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"Don Jon" quotes

Don Jon poster
A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love.

Director: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Writer: Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Production: N/A
Year: 2013
MetaScore: 66/100
ImdbRating: 6.5
BoxOffice: $24,477,704
Released: 27 Sep 2013
Awards: 2 wins & 27 nominations
Wow. They are big
bastards, aren't they? - Don Jon 00:08 Wow. They are big bastards, aren't they? - Where are we?
- Standby. - Don Jon 00:19 - Where are we? - Standby. What the hell is wrong with her? - Don Jon 00:06 What the hell is wrong with her? What? - Don Jon 00:06 What? - What have you done to her?
- You're too late. - Don Jon 00:05 - What have you done to her? - You're too late. - What do they want?
- Me. My work. - Don Jon 00:06 - What do they want? - Me. My work. What did you do to your uniform? - Don Jon 00:26 What did you do to your uniform? We're nearing the jump point. Leave
your beacon on so I can find you. - Don Jon 00:13 We're nearing the jump point. Leave your beacon on so I... We have no interest
in hurting you. - Don Jon 00:22 We have no interest in hurting you. We got a stowaway. - Don Jon 00:09 We got a stowaway. We didn't know what to do. - Don Jon 00:11 We didn't know what to do. Vers, track Soh-Larr's beacon. - Don Jon 00:07 Vers, track Soh-Larr's beacon. Vers to Starforce Command.
Do you read me? - Don Jon 00:10 Vers to Starforce Command. Do you read me? Vers! - Don Jon 00:07 Vers! Vers! - Don Jon 00:06 Vers! Train's headed to
a tunnel up ahead. - Don Jon 00:09 Train's headed to a tunnel up ahead. Track the pod and find the girl. - Don Jon 00:14 Track the pod and find the girl. This is me and you on Halloween. - Don Jon 00:20 This is me and you on Halloween. This isn't about fighting wars. - Don Jon 00:07 This isn't about fighting wars. This can't be right. - Don Jon 00:14 This can't be right. They'll never let you fly. - Don Jon 00:13 They'll never let you fly. There's nothing left. The
core has been destroyed. - Don Jon 00:10 There's nothing left. The core has been destroyed. - That is the craziest shit I ever heard.
- Green, transforming aliens? - Don Jon 00:17 - That is the craziest shit I ever heard. - Green, transform... That is my blood, - Don Jon 00:06 That is my blood, That did something.
Try that again? - Don Jon 00:05 That did something. Try that again? That was all that
survived the crash. - Don Jon 00:18 That was all that survived the crash. Talk to me. Do you copy? - Don Jon 00:23 Talk to me. Do you copy? Species: Flerken. Threat: High. - Don Jon 00:05 Species: Flerken. Threat: High. She absorbed its' power. - Don Jon 00:08 She absorbed its' power. Safe journey to the beyond, my friend. - Don Jon 00:09 Safe journey to the beyond, my friend. Ronan. Skrulls have infiltrated C-53.
Come at once. - Don Jon 00:30 Ronan. Skrulls have infiltrated C-53. Come at once. Oh, wait. I forgot, your jacket. - Don Jon 00:09 Oh, wait. I forgot, your jacket. Oh, hold up. - Don Jon 00:23 Oh, hold up. Official SHIELD activity.
Stay back. - Don Jon 00:06 Official SHIELD activity. Stay back. Now, you know, I don't
really need these to see. - Don Jon 00:13 Now, you know, I don't really need these to see. Now who is this person?
Are--- are we in the right... - Don Jon 00:11 Now who is this person? Are--- are we in the right... No way. That's so cool. - Don Jon 00:19 No way. That's so cool. Nice scuba suit. - Don Jon 00:13 Nice scuba suit. Locking in a coordinate grid. - Don Jon 00:17 Locking in a coordinate grid. Locals on the periphery. - Don Jon 00:12 Locals on the periphery. Let's roll! - Don Jon 00:06 Let's roll! Leaving so soon? - Don Jon 00:06 Leaving so soon? It's cute how hard you try. - Don Jon 00:28 It's cute how hard you try. - Is this normal, like space turbulence?
- Pretty much. - Don Jon 00:06 - Is this normal, like space turbulence? - Pretty much. Is that it? The core? - Don Jon 00:07 Is that it? The core? - Is that a communicator?
- Yeah. - Don Jon 00:16 - Is that a communicator? - Yeah. If I played the same pinball machine for
6 years, I'd have some high scores, too. - Don Jon 00:12 If I played the same pinball machine for 6 years, I'd h... I wouldn't get too
close there, boss. - Don Jon 00:08 I wouldn't get too close there, boss. How do I look? - Don Jon 00:08 How do I look? His beacon's coming from that temple.
Let's move. - Don Jon 00:27 His beacon's coming from that temple. Let's move. Hi. I'm Vers. Kree Starforce. - Don Jon 00:25 Hi. I'm Vers. Kree Starforce. - HGX-78.
- 2RT-79. 8XX. - Don Jon 00:11 - HGX-78. - 2RT-79. 8XX. Hey. - Don Jon 00:09 Hey. Fury's colluding with the target. - Don Jon 00:09 Fury's colluding with the target. Excuse me, I'm looking
for Maria Rambeau? - Don Jon 00:21 Excuse me, I'm looking for Maria Rambeau? Either of you wouldn't happen to know
how these things come off, would you? - Don Jon 00:07 Either of you wouldn't happen to know how these things ... Do you know what time it is? - Don Jon 00:07 Do you know what time it is? Do you know how to
fly this thing? - Don Jon 00:17 Do you know how to fly this thing? Do we have any information
we can act on? - Don Jon 00:20 Do we have any information we can act on? - Coulson! You have eyes on them?
- They're not down here. - Don Jon 00:09 - Coulson! You have eyes on them? - They're not down he... Control it. - Don Jon 00:22 Control it. Commander. She's still moving. - Don Jon 00:07 Commander. She's still moving. Bail out! Bail out! Bail out! - Don Jon 00:10 Bail out! Bail out! Bail out! And how is that suppposed to
prove to me you're not a Skrull? - Don Jon 00:18 And how is that suppposed to prove to me you're not a S... Agent Fury, this is Agent Coulson.
Umm.. - Don Jon 00:14 Agent Fury, this is Agent Coulson. Umm.. After you. - Don Jon 00:08 After you. This sound - Don Jon 00:28 This sound Jesus What are you fucking retarded You're fucking retarded - Don Jon 00:05 Jesus What are you fucking retarded You're fucking... There's only a few things I really care about in life - Don Jon 00:19 There's only a few things I really care about in life I love her I love her Pretty good huh Not bad at all - Don Jon 00:07 I love her I love her Pretty good huh Not bad at all You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life - Don Jon 00:12 You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in... Or else it looks Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me - Don Jon 00:07 Or else it looks Don't talk about vacuuming in front of... Look at me I look like a grandmother - Don Jon 00:07 Look at me I look like a grandmother I never actually touch my cock till I find the right clip - Don Jon 00:05 I never actually touch my cock till I find the right clip He's kind of right man you do I don't like more than a handful of titty - Don Jon 00:20 He's kind of right man you do I don't like more... Amen Bless you my son Forgive me Father for I have sinned - Don Jon 00:17 Amen Bless you my son Forgive me Father for I have sinned That's the point it's a scale from one to ten - Don Jon 00:10 That's the point it's a scale from one to ten What are you saying All I'm saying is that girl - Don Jon 00:14 What are you saying All I'm saying is that girl Moneyshot No There is no real life moneyshot - Don Jon 00:17 Moneyshot No There is no real life moneyshot

Cast