So not only yesterday do I find out I'm adopted. The people I've been calling "Mom" and...
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Quote
Nick Brady:
[trying to talk his way out of football camp]
So not only yesterday do I find out I'm adopted. The people I've been calling "Mom" and "Dad" are actually two infertile impostors who bought me outside of a meth clinic in Cincinatti for two boxes of Sudafed, but I also get this news dropped on me - my birth father, Bruce... well he needs a kidney and I'm the only match and apparently Bruce needs it "stat". Mmm-hmm. You need it stat, Bruce? Huh? Well maybe I needed a father stat instead of my stay-at-home dad who showers me with love everyday of his life, this goddamn spermless liar!
[pause]
Nick Brady:
So now I have to be at Kaiser Permanente at 6 a.m. tomorrow. I know, Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital... managed care. Ironic, isn't it? He never *managed* to care for me.
Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.063
So not only do I find out yesterday I'm adopted
00:00:03.008 --> 00:00:06.008
the people I've called mom and dad are infertile imposters
00:00:06.097 --> 00:00:10.007
who bought me outside a meth clinic for two boxes of Sudafed
00:00:10.024 --> 00:00:12.058
but I also get this news dropped on me
00:00:12.091 --> 00:00:15.044
My birth father Bruce
00:00:16.012 --> 00:00:18.098
well he needs a kidney and I'm the only match
00:00:19.019 --> 00:00:21.025
And apparently Bruce needs it stat
00:00:21.092 --> 00:00:24.039
You need it stat Bruce Huh
00:00:24.059 --> 00:00:27.032
I needed a father stat instead of the stay at home dad
00:00:27.049 --> 00:00:30.083
who showers me with love every day this goddamn spermless liar
00:00:32.027 --> 00:00:35.026
So now I gotta be at Kaiser Permanente tomorrow at 6 a m
00:00:35.047 --> 00:00:38.087
I know Bruce couldn't even afford a real hospital
00:00:39.007 --> 00:00:41.007
Managed care It's ironic huh
00:00:42.031 --> 00:00:44.999
Never managed to care for me
Clip duration: 45 seconds
Views: 161
Timestamp in movie: 00h 15m 54s
Uploaded: 02 December, 2022
Genres: comedy, sport
Summary: The two most popular guys in high school decide to ditch football camp for cheerleader camp. For the girls and for the glory.
Comments
Actors
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00:12 Will you shut up All right I'm too straight to be gay
00:09 Breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long
00:05 Panthers out
00:10 That was for the Crocs
00:37 Name name I need a name Jennifer
00:07 Awesome song Chumbawamba It's the soundtrack to my life...
00:07 That's prohibidado
00:09 You know what John Lennon said Not really I'm not in my...
00:04 Wonder if her carpet matches my drapes
00:09 What's up Dick It's Rick Dr Rick
00:06 So what are you doing later
00:13 Yeah I know it's the most beautiful name you've...
00:27 Tell you what I'll teach you some basic cheerleader...
00:17 How'd you two crazy kids meet Rick It's a funny...
00:23 Yeah What makes this girl so great bro
00:34 You're dumping me for him
00:32 Tell you what man that'd be the place to be
00:34 Look at that little hottie Wonder what she wants to do with...
00:35 Why didn't you tell me you're gay I'd have...