
Veronica Lake - Cheryl Smith