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When are you ever gonna have to flex the third amendment in your real life?
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Eric Andre: Legalize Everything

When are you ever gonna have to flexthe third amendment in your real life?

When are you ever gonna have to flex
the third amendment in your real life?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.336
When are you ever gonna have to flex the third amendment in your real life?
Duration
4 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:31:26
Uploaded
Jun 04, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Eric Andre takes the stage in New Orleans and tackles flawed fast-food icons, the wonders of autofill and the bizarre choice for the "Cops" theme song.
Let me crash on the futon tonight, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:16
Let me crash on the futon tonight,
Let me at least hold the string cheese out the fridge." - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
Let me at least hold the string cheese out the fridge."
It tasted like, and looked like, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
It tasted like, and looked like,
And I did-- I did it after she took a shit at the gym. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
And I did-- I did it after she took a shit at the gym.
I can't put my dick in that asshole, 'cause it's like a dirty crab knuckle, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
I can't put my dick in that asshole, 'cause it...
You gotta force your dick into that fucking violent, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
You gotta force your dick into that fucking violent,
You could try sticking it in that little pee-pee hole, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
You could try sticking it in that little pee-pee hole,
And I'm gonna be honest with you, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
And I'm gonna be honest with you,
I actually quite enjoy-- It felt like somebody - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
I actually quite enjoy-- It felt like somebody
Okay, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
Okay,
And then she continued going down between my buttcheeks, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
And then she continued going down between my buttcheeks,
And I was like, "Babe, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And I was like, "Babe,
And then she finally came up for a breath of air, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
And then she finally came up for a breath of air,
My... My dad looks like Arthur Ashe, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:06
My... My dad looks like Arthur Ashe,
And that is why I look like Ernie from Sesame Street. - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
And that is why I look like Ernie from Sesame Street.
My parents done fucked, bro. My parents done-- - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
My parents done fucked, bro. My parents done--
Can I tell you how fucking old school and fresh off the boat - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:05
Can I tell you how fucking old school and fresh off the boat
You can type one word in Google, bloop-bloop, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:09
You can type one word in Google, bloop-bloop,
My parents fucked. Everyone in here, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:04
My parents fucked. Everyone in here,
Close your eyes and picture-- Imagine your parents, - Eric Andre: Legalize Everything 00:08
Close your eyes and picture-- Imagine your parents,