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Disjointed

Cannabis legend Ruth Whitefeather Feldman employs her newly graduated son and a team of young "budtenders" to help run her Los Angeles marijuana dispensary.

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N/A

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Production

Vijayta Films

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You were... a fighter, you know? - Disjointed

You were... a fighter, you know?

♪ Good morning, starshine ♪ - Disjointed

♪ Good morning, starshine ♪

They've been part of your family
for over two hours. - Disjointed

They've been part of your family for over two hours.

Ruth's Alternative Caring, - Disjointed

Ruth's Alternative Caring,

But now...
on a shocking episode of Disjointed... - Disjointed

But now... on a shocking episode of Disjointed...

My son, of whom I'm very proud, - Disjointed

My son, of whom I'm very proud,

We're wearing fancy-ass gowns
with the tags still on - Disjointed

We're wearing fancy-ass gowns with the tags still on

[narrator reads on-screen text] - Disjointed

[narrator reads on-screen text]

Come on inside - Disjointed

With my arrest last night, - Disjointed

With my arrest last night,

This sativa-dominant hybrid
has been specially engineered - Disjointed

This sativa-dominant hybrid has been specially engineered

Young, giddy
and deeply curious about that hard lump - Disjointed

Young, giddy and deeply curious about that hard lump

Cannabis lawyer, cannabis activist, - Disjointed

Cannabis lawyer, cannabis activist,

Guys, this is the first of what I hope
will be many staff meetings. I... - Disjointed

Guys, this is the first of what I hope will be many staff me...

I've devoted my entire life to
spreading the gospel of marijuana, - Disjointed

I've devoted my entire life to spreading the gospel of ...

♪ He flew high, oh, so high ♪ - Disjointed

♪ He flew high, oh, so high ♪

[Jenny giggles] - Disjointed

[Jenny giggles]

- M-I-N...
- I know how to spell "Minnie." - Disjointed

- M-I-N... - I know how to spell "Minnie."

First of all, in
accordance with state law, - Disjointed

First of all, in accordance with state law,

Yeah. I know you only asked me out
because I'm dying, - Disjointed

Yeah. I know you only asked me out because I'm dying,

Yeah, but I'm not trying to make
butterscotch babies with this one. - Disjointed

Yeah, but I'm not trying to make butterscotch babies wi...

Hello. May I see your ID and
medical recommendation? - Disjointed

Hello. May I see your ID and medical recommendation?

Okay, so your mom is the first black
player on the Chicago White Sox? - Disjointed

Okay, so your mom is the first black player on the Chicago W...

If you'll excuse me, - Disjointed

If you'll excuse me,

-[Olivia] Ooh.
-[Jenny] Aah. - Disjointed

-[Olivia] Ooh. -[Jenny] Aah.

So, you'll have money left over
to buy that morning-after pill. - Disjointed

So, you'll have money left over to buy that morning-aft...

Minnie Minoso was the first man
to play professional baseball - Disjointed

Minnie Minoso was the first man to play professional basebal...

Parasailed straight into the Ferris wheel
at the Santa Monica Pier. - Disjointed

Parasailed straight into the Ferris wheel at the Santa Monic...

We have some right here,
but they're wearing it - Disjointed

We have some right here, but they're wearing it

Is our staff of highly-trained,
compassionate budtenders. - Disjointed

Is our staff of highly-trained, compassionate budtenders.

Shut the fuck up about
Minnie-fucking-Minoso. - Disjointed

Shut the fuck up about Minnie-fucking-Minoso.

You didn't think you were getting away
without pictures, did you? - Disjointed

You didn't think you were getting away without pictures...

You've already met Pete,
our in-house grower, - Disjointed

You've already met Pete, our in-house grower,

Oh, God. You're not quitting, are you?
I can change. - Disjointed

Oh, God. You're not quitting, are you? I can change.

Hi, Mrs. Whitefeather Feldman
from Ruth's Alternative Caring. - Disjointed

Hi, Mrs. Whitefeather Feldman from Ruth's Alternative C...

I'm also pleased to
work alongside Jenny. - Disjointed

I'm also pleased to work alongside Jenny.

But if either of you sons of bitches
lays a finger on my daughters... - Disjointed

But if either of you sons of bitches lays a finger on my dau...

I opened the door for business
and he barged in in his jammies. - Disjointed

I opened the door for business and he barged in in his jammi...

On behalf of all of us, - Disjointed

On behalf of all of us,

-Uh-oh. Here comes Goddess Ruth.
-If I could do something - Disjointed

-Uh-oh. Here comes Goddess Ruth. -If I could do something

- It's called a gi.
- I don't care what it's called, - Disjointed

- It's called a gi. - I don't care what it's ...

Travis here recently came onboard
after a trip to the dark side. - Disjointed

Travis here recently came onboard after a trip to the dark s...

Share it with someone you'll stalk
on Facebook in 20 years. - Disjointed

Share it with someone you'll stalk on Facebook in 20 ye...

Jeez, Travis, what's going on? I've
been getting fisted all morning. - Disjointed

Jeez, Travis, what's going on? I've been getting f...

Come on down to my place,
Ruth's Alternative Caring. - Disjointed

Come on down to my place, Ruth's Alternative Caring.

