Deadpool quotes

Deadpool poster
A wisecracking mercenary gets experimented on and becomes immortal but ugly, and sets out to track down the man who ruined his looks.

Director: Tim Miller
Writer: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick
Production: N/A
Year: 2016
MetaScore: 65/100
ImdbRating: 8.0
BoxOffice: $363,070,709
Released: 12 Feb 2016
Awards: 28 wins & 78 nominations


151 Clips & Quotes

I give you - Deadpool 00:46 I give you But it rhymes with  Polverine - Deadpool 00:52 But it rhymes with Polverine I had another Liam Neeson nightmare - Deadpool 00:43 I had another Liam Neeson nightmare What the shit - Deadpool 00:27 What the shit I get why you're so pissy - Deadpool 01:56 I get why you're so pissy Is that you - Deadpool 01:27 Is that you From Alien 3 - Deadpool 00:21 From Alien 3 McAvoy or Stewart - Deadpool 00:27 McAvoy or Stewart All dinosaurs feared the T Rex - Deadpool 00:15 All dinosaurs feared the T Rex You're probably thinking - Deadpool 01:22 You're probably thinking Time to make the chimi fuckin' changas - Deadpool 00:21 Time to make the chimi fuckin' changas You're about to be killed by a zamboni - Deadpool 00:33 You're about to be killed by a zamboni The day I decide to become a crime fighting shit swizzler - Deadpool 00:55 The day I decide to become a crime fighting shit swizzler You're a lovely lady - Deadpool 00:45 You're a lovely lady A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break - Deadpool 00:18 A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break Here's what I'm actually gonna do - Deadpool 01:32 Here's what I'm actually gonna do Do you like what you see - Deadpool 02:09 Do you like what you see Maximum effort - Deadpool 00:10 Maximum effort I'd go with you - Deadpool 00:16 I'd go with you But don't swallow - Deadpool 00:09 But don't swallow Check it out - Deadpool 00:51 Check it out Think of it like spring cleaning - Deadpool 01:14 Think of it like spring cleaning Bad Deadpool - Deadpool 00:12 Bad Deadpool Here's the thing - Deadpool 00:55 Here's the thing Finish fucking her the fuck up - Deadpool 00:08 Finish fucking her the fuck up You may be wondering - Deadpool 00:20 You may be wondering Rich Corinthian leather - Deadpool 00:14 Rich Corinthian leather I'm touching myself tonight - Deadpool 00:16 I'm touching myself tonight Can I come and visit you between the holidays - Deadpool 00:31 Can I come and visit you between the holidays Your poor wife - Deadpool 00:10 Your poor wife What if I told you we can cure your cancer - Deadpool 00:46 What if I told you we can cure your cancer Well I hate to break it to you - Deadpool 00:54 Well I hate to break it to you Have you decided what you're gonna say to her - Deadpool 00:20 Have you decided what you're gonna say to her Why the fancy red suit - Deadpool 00:49 Why the fancy red suit I should've come and found you sooner - Deadpool 00:53 I should've come and found you sooner Did I leave the stove on - Deadpool 00:06 Did I leave the stove on Go be a big brother to someone - Deadpool 00:22 Go be a big brother to someone If I never see you again - Deadpool 00:18 If I never see you again Why such a douche this morning - Deadpool 01:07 Why such a douche this morning Right up Main Street - Deadpool 00:12 Right up Main Street How can I help you - Deadpool 00:21 How can I help you I wouldn't do that if I were you - Deadpool 00:33 I wouldn't do that if I were you Happy Lent - Deadpool 00:12 Happy Lent I'm a teenage girl - Deadpool 00:54 I'm a teenage girl Vanessa's already working on plan's A - Deadpool 00:25 Vanessa's already working on plan's A Have you seen this man - Deadpool 00:15 Have you seen this man You've been warned before - Deadpool 00:43 You've been warned before How's the Kullen coming along - Deadpool 01:14 How's the Kullen coming along You can't buy love - Deadpool 00:20 You can't buy love Look away - Deadpool 00:12 Look away I bet it feels huge in this hand - Deadpool 00:14 I bet it feels huge in this hand We can't allow this - Deadpool 00:53 We can't allow this Are you there God - Deadpool 00:06 Are you there God What is that - Deadpool 00:34 What is that Coming on to our stage right now - Deadpool 00:23 Coming on to our stage right now This my shit - Deadpool 00:47 This my shit There are no words - Deadpool 01:11 There are no words Cue the music - Deadpool 00:10 Cue the music Kinda lonesome back here - Deadpool 00:14 Kinda lonesome back here Captain Deadpool - Deadpool 00:36 Captain Deadpool Nice to see you - Deadpool 00:18 Nice to see you We both know that cancer is a shit show - Deadpool 01:46 We both know that cancer is a shit show You got something in your teeth - Deadpool 00:13 You got something in your teeth Do you have off switch - Deadpool 00:25 Do you have off switch We have everything we need now - Deadpool 00:36 We have everything we need now This is confusing - Deadpool 00:20 This is confusing What's my name - Deadpool 00:10 What's my name Wade Wilson - Deadpool 00:43 Wade Wilson Is Ajax your actual name - Deadpool 01:07 Is Ajax your actual name A heavily armed child - Deadpool 00:43 A heavily armed child Merchandise - Deadpool 02:25 Merchandise Superhero landing - Deadpool 00:31 Superhero landing I presume a crisp high five - Deadpool 00:28 I presume a crisp high five I hear you grow back body parts now - Deadpool 00:21 I hear you grow back body parts now Douche