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"Dodgeball" quotes

Dodgeball poster
A group of misfits enter a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament in order to save their cherished local gym from the onslaught of a corporate health fitness chain.

Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber
Writer: Rawson Marshall Thurber
Production: Red Hour Productions
Genre: comedy, sport
Year: 2004
MetaScore: 55/100
ImdbRating: 6.7
BoxOffice: $114,326,736
Released: 18 Jun 2004
Awards: 2 wins & 9 nominations.
My milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard - Dodgeball 00:13 My milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard Winner Average Joe's - Dodgeball 00:06 Winner Average Joe's That's court misconduct - Dodgeball 00:09 That's court misconduct They better chiggity check themselves before they wreck themselves - Dodgeball 00:12 They better chiggity check themselves before they wreck... Let's play smart - Dodgeball 00:26 Let's play smart I know you've been hiding some feelings for me - Dodgeball 00:14 I know you've been hiding some feelings for me You like the freaky stuff - Dodgeball 00:18 You like the freaky stuff I spoke to White Goodman before the match - Dodgeball 00:10 I spoke to White Goodman before the match If you're not a pirate - Dodgeball 00:07 If you're not a pirate Do you smell that fitness - Dodgeball 00:07 Do you smell that fitness My gym makes money - Dodgeball 00:20 My gym makes money You must be Daddy - Dodgeball 00:05 You must be Daddy You're going down La Fleur like a sweet muffin - Dodgeball 00:06 You're going down La Fleur like a sweet muffin Those men and that muff diver believe in you - Dodgeball 00:05 Those men and that muff diver believe in you Go you crazy son of a bitch Go He's on the warpath - Dodgeball 00:07 Go you crazy son of a bitch Go He's on the warpath Suck failure freaks - Dodgeball 00:05 Suck failure freaks Do they love you - Dodgeball 00:17 Do they love you Let's have a clean match - Dodgeball 00:15 Let's have a clean match They usually follow good nights - Dodgeball 00:13 They usually follow good nights Prepare to be humiliated on cable television - Dodgeball 00:08 Prepare to be humiliated on cable television I'm Peter La Fleur - Dodgeball 00:26 I'm Peter La Fleur Nobody makes me bleed my own blood Nobody - Dodgeball 00:05 Nobody makes me bleed my own blood Nobody No elimination Double fault You stepped over the line on the throw - Dodgeball 00:26 No elimination Double fault You stepped over the line on the... It was an accident I thought she was in play Not a chance - Dodgeball 00:09 It was an accident I thought she was in play Not a chance Your best player thinks he's a pirate - Dodgeball 00:17 Your best player thinks he's a pirate Where do you go when your wife changes the locks - Dodgeball 00:28 Where do you go when your wife changes the locks My sweet dick it's magic - Dodgeball 00:04 My sweet dick it's magic You're about as useful as a poopie flavored lollipop - Dodgeball 00:09 You're about as useful as a poopie flavored lollipop And trust your instincts - Dodgeball 00:16 And trust your instincts Globo Gym is a beacon of human physical perfection - Dodgeball 00:13 Globo Gym is a beacon of human physical perfection I found that if you have a goal - Dodgeball 00:16 I found that if you have a goal Your gym isn't even worth four - Dodgeball 00:23 Your gym isn't even worth four How many teams are in this qualifier - Dodgeball 00:34 How many teams are in this qualifier I've got some hookers in my room What do you say we go celebrate My treat - Dodgeball 00:13 I've got some hookers in my room What do you say we go... Good toss by the submissive out there - Dodgeball 00:06 Good toss by the submissive out there I guess it just wasn't in the cards - Dodgeball 00:18 I guess it just wasn't in the cards It could be any one of us at this point Go ahead make your jokes Mr - Dodgeball 00:12 It could be any one of us at this point Go ahead make your... We haven't seen Average Joe's yet - Dodgeball 00:15 We haven't seen Average Joe's yet We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras - Dodgeball 00:12 We ARE the Globo Gym Purple Cobras You asked me to come - Dodgeball 00:21 You asked me to come It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this Cinderella story - Dodgeball 00:12 It looks like the clock is about to strike midnight on this... Thank you Chuck Norris Thank you Peter - Dodgeball 00:06 Thank you Chuck Norris Thank you Peter At Globo Gym we're better than you and we know it - Dodgeball 00:09 At Globo Gym we're better than you and we know it To be continued - Dodgeball 00:08 To be continued I wasn't aware I was paying you to  socialize - Dodgeball 00:14 I wasn't aware I was paying you to socialize I get better runs in my shorts - Dodgeball 00:07 I get better runs in my shorts That is pure poppycock - Dodgeball 00:06 That is pure poppycock Hey asshole you guys suck - Dodgeball 00:06 Hey asshole you guys suck They're not freaks - Dodgeball 00:19 They're not freaks In thirty days I'll be bulldozing that shit heap you call a gym into permanent nothingness - Dodgeball 00:16 In thirty days I'll be bulldozing that shit heap you... I'm gonna send you all to hell - Dodgeball 00:05 I'm gonna send you all to hell I ain't crazy and I ain't a guy - Dodgeball 00:07 I ain't crazy and I ain't a guy Uber American Instructional Films - Dodgeball 01:08 Uber American Instructional Films We're better than you - Dodgeball 00:24 We're better than you Is a really interesting painting - Dodgeball 00:18 Is a really interesting painting That's the deal - Dodgeball 00:24 That's the deal Meet Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky - Dodgeball 01:00 Meet Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky A city built of hot sand - Dodgeball 00:19 A city built of hot sand We could sell blood and semen - Dodgeball 00:13 We could sell blood and semen You had me at blood and semen - Dodgeball 00:06 You had me at blood and semen And they'll take care of you - Dodgeball 00:14 And they'll take care of you It's probably the way he wanted to go - Dodgeball 00:09 It's probably the way he wanted to go Goddamn you Bernice - Dodgeball 00:04 Goddamn you Bernice You fired me so I would date you - Dodgeball 00:17 You fired me so I would date you We're gonna pecker slap those Globo Gym bastards - Dodgeball 00:08 We're gonna pecker slap those Globo Gym bastards You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat - Dodgeball 00:07 You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat I won that tournament - Dodgeball 00:14 I won that tournament Ladies and gentlemen it's the greatest happening in sport Sudden death dodgeball - Dodgeball 00:16 Ladies and gentlemen it's the greatest happening in... You're adopted Your parents don't even love you - Dodgeball 00:07 You're adopted Your parents don't even love you I didn't think that Nazi camp got out until eight - Dodgeball 00:10 I didn't think that Nazi camp got out until eight This doesn't concern you La Fleur - Dodgeball 00:14 This doesn't concern you La Fleur Dodgeball is a sport of violence - Dodgeball 00:09 Dodgeball is a sport of violence What are you doing here - Dodgeball 00:16 What are you doing here Without Patches - Dodgeball 00:36 Without Patches I like unicorns - Dodgeball 00:05 I like unicorns Guys Not to be a nay sayer or anything but the only customer we've had - Dodgeball 00:26 Guys Not to be a nay sayer or anything but the only customer... My sweet Jesus - Dodgeball 00:16 My sweet Jesus I feel like I'm watching a Cher video - Dodgeball 00:07 I feel like I'm watching a Cher video I love the smell of queef in the morning - Dodgeball 00:07 I love the smell of queef in the morning

Cast

Peter La Fleur - Vince Vaughn
Kate Veatch - Christine Taylor
White Goodman - Ben Stiller
Patches O'Houlihan - Rip Torn
Justin - Justin Long