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Jay:
[Bethany, Jay, and Silent Bob are sitting in a diner; the guys are staring at Bethany expectantly]
So what's up? You have a friend for Silent Bob or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds. Bethany:
You're a man of principle. Jersey's pretty far from McHenry, may I ask what brought you here? Jay:
Some fuck named John Hughes. Bethany:
"16 Candles" John Hughes? Jay:
You know that guy too? That Fuckin' guy. He made this flick, "16 Candles". Not bad, there's tits in it but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a shit about that kind of thing, 'cause he's like, all in love with this John Hughes guy. [Silent Bob shakes his head with a "whatever" look on his face] Jay:
He goes out and rents, like, every one of his movies. Fuckin' "Breakfast Club", where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. Fuckin' "Weird Science", where this babe wants to take her gear off and get down, but oh no, she don't, 'cause it's a PG movie. And then "Pretty in Pink", which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch anymore 'cause every time he gets to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit. And there's nothing worse than watching a Fuckin' fat man weep. [Silent Bob blows out his cigarette smoke angrily] Bethany:
What exactly brought you to Illinois? Jay:
See, all these movies take place in this small town called Shermer in Illinois, where all the honeys are top-shelf but all the dudes are whiny pussies. Except for Judd Nelson, he was Fuckin' harsh. [he and Silent Bob bump fists] Jay:
But best of all, there was no one dealin', man. And then it hits me: we could live like FAT rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed and caught a bus. But you know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There IS no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are Fuckin' bullshit
[Bethany, Jay, and Silent Bob are sitting in a diner; the guys are staring at Bethany expectantly]
So what's up? You have a friend for Silent Bob or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds. Bethany:
You're a man of principle. Jersey's pretty far from McHenry, may I ask what brought you here? Jay:
Some fuck named John Hughes. Bethany:
"16 Candles" John Hughes? Jay:
You know that guy too? That Fuckin' guy. He made this flick, "16 Candles". Not bad, there's tits in it but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a shit about that kind of thing, 'cause he's like, all in love with this John Hughes guy. [Silent Bob shakes his head with a "whatever" look on his face] Jay:
He goes out and rents, like, every one of his movies. Fuckin' "Breakfast Club", where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. Fuckin' "Weird Science", where this babe wants to take her gear off and get down, but oh no, she don't, 'cause it's a PG movie. And then "Pretty in Pink", which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch anymore 'cause every time he gets to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit. And there's nothing worse than watching a Fuckin' fat man weep. [Silent Bob blows out his cigarette smoke angrily] Bethany:
What exactly brought you to Illinois? Jay:
See, all these movies take place in this small town called Shermer in Illinois, where all the honeys are top-shelf but all the dudes are whiny pussies. Except for Judd Nelson, he was Fuckin' harsh. [he and Silent Bob bump fists] Jay:
But best of all, there was no one dealin', man. And then it hits me: we could live like FAT rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed and caught a bus. But you know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There IS no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are Fuckin' bullshit
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.335
You know that guy too That fucking guy
00:00:04.503 --> 00:00:07.171
He made this flick Sixteen Candles Not bad
00:00:07.339 --> 00:00:09.257
There's tits in it but no bush
00:00:09.425 --> 00:00:12.176
But Ebert here don't give a shit about that kind of thing
00:00:12.344 --> 00:00:14.679
because he's in love with this John Hughes guy
00:00:14.847 --> 00:00:16.931
He goes out and rents every one of his movies
00:00:17.099 --> 00:00:21.436
Fucking Breakfast Club where stupid kids actually show up for detention
00:00:21.604 --> 00:00:25.315
Fucking Weird Science where this babe wants to undress and get down
00:00:25.482 --> 00:00:28.526
but oh no she don't because it's a PG movie
00:00:28.694 --> 00:00:32.078
And then Pretty in Pink which I can't watch with this tubby bitch anymore
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Movie Summary
The latest battle in the eternal war between Good and Evil has come to New Jersey in the late, late 20th Century. Angels, demons, apostles and prophets (of a sort) walk among the cynics and innocents of America and duke it out for the fate of humankind.
Actors
Jay
Bethany
