General Ripper called Strategic Air Command headquarters shortly after he issued the go...

General "Buck" Turgidson: General Ripper called Strategic Air Command headquarters shortly after he issued the go code. I have a portion of the transcript of that conversation if you'd like me to to read it. President Merkin Muffley: Read it! General "Buck" Turgidson: Ahem... The Duty Officer asked General Ripper to confirm the fact that he *had* issued the go code, and he said, uh, "Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in, and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country, and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. Uh, my boys will give you the best kind of start, 1400 megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now, uhuh. Uh, so let's get going, there's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural... fluids. God bless you all" and he hung up. [beat] General "Buck" Turgidson: Uh, we're, still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir. President Merkin Muffley: There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic. General "Buck" Turgidson: We-he-ell, uh, I'd like to hold off judgement on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in. President Merkin Muffley: General Turgidson! When you instituted the human reliability tests, you *assured* me there was *no* possibility of such a thing *ever* occurring! General "Buck" Turgidson: Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.

shortly after he issued the go code. I have a portion of the conversation transcript if you'd like me to read it. Read it. The duty officer asked General Ripper... to confirm the fact that he had issued the go code and he said: "Yes, gentlemen, they are on their way in and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country and our way of life... I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them. Otherwise, we will be totally destroyed by Red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start: 1,400 megatons worth. And you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going. There's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear... and in true health through the purity... and essence of our natural... fluids. God bless you all." Then he hung up. We're still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir. There's nothing to figure out. This man is obviously a psychotic. I'd like to hold off judgment until all the facts are in. General Turgidson, when you instituted the human reliability tests... you assured me there was no possibility of such a thing ever occurring. Well, I don't think it's fair to condemn a whole program... because of a single slipup, sir. I want to speak to General Ripper on the telephone. That's impossible. General Turgidson, I am becoming less and less interested... in your estimates of what is possible and impossible. General Faceman. Yes, sir? Are there any army units stationed near Burpelson? I'll just check, sir. Hello? I told you never to call me here. Don't you know where I am? Look, baby, I can't talk to you now. My president needs me. Of course Bucky would rather be there with you. Of course it isn't only physical. I deeply respect you as a human being. Someday I'm going to make you Mrs. Buck Turgidson. Oh, listen, you go back to sleep. Bucky will be there as soon as he can. All right. Listen, don't forget to say your prayers. Apparently, the 23rd Airborne Division... is stationed seven miles away at Alvarado. General Faceman, I want them to enter the base, locate General Ripper... and put him in immediate telephone contact with me. Yes, sir. Mr. President? If I may advise. Under a condition red, it is standard procedure that the base be sealed off... and the base defended by base security troops. Any force trying to enter would certainly encounter heavy casualties. General Turgidson, with all due respect for your defense team... my boys can brush them aside without too much trouble. Mr. President, there are one or two points I'd like to make, if I may? Go ahead, General. One: Our hopes for recalling the 843rd Bomb Wing... are quickly being reduced to a very low order of probability. Two: In less than 15 minutes from now... the Ruskies will be making radar contact with the planes. Three: When they do... they will go absolutely ape and strike back with everything they've got. Four: If prior to this time... we have done nothing to suppress their retaliatory capabilities... we will suffer virtual annihilation. Five: Lf, on the other hand... we immediately launched an attack on their airfields and missile bases...