Pool - Deadpool 00:25 Douche Pool I've been traveling to exotic places - Deadpool 00:49 I've been traveling to exotic places Jacksonville - Deadpool 00:42 Jacksonville There's the money shot - Deadpool 00:09 There's the money shot Nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else's - Deadpool 00:52 Nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else's Not out of the woods yet - Deadpool 01:08 Not out of the woods yet That's all right - Deadpool 00:48 That's all right He's tied up in the trunk - Deadpool 01:28 He's tied up in the trunk She's like Robin to my Batman - Deadpool 00:30 She's like Robin to my Batman Love is a beautiful thing - Deadpool 00:56 Love is a beautiful thing 'Cause she knows you - Deadpool 01:56 'Cause she knows you Which ones - Deadpool 00:17 Which ones Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood - Deadpool 00:19 Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood You ate breakfast - Deadpool 00:26 You ate breakfast I give a guy a pavement facial - Deadpool 00:30 I give a guy a pavement facial Welcome to Sister Margaret's - Deadpool 00:53 Welcome to Sister Margaret's I never carry a wallet when I'm working - Deadpool 00:30 I never carry a wallet when I'm working Here we go - Deadpool 01:21 Here we go You're not clowning - Deadpool 00:18 You're not clowning You know the funniest part of this - Deadpool 01:11 You know the funniest part of this What if I just held on and never let go - Deadpool 00:32 What if I just held on and never let go I wish I'd never heard of Craigslist - Deadpool 00:38 I wish I'd never heard of Craigslist And maximum effort - Deadpool 00:24 And maximum effort I'm a bad guy who is paid to fuck up worse guys - Deadpool 00:21 I'm a bad guy who is paid to fuck up worse guys You're lovely - Deadpool 01:05 You're lovely Motherfucker - Deadpool 00:34 Motherfucker They pull down a gaggle of ass - Deadpool 01:02 They pull down a gaggle of ass Don't worry - Deadpool 00:27 Don't worry I'd hit that - Deadpool 00:41 I'd hit that Where's Francis - Deadpool 00:09 Where's Francis Did I say this was a love story - Deadpool 00:09 Did I say this was a love story I told you - Deadpool 00:53 I told you I miss cocaine - Deadpool 00:10 I miss cocaine My old boyfriend - Deadpool 00:44 My old boyfriend Apparently - Deadpool 00:31 Apparently It reeks like old lady pants in here - Deadpool 00:25 It reeks like old lady pants in here Who brought this twinkly man - Deadpool 00:41 Who brought this twinkly man Not often a dude ruins your face - Deadpool 00:33 Not often a dude ruins your face I don't want to - Deadpool 00:15 I don't want to Go get her - Deadpool 00:09 Go get her You little spider monkey - Deadpool 00:13 You little spider monkey I was a patient here once myself - Deadpool 00:52 I was a patient here once myself Am I crazy - Deadpool 00:21 Am I crazy Fucking Wade Wilson - Deadpool 00:27 Fucking Wade Wilson Ever hear of the one legged man in the ass kicking contest - Deadpool 00:13 Ever hear of the one legged man in the ass kicking contest Did you ever see 127 Hours - Deadpool 00:13 Did you ever see 127 Hours You're still here - Deadpool 00:57 You're still here Four or five moments - Deadpool 01:22 Four or five moments Ve been thinking - Deadpool 01:17 Ve been thinking Ladies and gentlemen - Deadpool 00:47 Ladies and gentlemen Negasonic Teenage Warhead - Deadpool 00:24 Negasonic Teenage Warhead You guys going for a bite - Deadpool 01:26 You guys going for a bite She's sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures - Deadpool 00:47 She's sending away for all these colorful clinic brochures I didn't just get the cure to el cancer - Deadpool 00:19 I didn't just get the cure to el cancer That's the shit emoji - Deadpool 00:16 That's the shit emoji Patron saint of the pitiful - Deadpool 00:41 Patron saint of the pitiful Lines up the shot - Deadpool 00:37 Lines up the shot And I hope  you're  watching - Deadpool 00:23 And I hope you're watching I haven't seen you since - Deadpool 00:35 I haven't seen you since I'm proud of you - Deadpool 01:02 I'm proud of you Nothing compares to you - Deadpool 00:55 Nothing compares to you And never let go - Deadpool 01:10 And never let go I'm gonna do this the old fashioned way - Deadpool 00:11 I'm gonna do this the old fashioned way You're not gonna like it - Deadpool 00:18 You're not gonna like it You bet on me to die - Deadpool 00:31 You bet on me to die Careful with that - Deadpool 00:46 Careful with that You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl - Deadpool 00:32 You don't need to be a superhero to get the girl 41 confirmed kills - Deadpool 00:51 41 confirmed kills I'mma fuckin' spell it out for ya - Deadpool 00:13 I'mma fuckin' spell it out for ya I've had my eye on this sucker for a while - Deadpool 00:47 I've had my eye on this sucker for a while I don't know about anyone else - Deadpool 01:00 I don't know about anyone else We're within 500 yards of a school - Deadpool 00:20 We're within 500 yards of a school I've been trying to tell you assholes - Deadpool 00:45 I've been trying to tell you assholes You should thank me - Deadpool 00:32 You should thank me Or is your hand really small - Deadpool 00:22 Or is your hand really small How long can you keep this up - Deadpool 00:07 How long can you keep this up You are beautiful woman - Deadpool 00:11 You are beautiful woman

