Log-in to add movie to favourites
Movie added to favourites
Movie removed from favourites

"Elvira: Mistress of the Dark" quotes

Elvira: Mistress of the Dark poster
Upon arriving in a small town where she has inherited a rundown mansion, a famous horror hostess battles an evil uncle, and townspeople who want her burned at the stake.

Director: James Signorelli
Writer: Sam Egan, John Paragon, Cassandra Peterson
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, horror
Year: 1988
MetaScore: 43/100
ImdbRating: 6.5
BoxOffice: $5,596,267
Released: 30 Sep 1988
Awards: 1 win & 4 nominations

45 video clips

Bob ReddingElviraChastity PariahCalvin CobbMr. ClotterMrs. MeekerCopPattySheriffMrs. MorisseyVincent TalbotEarl HooterMannyBartenderRobin MeekerLesley MeekerBillyMr. Rivers
It just so happens - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:43 It just so happens How's your head - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:13 How's your head And if they ever ask about me - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:33 And if they ever ask about me I run the movie house and Oh really - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:30 I run the movie house and Oh really And you never will with those soup cans on your head - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:20 And you never will with those soup cans on your head I don't think we need to resort to name calling - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:33 I don't think we need to resort to name calling Who shot the couch - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:14 Who shot the couch I must apologize for my behavior in the office - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:11 I must apologize for my behavior in the office I barely got away with my life - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:30 I barely got away with my life We'll find out soon enough - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:06 We'll find out soon enough Do you want a virgin - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:14 Do you want a virgin Your sister was like a mother to me - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:20 Your sister was like a mother to me What's that perfume you're wearing - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:25 What's that perfume you're wearing Great just grab a tool and start banging - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:08 Great just grab a tool and start banging Any two as long as they are simple - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:08 Any two as long as they are simple But the ladies back home call me Longhorn - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:42 But the ladies back home call me Longhorn You know what your problem is - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:07 You know what your problem is But if you hum a few bars - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:16 But if you hum a few bars Trash does not compete with class - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:12 Trash does not compete with class If she's morally unfit - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:14 If she's morally unfit It is a pot luck - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:18 It is a pot luck What's there to do for fun around here - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:19 What's there to do for fun around here I hate to interrupt this little episode of The Walton's but could I get a room - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:18 I hate to interrupt this little episode of The Walton's... The only showroom you'll be seeing in Vegas will have Toyotas in it - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:11 The only showroom you'll be seeing in Vegas will have... I didn't know I had a good aunt - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:11 I didn't know I had a good aunt You think you're pretty clever - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:18 You think you're pretty clever I have seen the People's Court - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:10 I have seen the People's Court You're not a very nice person - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:08 You're not a very nice person I've never been so humiliated in my life - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:18 I've never been so humiliated in my life I'd bend over backwards - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:06 I'd bend over backwards Well at least you've still got the ring - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:17 Well at least you've still got the ring We do have a room - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:13 We do have a room My name's Elvira - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:07 My name's Elvira He who holds the book of sight - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:13 He who holds the book of sight They're gonna kill Spider Man with plutonium - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:07 They're gonna kill Spider Man with plutonium What's that perfume you're wearing Super unleaded - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:10 What's that perfume you're wearing Super unleaded Is having a good time - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:22 Is having a good time Whoa I must have done too much antacid in the '60th - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:06 Whoa I must have done too much antacid in the '60th It specifically forbids - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:32 It specifically forbids It'll be a guaranteed standing ovulation - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:07 It'll be a guaranteed standing ovulation Is there a motel or something around here - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:30 Is there a motel or something around here I don't know who you are - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:15 I don't know who you are Excuse me is this face taken - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:04 Excuse me is this face taken Yes well as you may have surmised - Elvira: Mistress of the Dark 00:32 Yes well as you may have surmised

Cast

Director - Phil Rubenstein
Technical Director - Larry Flash Jenkins
Elvira - Cassandra Peterson
Associate Producer - Damita Jo Freeman
Anchorwoman - Tress MacNeille
All Cast