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"Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask" quotes

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask poster
Seven stories are trying to answer the question: what is sex? Or maybe they are not trying.

Director: Woody Allen
Writer: David Reuben, Woody Allen
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy
Year: 1972
MetaScore: 66/100
ImdbRating: 6.7
BoxOffice: $18,016,290
Released: 06 Aug 1972
Awards: 1 win & 1 nomination

70 video clips

VictorThe OperatorDoctor RossThe GirlThe QueenDr. BernardoMrs. RossDr Doug RossThe KingGinaHelen LaceyJack BarrySheriffToni HoltSwitchboardSpermMilosSamRobert Q. LewisBernard JaffeRegis PhilbinPamela Mason
Before you know it the Renaissance will be here and we'll all be painting - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:06 Before you know it the Renaissance will be here and... I don't know if you've read my latest book - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 I don't know if you've read my latest book My father - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:07 My father Here now with most grievous dispatch I will open the latch - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 Here now with most grievous dispatch I will open the latch Can we have an erection What the hell's going on down there - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Can we have an erection What the hell's going on down... Defendant did commit an adulterous act with a sheep - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:11 Defendant did commit an adulterous act with a sheep Thank you doctor - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:31 Thank you doctor Yes For me Norman Mailer has exactly that same sort of relevance - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:22 Yes For me Norman Mailer has exactly that same sort of... Kiss me quick Yes Where is your quick - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:04 Kiss me quick Yes Where is your quick Here I'm studying premature ejaculation in a hippopotamus - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:31 Here I'm studying premature ejaculation in a... Didst I feel aright - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:13 Didst I feel aright Think we'll have intercourse tonight I'm very optimistic - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Think we'll have intercourse tonight I'm very... Aye my lord - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 Aye my lord How could you - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:09 How could you I'm not gonna get shot outta that thing - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:07 I'm not gonna get shot outta that thing One thing bothers me though That's a single You're sure that was a single - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:09 One thing bothers me though That's a single You're... Doctor I read a statement you made - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 01:09 Doctor I read a statement you made Room service this is Dr Ross in room 525 - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:18 Room service this is Dr Ross in room 525 'Tis the chastity belt that the jealous king hath fastened on me - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:12 'Tis the chastity belt that the jealous king hath... Come give me a kiss - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 Come give me a kiss It was my first time Did you like it - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:11 It was my first time Did you like it Be on the lookout for a large female breast - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:10 Be on the lookout for a large female breast You're insane - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:16 You're insane Victor please don't do anything dangerous - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 Victor please don't do anything dangerous Attention gonads We're going for record - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Attention gonads We're going for record TB or not TB - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:14 TB or not TB I bring her in Don't bring any sheep in this office - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:10 I bring her in Don't bring any sheep in this office What are you doing - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:20 What are you doing Doctor Mr Milos brought in his sheep - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 01:11 Doctor Mr Milos brought in his sheep My God She's my husband - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 My God She's my husband If I could I would be glad to try and make your wife come - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:06 If I could I would be glad to try and make your wife come We're too late He's dead - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:11 We're too late He's dead Let me have 50 worth of regular You bet - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Let me have 50 worth of regular You bet Prepare to stroke her thighs We're on the thighs and stroking - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:12 Prepare to stroke her thighs We're on the thighs and... Can't hold out any longer Prepare for release of sperm - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:07 Can't hold out any longer Prepare for release of sperm Well this looks like it Do you know what it's like out there - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:36 Well this looks like it Do you know what it's like out... We're inside We're making it - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:10 We're inside We're making it Roll out the tongue - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:18 Roll out the tongue In here I have 20 Scouts - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:09 In here I have 20 Scouts Go easy on my hymen - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:11 Go easy on my hymen Foreplay foreplay Oh - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:17 Foreplay foreplay Oh Hearken to me if my husband the king and my son the doctor - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:26 Hearken to me if my husband the king and my son the doctor Wait Fool come here - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:22 Wait Fool come here D'you like the way I fooled these guys - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:04 D'you like the way I fooled these guys The potion will be under the pillow - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:22 The potion will be under the pillow And I love the new exercise His Majesty does to keep in shape - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 And I love the new exercise His Majesty does to keep in... Cheerst - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Cheerst But seriously ladies and germs I wanna say that er - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:10 But seriously ladies and germs I wanna say that er Look where thou goest fool Forgive me I beg your puberty - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:04 Look where thou goest fool Forgive me I beg your puberty No Mr Milos You don't understand - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:12 No Mr Milos You don't understand So Now what seems to be the trouble - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:14 So Now what seems to be the trouble You need a psychiatrist I am a medical doctor - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:18 You need a psychiatrist I am a medical doctor I took Daisy off to a little cove - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:27 I took Daisy off to a little cove Little Daisy - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 Little Daisy Sorry I'm sorry honey I was out when you phoned - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:17 Sorry I'm sorry honey I was out when you phoned Sam we've been married for years - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:33 Sam we've been married for years Mr Jaffe is this one of those nice perversions - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:12 Mr Jaffe is this one of those nice perversions When you're doing your perversion do you have any need for props - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:07 When you're doing your perversion do you have any need... Is it something that is done with the hands - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Is it something that is done with the hands I see Thank you Is this one of the perversions - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:11 I see Thank you Is this one of the perversions Victor look - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:21 Victor look It's wonderful how you men of science have finally gotten around to sex - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:11 It's wonderful how you men of science have finally... Sheriff I wanna report an escaped tit A what - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Sheriff I wanna report an escaped tit A what Have you been drinking We don't have time to argue - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:09 Have you been drinking We don't have time to argue Are you studying sexual phenomena too - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:18 Are you studying sexual phenomena too I've never told anyone this before - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:08 I've never told anyone this before I've learned one thing from this whole situation and that is - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:13 I've learned one thing from this whole situation and... Victor what are we gonna do to stop this fiendish tit - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:06 Victor what are we gonna do to stop this fiendish tit Proceed with erection All systems go - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:04 Proceed with erection All systems go Shall we attempt penetration Prepare for penetration - Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask 00:05 Shall we attempt penetration Prepare for penetration

Cast

Victor - Woody Allen
Doctor Bernardo - John Carradine
Sam - Lou Jacobi
Gina - Louise Lasser
The King - Anthony Quayle
All Cast