Cast

Dopinder - Karan Soni
Ajax - Ed Skrein
Warlord - Michael Benyaer
Colossus - Stefan Kapicic
Negasonic Teenage Warhead - Brianna Hildebrand
Jeremy (Pizza Guy) - Style Dayne
Gavin Merchant - Kyle Cassie
Meghan Orlovsky - Taylor Hickson
Teen Girl #1 - Ayzee
Teen Girl #2 - Naika Toussaint
Weasel - T.J. Miller
Vanessa - Morena Baccarin
Arcade Ticket Taker - Justyn Shippelt
Oncologist - Donna Yamamoto
Recruiter - Jed Rees
David Cunningham - Hugh Scott
Angel Dust - Gina Carano
Chinatown Merchant - Cindy Piper
Whisper Girlfriend - Emily Haine
Whisper Boyfriend - Aatash Amir
Pool Hall Goon - Chad Riley
Fight Club Boss - Paul Belsito
Garbage Truck Driver - Darcey Johnson
Blind Al - Leslie Uggams
Super Soldier #1 - Kyle Rideout
Super Soldier #2 (as Jason Day) - Jason William Day
Strip Club DJ - Stan Lee
No5 Orange Manager - Ben Wilkinson
Strip Club Worker (as Rachel Shaw) - Rachel Sheen
Flight Deck Guard - Paul Lazenby
Waitress Kelly - Kayla Adams
Hospital Doctor - Brad Archie
Bar Patron - Colleen Bradford
Stripclub Pole Performer - Heather Ashley Chase
Guadalajaran Nurse - Fabiola Colmenero
Stripper - Victoria De Mare
Thug #2 - John Dryden
Guy in Strip Club - Jesse Michael Fullington
Strip Club Spectator - David Hardware
Strip Club Patron - Matthew Hoglie
Fight Club Spectator - Tony Chris Kazoleas
Colossus (Facial Performance) - Greg LaSalle
Liefeld - Rob Liefeld
Elderly Man - David Longworth
Soldier #1 - Michael Neumeyer
Ten Year Old Boy - Sean Quan
Thug #3 - Anthony J Sacco
Biker in strip club - David Santana
Guadalajaran Mother - Olesia Shewchuk
Fight Club Spectator - Bronwyne Sloley
Biker - Dan Zachary