Dogma quotes

Dogma poster
An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loop-hole and reenter Heaven.

Director: Kevin Smith
Writer: Kevin Smith
Production: Lions Gate
Year: 1999
MetaScore: 62/100
ImdbRating: 7.3
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 12 Nov 1999
Awards: 8 nominations.

138 Clips & Quotes

He's got a great sense of humor - Dogma 00:48 He's got a great sense of humor Tell me something about me - Dogma 00:41 Tell me something about me Let me get this straight - Dogma 05:42 Let me get this straight You know Christ - Dogma 00:15 You know Christ Metatron acts as the voice of God - Dogma 00:39 Metatron acts as the voice of God If there isn't a movie about it - Dogma 00:18 If there isn't a movie about it Behold the Metatron - Dogma 03:10 Behold the Metatron I think it's better to have ideas - Dogma 01:13 I think it's better to have ideas Last four days on Earth - Dogma 00:28 Last four days on Earth We call this piece the Fecalator - Dogma 02:32 We call this piece the Fecalator I don't want this - Dogma 02:23 I don't want this I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top grossing films of all time - Dogma 01:03 I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top grossing... Were you to hear it - Dogma 01:00 Were you to hear it You're breaking up with us - Dogma 01:02 You're breaking up with us I am to charge you with a holy crusade - Dogma 01:49 I am to charge you with a holy crusade But what are you doing hanging around - Dogma 00:51 But what are you doing hanging around The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them - Dogma 02:08 The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them We'd like two tickets to New Jersey - Dogma 00:48 We'd like two tickets to New Jersey I feel like I'm Han Solo - Dogma 00:26 I feel like I'm Han Solo He said that faith is like a glass of water - Dogma 02:17 He said that faith is like a glass of water Were they sent to Hell - Dogma 00:19 Were they sent to Hell Do you know what makes a human being decent - Dogma 01:04 Do you know what makes a human being decent Jesus didn't have any brothers or sisters - Dogma 01:24 Jesus didn't have any brothers or sisters So all I gotta do - Dogma 04:23 So all I gotta do It's not about who's right or wrong - Dogma 01:05 It's not about who's right or wrong You have broken the first commandment - Dogma 04:19 You have broken the first commandment This is not a drill - Dogma 00:25 This is not a drill You know what the dead do with most of their time - Dogma 00:30 You know what the dead do with most of their time The whole fucking world's against us - Dogma 00:14 The whole fucking world's against us The little stoner's got a point - Dogma 00:13 The little stoner's got a point No exquisite sin greater - Dogma 00:15 No exquisite sin greater Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence - Dogma 00:16 Leave it to the Catholics to destroy existence Some kind of fucking chicken - Dogma 01:44 Some kind of fucking chicken White folks only want to hear the good shit - Dogma 00:52 White folks only want to hear the good shit I'm telling you - Dogma 00:52 I'm telling you You're Catholic - Dogma 00:48 You're Catholic Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch - Dogma 00:14 Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch Are you saying you believe - Dogma 00:17 Are you saying you believe But I'm a fuckin' demon - Dogma 00:12 But I'm a fuckin' demon I hate sloppy seconds - Dogma 05:07 I hate sloppy seconds Ladies and gentlemen - Dogma 00:41 Ladies and gentlemen Who the fuck are you - Dogma 01:17 Who the fuck are you I have issues with anyone who treats G d as a burden instead of a blessing - Dogma 00:30 I have issues with anyone who treats G d as a burden instead... I lack definition - Dogma 00:31 I lack definition Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined - Dogma 00:29 Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians... Grab the little ones as well - Dogma 00:31 Grab the little ones as well Our sins are forgiven - Dogma 02:12 Our sins are forgiven You mean those fucks with the signs and pictures of dead babies - Dogma 00:42 You mean those fucks with the signs and pictures of dead... Maybe you're wrong about this slaughter thing - Dogma 01:47 Maybe you're wrong about this slaughter thing I know they were just kids - Dogma 00:21 I know they were just kids You won't be alone - Dogma 01:00 You won't be alone What gear are you in - Dogma 00:11 What gear are you in But you did not say  God bless you  when I sneezed - Dogma 00:36 But you did not say God bless you when I sneezed So once he's done with the firstborn - Dogma 01:57 So once he's done with the firstborn But let's say we're caught in a situation where we've got like five minutes to live - Dogma 00:43 But let's say we're caught in a situation where we've got... In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem - Dogma 00:54 In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem You are Bethany Sloane - Dogma 00:19 You are Bethany Sloane We were sent by Him who is called I Am - Dogma 00:25 We were sent by Him who is called I Am That's the only thing I couldn't figure out - Dogma 00:45 That's the only thing I couldn't figure out Glick's the kind of asshole that would bless his own clubs for a better game - Dogma 00:22 Glick's the kind of asshole that would bless his own clubs... Quit killing people - Dogma 00:15 Quit killing people Go back to your paper routes - Dogma 00:17 Go back