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And the reason we got like this
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Eric Andre: Legalize Everything

And the reason we got like this, is because we were foundedby the pilgrims

And the reason we got like this, is because we were founded
by the pilgrims

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.627
And the reason we got like this,
00:00:02.071 --> 00:00:05.713
is because we were founded by the pilgrims.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:40:09
Uploaded
Jun 04, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Eric Andre takes the stage in New Orleans and tackles flawed fast-food icons, the wonders of autofill and the bizarre choice for the "Cops" theme song.
And the pilgrims were the worst, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:07
And the pilgrims were the worst,
And they thought western Europe was Sodom and Gomorra, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And they thought western Europe was Sodom and Gomorra,
So, they all hopped on the Mayflower in 1620, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:10
So, they all hopped on the Mayflower in 1620,
And Calvin, John Calvin, their spiritual forefather, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:18
And Calvin, John Calvin, their spiritual forefather,
And he would have his fucking critics tortured and murdered. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
And he would have his fucking critics tortured and murdered.
He had his stepson and daughter-in-law - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
He had his stepson and daughter-in-law
And he fucking-- He would drown single pregnant women alive - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And he fucking-- He would drown single pregnant women alive
This guy is the guy that continues - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
This guy is the guy that continues
So I beg of you, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:15
So I beg of you,
Go to Geneva, Switzerland where John Calvin's buried, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:10
Go to Geneva, Switzerland where John Calvin's buried,
And, uh... I text messaged this girl, Jessie, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:07
And, uh... I text messaged this girl, Jessie,
I texted her, "Come over." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:15
I texted her, "Come over."
So, my follow-up text was 10,000 times worse. I go, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:23
So, my follow-up text was 10,000 times worse. I go,
Or so I thought, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
Or so I thought,
So, this guy writes-- He goes, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:17
So, this guy writes-- He goes,
And then they go, "I'm Kevin, Jessie's boyfriend." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:07
And then they go, "I'm Kevin, Jessie's boyfri...
This guy keeps bothering my girlfriend, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
This guy keeps bothering my girlfriend,
Keep it up, you'll find out." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
Keep it up, you'll find out."
And the texts are coming through green, so you know he's a suss motherfucker. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
And the texts are coming through green, so you know he'...
A bad guy from an 80's spring break movie?" - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
A bad guy from an 80's spring break movie?"