Oh,Eddie, get the motherfuckin dog away from my plate. I'm gonna shoot this dog! I'm gonna...

Eddie Murphy:
[as his drunk father]
Gus! Gus, can i ask you a question? Come here, let me ask you a question, Gus? Gus, let me ask you a question. Gus, why's the fire so big? Why did you made the fire so big, Gus? Look at this shit. It's a motherfuckin ridiculous, Gus. The fire's too motherfuckin big! Why? You come over every motherfuckin years, Gus and you burned down my motherfuckin backyard. WHY? I'm cookin motherfuckin hamburgers and franks! I'm not cookin the motherfuckin brontosaurus burger in this motherfucker. This ain't the motherfuckin Flinstones, Gus. It's my HOUSE, motherfucker! Look at Charlie standing over there with third degree burns on him, eatin a motherfuckin frank. It doesn't make. No, you take things too far, Gus. You take things too far. I tell you to an inch, you go three inches. I tell you four inches, you go five. Give a nigger a rope like them cowboys, Gus. Why dont you listen? [to Eddie] Eddie Murphy:
Oh,Eddie, get the motherfuckin dog away from my plate. I'm gonna shoot this dog! I'm gonna shoot the mother - shut up! I'm gonna shoot it. Stop crying. Stop crying, Eddie, cause You'll get the fuck out. You'll get the fuck - I know your seven. I know your seven. But you'll be a seven-year-old-wakin-the-dog-with-no-house-motherfucker! You know it is cause it's mine, motherfucker and I hate this motherfuckin dog. Cause you never answer The dog, you don't spend time with The dog, Eddie! You dont feed the motherfucker! You don't pet it! You even don't know the fuckin dog's name is anymore, do you? The dog dont give a fuck cause he doesn't know his name. The dog is is three years old, dont know his name. Watch this. Coco? Where the fuck is he going? The dog stupid Cause you don't spend time with the motherfucker. And I'm supposed to work hard all day and come home and feed motherfuckin dog? Fuck no! I am not feeding the motherfucker. You know, Eddie, when nobody's home, you know what I do? I walk to The dog and I kick the motherfucker. I kicked the motherfuckin dog with everything I got, Eddie. I did and I giggled my motherfuckin ass off cause I hate the motherfucker. Cause you don't clean up behind it. Why can't you clean up the motherfuckin - This aint Scooby Doo, motherfucker! Why can't you clean The dog? The dog shits all over the house and when no one tells you, Eddie, You dont clean the shit. You let the shit stay forever. This shit has been in the den for six months, Eddie. It has been in the den for six months and when you kids go passed it, you act like You dont see it unless you told you wont clean the shit. The shit is hard as a rock now. It's like motherfuckin furniture in there. I went in there last week to watch the fight and i said "Fuck it" and put my drink on top of it, Eddie. It's a coffee table now! Why cant you clean up shit! My friends came over and go "Oh, that's lovely" and I was like "That's not lovely, it's a piece of SHIT! Cause my children don't listen!"