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"Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" quotes

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid poster
Film noir parody with a detective uncovering a sinister plot. Characters from real noirs appear as scenes from various films are intercut.

Director: Carl Reiner
Writer: Carl Reiner, George Gipe, Steve Martin
Production: Universal Pictures
Genre: comedy, crime, mystery
Year: 1981
MetaScore: 67/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 21 May 1982
Awards: N/A

53 video clips

Rigby ReardonJuliet ForrestJuliette Forrest(in "the Killers" / "the Bribe") (archive Footage)Rigby ReardonJuliet ForrestJuliette ForrestField Marshal Von KluckField Marshall Von KluckCaptain JarrettKitty Collins (archive Footage)Philip MarlowePuppy SecretaryDuty Secretary
If you need me just call - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:15 If you need me just call What's he payin' you boys I'll double it and we'll beat the shit outta him - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:06 What's he payin' you boys I'll double it and... But what does FOC mean - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:12 But what does FOC mean We know who you are Mr Rigby - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:36 We know who you are Mr Rigby All dames are alike - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:30 All dames are alike Mrs Hastings My name's Reardon Sorry to hear your father's passed on - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:33 Mrs Hastings My name's Reardon Sorry to hear your... One thing about Monica The words I can't weren't in her vocabulary - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:16 One thing about Monica The words I can't weren't... Don't go near my daughter Don't try to see her Don't write and don't phone - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:10 Don't go near my daughter Don't try to see her... If you want me to investigate your father's death I get 10 a day - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:22 If you want me to investigate your father's death I get... When I arrived I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me 15 years ago - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:19 When I arrived I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me... Get your sister Leona for me - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:25 Get your sister Leona for me Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble t r u b i l - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:09 Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble t r u... It is customary in these situations for the developer of the plan to describe it - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:37 It is customary in these situations for the developer of the... Would I be your Reinemachefrau - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:20 Would I be your Reinemachefrau Are you wearing pyjamas Se or I'll help you take them off - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:36 Are you wearing pyjamas Se or I'll help you take them... Her lips were warm and my arm wasn't the only thing that was throbbing - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:28 Her lips were warm and my arm wasn't the only thing... Hi It's me Rigby - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:22 Hi It's me Rigby Come on Let's go out dancin' - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:09 Come on Let's go out dancin' Be careful of the uh fat one who sweats a lot - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:14 Be careful of the uh fat one who sweats a lot The guard looks suspicious Act like I'm your ma - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:26 The guard looks suspicious Act like I'm your ma Cowards Fools - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:35 Cowards Fools Yes I'd like to see Miss Forrest - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:33 Yes I'd like to see Miss Forrest I don't blame you for strangling me - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 I don't blame you for strangling me Se or Reardon when will you be leaving Carlotta - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:26 Se or Reardon when will you be leaving Carlotta What are you doing - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:21 What are you doing Sometimes I feel I would like to - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:30 Sometimes I feel I would like to My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:05 My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face This is never gonna heal - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:05 This is never gonna heal What do you know about a plane with Germermans on it - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:34 What do you know about a plane with Germermans on it Do I look like a dame Not as much as I do - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:05 Do I look like a dame Not as much as I do What do you think - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:06 What do you think Juliet This is Alan - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 Juliet This is Alan Or was she a member of the Carlotta conspiracy and had set me up - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:33 Or was she a member of the Carlotta conspiracy and had set... Can you get a map of South America - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:33 Can you get a map of South America Juliet - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:13 Juliet Hello Marlowe - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:28 Hello Marlowe And I brought you a puppy something you never had as a boy - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:33 And I brought you a puppy something you never had as a boy I had no trouble finding Dr Forrest's cheese lab - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:07 I had no trouble finding Dr Forrest's cheese lab You wearin' a tie Goodbye - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:04 You wearin' a tie Goodbye Where are you staying Hotel Guano - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:05 Where are you staying Hotel Guano Was she real There was only one way to find out - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:34 Was she real There was only one way to find out That's one thing I've learned about clients Dead ones don't pay their bills - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:07 That's one thing I've learned about clients Dead... I'm working on an important case It's dangerous and you'll probably be killed - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:17 I'm working on an important case It's dangerous... The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench in the machine shop - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:18 The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench... And Marlowe Put this on for me huh As a favour - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:08 And Marlowe Put this on for me huh As a favour Neff's favourite hunting ground was Jerry's Market on Melrose - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:29 Neff's favourite hunting ground was Jerry's Market... How about you handsome Haven't I seen you somewhere before - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:09 How about you handsome Haven't I seen you somewhere... Guess to be a really good exterminator you have to enjoy killing things - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:06 Guess to be a really good exterminator you have to enjoy... You want a puppy I'd love a dog - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 You want a puppy I'd love a dog I hadn't seen a body like that - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:11 I hadn't seen a body like that What are you talking about - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:04 What are you talking about When these people leave maybe you and I can have a party of our own - Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid 00:07 When these people leave maybe you and I can have a party of...

Cast

Rigby Reardon - Steve Martin
Juliet Forrest - Rachel Ward
The Exterminator - Alan Ladd
Field Marshall VonKluck - Carl Reiner
Leona Hastings-Forrest - Barbara Stanwyck
All Cast