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I can't put my dick in that asshole, 'cause it's like a dirty crab knuckle
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Eric Andre: Legalize Everything

I can't put my dick in that asshole,'cause it's like a dirty crab knuckle, just...

I can't put my dick in that asshole,
'cause it's like a dirty crab knuckle, just suffocating the life out of my dick

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.046
I can't put my dick in that asshole, 'cause it's like a dirty crab knuckle,
00:00:05.013 --> 00:00:07.757
just suffocating the life out of my dick.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
30
Timestamp in Movie
00:32:45
Uploaded
Jun 04, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Eric Andre takes the stage in New Orleans and tackles flawed fast-food icons, the wonders of autofill and the bizarre choice for the "Cops" theme song.
You gotta force your dick into that fucking violent, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
You gotta force your dick into that fucking violent,
You could try sticking it in that little pee-pee hole, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
You could try sticking it in that little pee-pee hole,
And I'm gonna be honest with you, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
And I'm gonna be honest with you,
I actually quite enjoy-- It felt like somebody - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
I actually quite enjoy-- It felt like somebody
Okay, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
Okay,
And then she continued going down between my buttcheeks, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
And then she continued going down between my buttcheeks,
And I was like, "Babe, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And I was like, "Babe,
And then she finally came up for a breath of air, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And then she finally came up for a breath of air,
My... My dad looks like Arthur Ashe, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
My... My dad looks like Arthur Ashe,
And that is why I look like Ernie from Sesame Street. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
And that is why I look like Ernie from Sesame Street.
My parents done fucked, bro. My parents done-- - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
My parents done fucked, bro. My parents done--
Can I tell you how fucking old school and fresh off the boat - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
Can I tell you how fucking old school and fresh off the boat
You can type one word in Google, bloop-bloop, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
You can type one word in Google, bloop-bloop,
My parents fucked. Everyone in here, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
My parents fucked. Everyone in here,
Close your eyes and picture-- Imagine your parents, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
Close your eyes and picture-- Imagine your parents,
But you wouldn't be here, you little shits, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
But you wouldn't be here, you little shits,
Explode his Spider-Man DNA web - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:11
Explode his Spider-Man DNA web
Your fucking disgusting, horny dad just came in... - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
Your fucking disgusting, horny dad just came in...
And then your dad put on - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
And then your dad put on
Your mom took a big shit over it, and then five months later, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
Your mom took a big shit over it, and then five months later...