God, I'm horny

Ted:

You broke up with "BJ" Betty? Jimmy:
So to speak. And would you lay off her? She's all right! Ted:
I'll say she's all right. That girl wanted to be treated right! You should have treated her *right*! Jimmy:
I did! I treated her right! I treated her right, that's what's driving me so crazy. I mean, first she would tell me to call because she had something else she needed to do. Then she wouldn't even take my calls! I mean, can you figure that? What the fuck happened? Ted:
Let me put it into the ol' computer. Jimmy:
No, Ted, I'm serious. Ted:
Hey, the computer don't lie. Let's see... [imitates using a computer, pauses, then smiles] Jimmy:
What? Ted:
It says... it says you're a dead fuck. Jimmy:
What? A dead fuck? Ted:
A lousy lay, you know... [limps his wrist] Ted:
A limp dick. Jimmy:
Oh! Don't hold back on me, doc, give it to me straight! Ted:
I did not say it; the computer did! Jimmy:
Yeah, well, there is no computer! Ted:
Aha! And there's no Betty, either. Jimmy:
And I'm A dead fuck? Ted:
Like I said, the computer don't lie. Jimmy:
[sighs]
God, I'm horny