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Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

The irreverent Scottish comedian tackles big themes like death, decline and the disappointments of middle age in her stand-up special filmed in Bristol.

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Phoebe Bourke

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Please welcome to the stage
Fern Brady! - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Please welcome to the stage Fern Brady!

Autistic Bikini Queen. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Autistic Bikini Queen.

I'm very sorry.
Almost none of the show is about autism. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'm very sorry. Almost none of the show is about autism...

I got my certificate
for Best Autistic Ever, A*, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I got my certificate for Best Autistic Ever, A*,

It's been really hard for me, uh, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It's been really hard for me, uh,

Just briefly, 'cause like I said,
the show isn't about autism, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Just briefly, 'cause like I said, the show isn't a...

And that's even when I'm tryin' to be… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

And that's even when I'm tryin' to be…

She was cryin' - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Now, I don't like touchin' or huggin'
my mother in any way whatsoever. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Now, I don't like touchin' or huggin' my moth...

So, as a compromise, I put my hand
on the woman's shoulder at arm's length. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

So, as a compromise, I put my hand on the woman's shoul...

And I said, "Mum,
things will only get worse from here." - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

And I said, "Mum, things will only get worse from here....

She didn't laugh and clap like you guys.
In fact, she cried harder. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

She didn't laugh and clap like you guys. In fact, she c...

'Cause whenever I make a social faux pas,
I read up on what you're supposed to do. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

'Cause whenever I make a social faux pas, I read up on ...

What you're supposed to do - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

What you're supposed to do

Somethin' along the lines of,
"Don't worry, Mum." - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Somethin' along the lines of, "Don't worry, M...

I can lie.
It's just that any time I attempt it, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I can lie. It's just that any time I attempt it,

It's always somethin'
along the lines of, "Don't worry, Mum." - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It's always somethin' along the lines of, "Do...

Neurotypical people, by the way,
you guys have a… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Neurotypical people, by the way, you guys have a…

So sometimes, when I say
to a neurotypical person I'm autistic, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

So sometimes, when I say to a neurotypical person I'm a...

Another important thing
I found out about my identity… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Another important thing I found out about my identity…

Uh, I really… Like, Scottish comedians,
a lot of Scottish people I meet, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Uh, I really… Like, Scottish comedians, a lot of Scottish pe...

I really can only connect with you
if you, too, are a Catholic. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I really can only connect with you if you, too, are a Cathol...

If you had a pedophile sing a cappella
at you every Sunday… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

If you had a pedophile sing a cappella at you every Sunday…...

So I found out… I did a DNA test, right?
One of those online DNA tests. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

So I found out… I did a DNA test, right? One of those online...

- Same!
- Never lived in Ireland. Yes, high-five! - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

- Same! - Never lived in Ireland. Yes, high-five!

This is a testimony
to the power of sectarianism in Scotland. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

This is a testimony to the power of sectarianism in Scotland...

It's just Catholics inbreedin'
with Catholics again and again and again. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It's just Catholics inbreedin' with Catholics agai...

Faces gettin' hairier
with each generation. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Faces gettin' hairier with each generation.

I've never been happier not to be British.
I was delighted not to be British. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I've never been happier not to be British. I was deligh...

I'm only 1.7% British, and to be honest, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'm only 1.7% British, and to be honest,

Uh, I've been tryin'
to go to the gym a lot, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Uh, I've been tryin' to go to the gym a lot,

And, uh, I got banned
from my local gym in London - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

And, uh, I got banned from my local gym in London

I feel like wearin' a T-shirt that says, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I feel like wearin' a T-shirt that says,

I have to save up my gym visits
for when I go on tour to Scotland, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I have to save up my gym visits for when I go on tour to Sco...

Just… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

There is no Scottish man will dare tell me - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

There is no Scottish man will dare tell me

The only men in Scottish gyms look like
they've been referred there by their GPs - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

The only men in Scottish gyms look like they've been re...

I'm a very health-conscious person, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'm a very health-conscious person,

"I'm so old. I'm so depressed
to be doin' this show, and I'm so old." - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

"I'm so old. I'm so depressed to be doin'...

I could just see your little… little
gray face goin', "That's no age at all!" - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I could just see your little… little gray face goin', &...

I'm sorry, I know it's not too old, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'm sorry, I know it's not too old,

Your life isn't gonna look exactly
the way you always pictured it to look. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Your life isn't gonna look exactly the way you always p...

'Cause I really always
pictured myself to be, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

'Cause I really always pictured myself to be,

I truly thought I was gonna have attended
one of them by this point in my life. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I truly thought I was gonna have attended one of them by thi...

