"Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid" quotes
Film noir parody with a detective uncovering a sinister plot. Characters from real noirs appear as scenes from various films are intercut.
Director: Carl Reiner
Writer: Carl Reiner, George Gipe, Steve Martin
Released: 21 May 1982
00:11You want a puppy I'd love a dog
00:07When these people leave maybe you and I can have a party of...
00:06Guess to be a really good exterminator you have to enjoy...
00:04What are you talking about
00:09How about you handsome Haven't I seen you somewhere before
00:29Neff's favourite hunting ground was Jerry's Market on...
00:08And Marlowe Put this on for me huh As a favour
00:18The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench...
00:17I'm working on an important case It's dangerous and you'll...
00:07That's one thing I've learned about clients Dead ones don't...
00:34Was she real There was only one way to find out
00:05Where are you staying Hotel Guano
00:04You wearin' a tie Goodbye
00:07I had no trouble finding Dr Forrest's cheese lab
00:33And I brought you a puppy something you never had as a boy
00:33Can you get a map of South America
00:33Or was she a member of the Carlotta conspiracy and had set...
00:11Juliet This is Alan
00:06What do you think
00:05Do I look like a dame Not as much as I do
00:34What do you know about a plane with Germermans on it
00:05This is never gonna heal
00:05My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face
00:30Sometimes I feel I would like to
00:21What are you doing
00:26Se or Reardon when will you be leaving Carlotta
00:11I don't blame you for strangling me
00:33Yes I'd like to see Miss Forrest
00:26The guard looks suspicious Act like I'm your ma
00:14Be careful of the uh fat one who sweats a lot
00:09Come on Let's go out dancin'
00:22Hi It's me Rigby
00:28Her lips were warm and my arm wasn't the only thing that was...
00:36Are you wearing pyjamas Se or I'll help you take them off
00:20Would I be your Reinemachefrau
00:37It is customary in these situations for the developer of the...
00:09Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble t r u...
00:25Get your sister Leona for me
00:19When I arrived I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me...
00:22If you want me to investigate your father's death I get 10 a...
00:10Don't go near my daughter Don't try to see her Don't write...
00:16One thing about Monica The words I can't weren't in her...
00:33Mrs Hastings My name's Reardon Sorry to hear your father's...
00:30All dames are alike
00:36We know who you are Mr Rigby
00:12But what does FOC mean
00:06What's he payin' you boys I'll double it and we'll beat the...
00:15If you need me just call
00:08I hadn't seen a body like that
03:01It is customary in zese situations for ze developer of ze...
00:19You don't smoke
00:36I'm working on an important case
00:26I'll do it myself
00:57If you want me to investigate your father's death
00:43I thought of the words Marlowe had said to me over fifteen...
00:12I never could fool you
00:11You wearing a tie
00:24You know how to dial
01:08Her lips were warm
00:20Haven't I seen you somewhere before
00:50Get your sister Leona for me
00:25Forrest's cheese lab
00:32Don't go near my daughter again
00:15Do I look like a dame
00:46Column six of the August 2nd issue
00:27Carlotta was the kind of town where they spell trouble T R U...
00:31But what does FOC mean
00:31Be careful of the
00:49And I brought you a puppy
00:21And here's something for you
01:17All dames are alike
00:41Adjusting your willie
00:22You have to enjoy killing things
00:47You got something
00:49You didn't do what I told ya
00:33You could be zat
01:12Are you wearing pajamas
00:41Who shall I say is calling
00:11Where are you staying
00:35When will you be leaving Carlotta
00:22What's he paying you boys
00:19What do you think
01:05We know who you are
00:24Those dirty bastards
00:13This is never going to heal
01:19There's a plane with mermans on it
00:44There was only one way to find out
00:42The words I can't weren't in her vocabulary
01:00The paper said you were hit in the head by a flying wrench...
00:24The guard looks suspicious
00:22That's one thing I've learned about clients
01:07Sometimes I feel I would like to
01:28So there it was
00:11Put this on for me
01:13Neff's favorite hunting ground was Jerry's Market on Melrose
00:17My plan was to kiss her with every lip on my face
02:10My name's Reardon
00:22Let's go out dancing