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Hey Hands off the merchandiseMerchandiseSo youbump fuzzies for moneyYepRough childhoodRougher than yoursDaddy left before I was bornDaddy left before I was conceivedEver had a cigarette put out on
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Deadpool

Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. And a low-fat dessert

Vanessa Carlysle:Hey, hands off the merchandise.Wade Wilson:Merchandise? Huh... so you uh, bump fuzzies for money?Vanessa Carlysle:Yep.Wade Wilson:Rough childhood?Vanessa Carlysle:Rougher than yours. Daddy left before I was born.Wade Wilson:Daddy left before I was conceived.Vanessa Carlysle:Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?Wade Wilson:Where else do you put one out?Vanessa Carlysle:I was molested!Wade Wilson:Me too. Uncle.Vanessa Carlysle:Uncles. They took turns.Wade Wilson:I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet, which also happened to be my...Vanessa Carlysle:Your bedroom. Lucky. I slept in a dishwasher box.Wade Wilson: You had a dishwasher. I didn't even know sleep. It was pretty much 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn.Vanessa Carlysle: Who would do such a thing?Wade Wilson:Hopefully you. Later tonight? Hey, what can I get for $275 and uh... a Yogurtlands reward card?Vanessa Carlysle:Baby, about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want. And a low-fat dessert

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.042
Hey Hands off the merchandise
00:00:04.962 --> 00:00:06.012
Merchandise
00:00:06.506 --> 00:00:08.966
So you
00:00:09.991 --> 00:00:10.428
bump fuzzies for money
00:00:10.468 --> 00:00:11.218
Yep
00:00:11.026 --> 00:00:12.051
Rough childhood
00:00:12.553 --> 00:00:13.603
Rougher than yours
00:00:13.638 --> 00:00:15.218
Daddy left before I was born
00:00:15.848 --> 00:00:17.388
Daddy left before I was conceived
00:00:18.601 --> 00:00:20.241
Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin
00:00:20.311 --> 00:00:21.651
Where else do you put one out
00:00:21.688 --> 00:00:22.978
I was molested
00:00:23.998 --> 00:00:24.732
Me too Uncle
00:00:24.774 --> 00:00:27.002
Uncles They took turns
00:00:27.036 --> 00:00:29.099
I watched my own birthday party through the keyhole of a locked closet
00:00:30.029 --> 00:00:31.409
which also happens to be my
00:00:31.447 --> 00:00:34.277
Your bedroom Lucky I slept in a dishwasher box
00:00:35.118 --> 00:00:36.408
You had a dishwasher
00:00:36.869 --> 00:00:38.001
I didn't even know sleep
00:00:38.001 --> 00:00:41.329
It was pretty much 24 7 ball gags brownie mix and clown porn
00:00:45.378 --> 00:00:46.628
Who would do such a thing
00:00:48.297 --> 00:00:51.757
Hopefully you later tonight
00:00:54.595 --> 00:00:59.515
Hey what can I get for 275 and a
00:01:00.727 --> 00:01:02.437
a Yogurtland rewards card
00:01:02.478 --> 00:01:05.108
Baby about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want
00:01:06.566 --> 00:01:08.316
And a low fat dessert
Available in 8 languages
Duration
69 seconds
Views
1,746
Timestamp in Movie
00:20:50
Uploaded
Jan 30, 2026
Genres
Production
20th Century Fox,The Donners' Company,Genre Films,Marvel Entertainment

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Movie Summary

A wisecracking mercenary gets experimented on and becomes immortal but ugly, and sets out to track down the man who ruined his looks.

Actors