It's not that I'm not gonna attend an orgy
now I'm in my mid to late thirties. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It's not that I'm not gonna attend an orgy now I&#...

More that the quality of my orgy invite
starts to decline pretty rapidly - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

More that the quality of my orgy invite starts to decline pr...

It's gonna be a grimy swingers' event - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It's gonna be a grimy swingers' event

I just know that the train gets better
when they all get off. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I just know that the train gets better when they all get off...

"I don't feel frightened now!" - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

"I don't feel frightened now!"

Some chubby plumber's
gonna serve me bacon Frazzles, not… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Some chubby plumber's gonna serve me bacon Frazzles, no...

I'll have to nosh him off.
I'll give him a gobble. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'll have to nosh him off. I'll give him a gobble.

I'll do it gratefully,
with my sagging, aged face - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'll do it gratefully, with my sagging, aged face

That's what hard about this age. Your face
starts to get too baggy for your skull. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

That's what hard about this age. Your face starts to ge...

More and more of my selfies
have to be taken at this angle - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

More and more of my selfies have to be taken at this angle

I'm sorry if that makes
any of youse uncomfortable, uh, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I'm sorry if that makes any of youse uncomfortable, uh,

Didn't have to worry about what those guys
were up to, 'cause they were just… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Didn't have to worry about what those guys were up to, ...

And I had a thought that disturbed me,
and I thought, "Hey, I've got money now." - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

And I had a thought that disturbed me, and I thought, "...

I used to feel bad
saying I was a lap dancer - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I used to feel bad saying I was a lap dancer

I kinda always feel
older people in the audience goin', - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I kinda always feel older people in the audience goin',

Yeah! I'll say "strip club" to you, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Yeah! I'll say "strip club" to you,

So, anyway, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I like to think of them
reminiscing to each other - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I like to think of them reminiscing to each other

Like that old woman
at the start of Titanic that's just… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Like that old woman at the start of Titanic that's just...

That was the plot of Titanic. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

That was the plot of Titanic.

"Who cares, man? He was poor!" - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

"Who cares, man? He was poor!"

Two old ladies. "Do you remember, Eileen, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Two old ladies. "Do you remember, Eileen,

Hey, sometimes audiences think
I've made that Gaddafi bit up - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Hey, sometimes audiences think I've made that Gaddafi b...

I met his nephews
that night in Big Daddy O's. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I met his nephews that night in Big Daddy O's.

Big Daddy O's, now a Mexican restaurant - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Big Daddy O's, now a Mexican restaurant

Anyway, now I'm in my twilight years, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Anyway, now I'm in my twilight years,

'Cause I get told
that I seem confident onstage, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

'Cause I get told that I seem confident onstage,

But if you're a woman
who likes walkin' at night, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

But if you're a woman who likes walkin' at night,

It really gets in the way
of the de-stressin' part. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It really gets in the way of the de-stressin' part.

I feel like you guys are like, "No,
we don't think like that all the time." - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I feel like you guys are like, "No, we don't think...

Uh, number one, I have a father - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Uh, number one, I have a father

Uh… I know that parents worry a lot,
but hear me out. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Uh… I know that parents worry a lot, but hear me out.

Any time I phone my dad on a walk,
the first thing he says to me is… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Any time I phone my dad on a walk, the first thing he says t...

Statistically, you're so much more likely - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Statistically, you're so much more likely

Secondly, uh, my dad, uh
has been this way since I was five. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Secondly, uh, my dad, uh has been this way since I was five.

On my first day of school, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

On my first day of school,

They've already overcome so many taboos
in becoming child kidnappers. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

They've already overcome so many taboos in becoming chi...

I feel like me going, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I feel like me going,

And the other reason that I'm frightened… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

And the other reason that I'm frightened…

Uh, I've given it… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Uh, I've given it…

I think, after ten years, it's safe to say - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I think, after ten years, it's safe to say

Like, it's just… - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Like, it's just…

It's nothing like
the London I saw on the TV growing up. - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

It's nothing like the London I saw on the TV growing up...

I blame, uh,
the Richard Curtis universe of films, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I blame, uh, the Richard Curtis universe of films,

I grew up watching films that were like, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

I grew up watching films that were like,

Instead, I live in a part of London
called, uh, Lewisham, - Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen

Instead, I live in a part of London called, uh, Lewisham,

Fern Brady: Autistic Bikini Queen poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

The irreverent Scottish comedian tackles big themes like death, decline and the disappointments of middle age in her stand-up special filmed in Bristol.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Phoebe Bourke

Writer: Fern Brady

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2024

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 6.5

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 22 Apr 2024

Awards: N/A

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