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And I come back here
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Eric Andre: Legalize Everything

And I come back here, and Americansare so fucking buttoned-up, man

And I come back here, and Americans
are so fucking buttoned-up, man

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.085
And I come back here,
00:00:02.046 --> 00:00:04.921
and Americans are so fucking buttoned-up, man.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
22
Timestamp in Movie
00:40:00
Uploaded
Jun 04, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Eric Andre takes the stage in New Orleans and tackles flawed fast-food icons, the wonders of autofill and the bizarre choice for the "Cops" theme song.
And the reason we got like this, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
And the reason we got like this,
And the pilgrims were the worst, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:07
And the pilgrims were the worst,
And they thought western Europe was Sodom and Gomorra, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And they thought western Europe was Sodom and Gomorra,
So, they all hopped on the Mayflower in 1620, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:10
So, they all hopped on the Mayflower in 1620,
And Calvin, John Calvin, their spiritual forefather, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:18
And Calvin, John Calvin, their spiritual forefather,
And he would have his fucking critics tortured and murdered. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
And he would have his fucking critics tortured and murdered.
He had his stepson and daughter-in-law - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
He had his stepson and daughter-in-law
And he fucking-- He would drown single pregnant women alive - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And he fucking-- He would drown single pregnant women alive
This guy is the guy that continues - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
This guy is the guy that continues
So I beg of you, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:15
So I beg of you,
Go to Geneva, Switzerland where John Calvin's buried, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:10
Go to Geneva, Switzerland where John Calvin's buried,
And, uh... I text messaged this girl, Jessie, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:07
And, uh... I text messaged this girl, Jessie,
I texted her, "Come over." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:15
I texted her, "Come over."
So, my follow-up text was 10,000 times worse. I go, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:23
So, my follow-up text was 10,000 times worse. I go,
Or so I thought, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
Or so I thought,
So, this guy writes-- He goes, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:17
So, this guy writes-- He goes,
And then they go, "I'm Kevin, Jessie's boyfriend." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:07
And then they go, "I'm Kevin, Jessie's boyfri...
This guy keeps bothering my girlfriend, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
This guy keeps bothering my girlfriend,
Keep it up, you'll find out." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
Keep it up, you'll find out."
And the texts are coming through green, so you know he's a suss motherfucker. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
And the texts are coming through green, so you know he'...