to your paper routes The 14th Apostle - Dogma 00:58 The 14th Apostle I didn't cum on you - Dogma 00:11 I didn't cum on you Very basic strategy - Dogma 00:22 Very basic strategy Speaking of which - Dogma 00:29 Speaking of which What the fuck do you want with me - Dogma 00:18 What the fuck do you want with me Do you know about voodoo - Dogma 00:27 Do you know about voodoo What just went down with your friends over there - Dogma 00:32 What just went down with your friends over there I forgot my little voodoo doll - Dogma 00:34 I forgot my little voodoo doll Between guys with wings - Dogma 00:52 Between guys with wings You tell me it's important - Dogma 00:53 You tell me it's important Was Wisconsin really  that  bad - Dogma 00:13 Was Wisconsin really that bad Weren't we just in the woods - Dogma 00:22 Weren't we just in the woods I'll scream rape - Dogma 00:35 I'll scream rape I don't even know where the hell I am half the time - Dogma 00:21 I don't even know where the hell I am half the time SHIT into existence - Dogma 00:11 SHIT into existence Can you believe it - Dogma 00:36 Can you believe it But Silent Bob gets to live with us and you pay the rent - Dogma 00:29 But Silent Bob gets to live with us and you pay the rent Church laws are fallible because they're created by man - Dogma 00:18 Church laws are fallible because they're created by man You were martyred - Dogma 00:35 You were martyred What are you doing - Dogma 00:18 What are you doing She's fucking pissed - Dogma 00:29 She's fucking pissed He likes to listen to people talk - Dogma 00:51 He likes to listen to people talk Constitutionals - Dogma 00:34 Constitutionals So what do we do now - Dogma 00:21 So what do we do now If only they'd let us jerk off - Dogma 00:24 If only they'd let us jerk off Jesus wasn't white - Dogma 01:11 Jesus wasn't white The man was right about you - Dogma 00:37 The man was right about you All lines are currently down - Dogma 00:13 All lines are currently down You're a pure soul - Dogma 00:29 You're a pure soul Why are we here - Dogma 00:10 Why are we here So he's a Muse too - Dogma 00:39 So he's a Muse too Jay tells us you're gonna sleep with him - Dogma 00:15 Jay tells us you're gonna sleep with him That's a great one - Dogma 00:11 That's a great one Is the last Scion - Dogma 00:19 Is the last Scion You ever see that flick - Dogma 00:34 You ever see that flick You gotta be kidding me - Dogma 00:12 You gotta be kidding me Bartlteby and Loki - Dogma 01:08 Bartlteby and Loki He just lost it - Dogma 00:10 He just lost it I do believe in this - Dogma 00:15 I do believe in this Never heard of it - Dogma 01:05 Never heard of it What the shit is that - Dogma 00:11 What the shit is that Like I ever drove before - Dogma 00:12 Like I ever drove before I cant believe we forgot about the magazine - Dogma 00:16 I cant believe we forgot about the magazine Smoke that motherfucker like it aint no thang - Dogma 00:16 Smoke that motherfucker like it aint no thang That you offer us sex as a reward - Dogma 00:19 That you offer us sex as a reward What I just did gave me a fucking migraine - Dogma 00:31 What I just did gave me a fucking migraine Now if I remember my protocol correctly - Dogma 00:53 Now if I remember my protocol correctly Stall Bartleby from going into that church - Dogma 00:32 Stall Bartleby from going into that church I got half a stock when she kissed me - Dogma 00:21 I got half a stock when she kissed me I'm pissed off is what I am - Dogma 00:36 I'm pissed off is what I am So do you do anal - Dogma 00:22 So do you do anal Smoke that motherfucker like it ain't no thang - Dogma 00:16 Smoke that motherfucker like it ain't no thang Quit leering at me - Dogma 00:20 Quit leering at me I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester - Dogma 00:24 I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third... 'Cause I'm a black man - Dogma 00:12 'Cause I'm a black man No wonder he saw Jesus - Dogma 00:17 No wonder he saw Jesus You're gonna burn in hell - Dogma 00:17 You're gonna burn in hell Are we too late - Dogma 00:16 Are we too late Have you ever been to hell - Dogma 00:41 Have you ever been to hell So this is all about revenge - Dogma 00:30 So this is all about revenge I didn't ask you out for sex - Dogma 00:13 I didn't ask you out for sex If we're not gonna fuck - Dogma 00:20 If we're not gonna fuck I'm supposed to be in it - Dogma 00:18 I'm supposed to be in it I thought she looked familiar - Dogma 00:13 I thought she looked familiar I think this shit just kicked in - Dogma 00:14 I think this shit just kicked in Prepare to taste God's wrath - Dogma 00:13 Prepare to taste God's wrath Don't make me angry - Dogma 00:18 Don't make me angry Take your best fucking shot - Dogma 00:13 Take your best fucking shot That's what you get - Dogma 00:11 That's what you get His piece will be rubbing inside of your armor - Dogma 00:16 His piece will be rubbing inside of your armor You know death is a worry of the living - Dogma 00:27 You know death is a worry of the living I told them I was coming up on a routine possession - Dogma 00:24 I told them I was coming up on a routine possession I remember when all we used to have for breakfast was fish and goat's milk - Dogma 00:31 I remember when all we used to have for breakfast was fish... Do I come off as gay - Dogma 00:11 Do I come off as gay What did you say - Dogma 00:43 What did you say Now please rise for the recession of faith - Dogma 00:16 Now please rise for the recession of faith

