There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen......

[calling the police about an intruder] Jeannie: There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen... M-my-my-my name is Bueller... [pause] Jeannie: Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother is feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body. I don't want it violated or killed, all right? I need help! Speaka de English? DICKHEAD!

Look, this... This is not a phony phone call. There is an intruder, male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird, in my kitchen. Yeah, my, my... My name's Bueller. It's real nice that you hope my brother's feeling better, but I'm in danger, okay? I am very cute. I am very alone. And I'm very protective of my body. I do not want it violated, or killed, all right? I need help! Speak-a de English? Dickhead. God. Excuse me. Whoever's in the house is still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the police. So if you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house real quick. I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun and a scorching case of herpes.