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Gemma I'd like to lodge a complaint
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Death on the Tyne

Gemma, I'd like to lodge a complaint! What's wrong? Mildred's hogging Jack! By the time I...

Hilda: Gemma, I'd like to lodge a complaint!
Gemma: What's wrong?
Hilda: Mildred's hogging Jack! By the time I get my go, he'll be spent!
Gemma: Right. Umm... well maybe when Mildred's done, you can let Jack recharge himself a bit, and then have your go. On. Him.
[looks at Terry]
Gemma: Is it wrong I'm starting to feel like a nautical pimp?
Terry: [shakes his head and mouths no]

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.036
Gemma I'd like to lodge a complaint
00:00:03.036 --> 00:00:04.002
What's wrong
00:00:04.002 --> 00:00:05.002
Mildred's hogging Jack
00:00:05.002 --> 00:00:07.048
By the time I get my go he'll be spent
00:00:11.999 --> 00:00:11.088
Right erm
00:00:13.028 --> 00:00:14.092
Well maybe when Mildred's done
00:00:16.064 --> 00:00:20.076
you can let Jack recharge himself a bit
00:00:21.076 --> 00:00:26.048
and then have your go on him
00:00:29.999 --> 00:00:31.008
Is it wrong I'm starting to feel like a nautical pimp
Duration
32 seconds
Views
29
Timestamp in Movie
00:49:58
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Shiny Button Productions,UKTV

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Movie Summary

There is a serial killer loose on the overnight ferry from Newcastle to Amsterdam. Draper's Tours hostess Gemma Draper & her trusty coach driver Terry must help identify the killer before the sabotaged ship sinks.
It's got me all riled up, set my waters off. - Death on the Tyne 00:04
It's got me all riled up, set my waters off.
Right, Terry, help Hilda. She's sloshing. - Death on the Tyne 00:04
Right, Terry, help Hilda. She's sloshing.
Draw me like one of your French girls Jack - Death on the Tyne 00:09
Draw me like one of your French girls Jack
Well, I've only got a Biro, but uh, Ill do my best. - Death on the Tyne 00:06
Well, I've only got a Biro, but uh, Ill do my best.
Tiny, our cabins are, like little floating coffins. - Death on the Tyne 00:06
Tiny, our cabins are, like little floating coffins.
So he can keep all the money for himself - Death on the Tyne 00:05
So he can keep all the money for himself
See them pillows on that bed They're hypoallergenic - Death on the Tyne 00:07
See them pillows on that bed They're hypoallergenic
I mean, for all I know, - Death on the Tyne 00:07
I mean, for all I know,
I'll make it right. I promise. But not in the usual way. - Death on the Tyne 00:05
I'll make it right. I promise. But not in the usual way...
Look, there's no garage forecourt flowers - Death on the Tyne 00:04
Look, there's no garage forecourt flowers
We are the tour operators, - Death on the Tyne 00:04
We are the tour operators,
Oh, come on. Look at the size of Mildred. - Death on the Tyne 00:04
Oh, come on. Look at the size of Mildred.
We can easily get two in that bed, - Death on the Tyne 00:05
We can easily get two in that bed,
I live in a home, dear, - Death on the Tyne 00:04
I live in a home, dear,
Here are our key cards, - Death on the Tyne 00:07
Here are our key cards,
We don't always see eye to eye on bingo, - Death on the Tyne 00:07
We don't always see eye to eye on bingo,
Please let me forget, please let me forget, - Death on the Tyne 00:04
Please let me forget, please let me forget,
Look I don't know what you think you saw in there - Death on the Tyne 00:08
Look I don't know what you think you saw in there
Tell Mildred she's swapping cabins with me and Gemma, - Death on the Tyne 00:07
Tell Mildred she's swapping cabins with me and Gemma,
Oh, right. You couldn't give it, say, half an hour. - Death on the Tyne 00:05
Oh, right. You couldn't give it, say, half an hour.