Cast

John Doe Jersey - Bud Cort
Stygian Triplet (as Barrett Hackney) - Barret Hackney
Stygian Triplet - Jared Pfennigwerth
Stygian Triplet - Kitao Sakurai
Cardinal Glick - George Carlin
Grant Hicks (as Brian Christopher O'Halloran) - Brian O'Halloran
Loki - Matt Damon
Bartleby - Ben Affleck
Priest at St. Stephen's - Dan Etheridge
Kissing Couple - Derek Milosavljevic
Kissing Couple - Lesley Braden
Clinic Girl (scenes deleted) (as MarieElena O'Brien) - Marie Elena O'Brien
Protestor #1 - Bryan Johnson
Protestor #2 - Walter Flanagan
Azrael - Jason Lee
Mrs. Reynolds - Nancy Bach
Metatron - Alan Rickman
Silent Bob - Kevin Smith
Gun Salesman - Jeff Anderson
Smooching Seaman - Scott Mosier
Seaman Smoocher - Monica Hampton
Rufus - Chris Rock
Serendipity - Salma Hayek
Gangster #1 (as Benjamin Cain) - Benjamin J. Cain Jr.
Gangster #2 - Richard Baderinwa
Gangster #3 - Javon Johnson
Gangster #4 - Derrick Sanders
Whitland - Mark Joy
Woman in Boardroom - Linda Levine
Noman - Ethan Suplee
Bus Station Attendant - Guinevere Turner
Blanket Boy on Train (as Jon Gordon) - Jonathan Gordon
Bartender - Matthew Maher
Governor Dalton (as Nancy Mosser Bailey) - Nancy Mosser
Officer McGee (as Robert 'Ratface' Holtzman) - Robert Holtzman
Diner Patron - Tony Amen
Club Patron - Ming Chen
Flight Attendant - Alexandra Dimopoulos
Dead Parishioner - Michael Fullmer
Parishioner - William Hutchings
Parishioner - Robert Kotaska
Priest with Buddy Christ #1 - John Launder
Woman in Elevator - Kimberly Loughran
Parishioner - Jim Mahfood
Parishoner - Brendan McFadden
Dead Parishioner - Phil Nardozzi
Parishioner - Joe Nozemack
Reporter - Ernest O'Donnell
Woman at Airport - Gwyneth Paltrow
Parishioner - MarieKaren Pechinski
Man Holding Mooby Figurine in Airport - Brian Quinn
Parishioner - Bob Schreck
Bus Rider - Joe Shelby
Parishioner - Rusty Sheridan
Businessman - J.E. Smith
Parishioner - Vanessa Tolino
Dead Parishioner - Patrick Walsh
Protester - Adrienne Wehr