There is no alternative. - Disjointed

There is no alternative.

Look, I'm here on behalf - Disjointed

Look, I'm here on behalf

See? And there we have it, don't we?
To us, it's a retail plaza - Disjointed

See? And there we have it, don't we? To us, it's a...

- Now we have an online presence.
- Hey, we already got our first comment. - Disjointed

- Now we have an online presence. - Hey, we already got our ...

My little cannabis kingdom.
Come on in. I'll show you around. - Disjointed

My little cannabis kingdom. Come on in. I'll show you a...

"Ruth's Alternative Caring is a great
dispensary and Ruth is the best." - Disjointed

"Ruth's Alternative Caring is a great dispensary a...

But to you, no, it's just a strip
mall where it's perfectly fine - Disjointed

But to you, no, it's just a strip mall where it's ...

Tae Kwon Doug, sorry about your wrist. - Disjointed

Tae Kwon Doug, sorry about your wrist.

Your "patients" to take
their "medicine" out - Disjointed

Your "patients" to take their "medicine"...

"I'm a high school math teacher - Disjointed

"I'm a high school math teacher

[Tina & Travis laughing] - Disjointed

[Tina & Travis laughing]

Wow. Did you get that, Carter?
Guy's got two assholes. - Disjointed

Wow. Did you get that, Carter? Guy's got two assholes.

To tell you two things: - Disjointed

To tell you two things:

Look... families are the
backbone of our businesses here, - Disjointed

Look... families are the backbone of our businesses here,

I mean, you know, Travis,
getting on Leafly, that was a good idea. - Disjointed

I mean, you know, Travis, getting on Leafly, that was a good...

Then you'd meet her. [clears throat] - Disjointed

Then you'd meet her. [clears throat]

You want everyone to know that
a martial arts instructor - Disjointed

You want everyone to know that a martial arts instructor

Look, Tae Kwon, I
understand your position, - Disjointed

Look, Tae Kwon, I understand your position,

Also known as an MBA-hole. [chuckles] - Disjointed

Also known as an MBA-hole. [chuckles]

Oh, man. MBA-hole.
Where was that during the Scrabble game? - Disjointed

Oh, man. MBA-hole. Where was that during the Scrabble game?

And three, when I walked
out of here yesterday, - Disjointed

And three, when I walked out of here yesterday,

And I would refer you to 2005's Los
Angeles County v. Hector's Dildos. - Disjointed

And I would refer you to 2005's Los Angeles County v. H...

I am full of shit. [chuckling] - Disjointed

I am full of shit. [chuckling]

Well, to be fair, Olivia's the one
who made the Leafly thing happen. - Disjointed

Well, to be fair, Olivia's the one who made the Leafly ...

That was where three men were caught
in a parking lot repeatedly... - Disjointed

That was where three men were caught in a parking lot repeat...

Just a humble pot-store employee
who completed a task. - Disjointed

Just a humble pot-store employee who completed a task.

But then last night happened
and you turned me small. - Disjointed

But then last night happened and you turned me small.

I haven't bought marijuana since 1991,
right before a Spin Doctors concert. - Disjointed

I haven't bought marijuana since 1991, right before a S...

Look, I have come here to notify you - Disjointed

Look, I have come here to notify you

You know?
No more of that needless infighting. - Disjointed

You know? No more of that needless infighting.

- ID and medical recommendation.
- Yeah... Yeah, of course. I got my... - Disjointed

- ID and medical recommendation. - Yeah... Yeah, of course. ...

She gives free makeovers
to homeless women - Disjointed

She gives free makeovers to homeless women

I got my driver's license
and my doctor's note, - Disjointed

I got my driver's license and my doctor's note,

Although, seriously, I still do wish
the two of you were fucking. - Disjointed

Although, seriously, I still do wish the two of you were fuc...

I mean, the guy was wearing sandals. - Disjointed

I mean, the guy was wearing sandals.

Awkward. [chuckles] - Disjointed

Awkward. [chuckles]

Healp. It's a combination
of "help" and "heal." - Disjointed

Healp. It's a combination of "help" and "...

We know you're working
hard in medical school, - Disjointed

We know you're working hard in medical school,

Only because the teacher
has become the teacher - Disjointed

Only because the teacher has become the teacher

♪ You already know ♪ - Disjointed

♪ You already know ♪

[grunting] - Disjointed

Happy-ish. I just reached
a point in my life - Disjointed

Happy-ish. I just reached a point in my life

These Brita water filters hearken back. - Disjointed

These Brita water filters hearken back.

Like right now. Like, I am this close
to driving the minivan into the lake. - Disjointed

Like right now. Like, I am this close to driving the minivan...

Hi, I'm paid actress Mary Fakename,
and this is the Bud Butter Buddy, - Disjointed

Hi, I'm paid actress Mary Fakename, and this is the Bud...

Disjointed poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Cannabis legend Ruth Whitefeather Feldman employs her newly graduated son and a team of young "budtenders" to help run her Los Angeles marijuana dispensary.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: David Javerbaum, Chuck Lorre

Production: Vijayta Films

Genre: comedy

Year: 2017

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.8

BoxOffice:

Released: 25 Aug 2017

Awards: N/A

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