Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. We feature one...

[unrated DVD version] [excerpts seen during original version credits] Hostel Clerk: Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. We feature one medium sized room containing 70 beds which can sleep up to 375 bodies a night. There is no bathroom. Nor is there one nearby. If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables. In your anus. This will deter some but of course not all thieves. Once you are inside, the doors are chained and locked from the outside. They will not be opened again until morning, no matter what. Should a fire occur due to our faulty wiring or, uh, the fireworks factory upstairs you will be incinerated along with the valuables that you have hidden in your anus. Tips are greatly appreciated.

Hello, and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. Sounds great. There is no bathroom, nor is there one nearby. * I can't believe he's so trusting (GIGGLES) Sorry. * While I'm right behind you thrusting Get it? She got it. If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables... In your anus. Drink? I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, okay? (LAUGHING) Ready? Quit. Shut up. Sorry. I know I fucked it up. Yes! You take her hair... And one strand at a time, pull it out! Use her like a humping post! Jenny, this is Europe. They have orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. ANNOUNCER: Hapi djus. You got to show them something they haven't seen. * Fiona's got him on the phone * And she's trying not to moan * It's a three-way call and he knows nothing * Nothing Scotty doesn't know * Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus. * So don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know * Really want to go * Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know * Scotty doesn't know * The parking lot why not? * It's so cool when you're on top (BUBBLING) (GIGGLING) * Life is so hard 'cause Scotty doesn't know * Scotty doesn't know Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers! Go on, you Gaelic fucking garlic-breath tossers! Piss off! Get in here and say that, mate! Come on! Fucking come and have it! You fucking beep? We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! Fuck off! Go on, you French bastards! Get on the other side of the road, you pricks! Go on out of it! Fuck off! I'm nackered.