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"Funny People" quotes

Funny People poster
When seasoned comedian George Simmons learns of his terminal, inoperable health condition, his desire to form a genuine friendship causes him to take a relatively green performer under his wing as his opening act.

Director: Judd Apatow
Writer: Judd Apatow
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, drama
Year: 2009
MetaScore: 60/100
ImdbRating: 6.3
BoxOffice: $51,855,045
Released: 31 Jul 2009
Awards: 3 nominations

64 video clips

EminemIra WrightRay RomanoGeorge SimmonsDr. LarsLauraLeo KoenigJames TaylorIngridDawnMableTom AndersonClarkeMark Taylor JacksonDeli ManagerChuckBonita
Everyone in this fucking room is either staring at us - Funny People 00:49 Everyone in this fucking room is either staring at us You know what I think you fucked up - Funny People 00:39 You know what I think you fucked up I was hot - Funny People 00:17 I was hot And there was this one candle next to his bed - Funny People 00:27 And there was this one candle next to his bed So then what are we celebrating - Funny People 00:04 So then what are we celebrating Hey I saw the new Harry Potter movie - Funny People 00:13 Hey I saw the new Harry Potter movie I'm sick of rap songs telling me what to do - Funny People 00:22 I'm sick of rap songs telling me what to do I masturbate so much with hand cream - Funny People 00:12 I masturbate so much with hand cream Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs you know over and over - Funny People 00:11 Do you ever get tired of singing the same songs you know... One of my roommates told me he was Joe Pesci's son - Funny People 00:06 One of my roommates told me he was Joe Pesci's son Fuck Facebook - Funny People 00:03 Fuck Facebook You know what I think you fucked up - Funny People 00:12 You know what I think you fucked up So it looks like you're blowing me when I'm fucking you in the ass you jerk - Funny People 00:05 So it looks like you're blowing me when I'm... Come on Do MerMan Do the MerMan call - Funny People 00:05 Come on Do MerMan Do the MerMan call You guys like this show - Funny People 00:07 You guys like this show Yeah do you actually use MySpace - Funny People 00:09 Yeah do you actually use MySpace Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever sleep with you again - Funny People 00:18 Is your act just designed to make sure no girl will ever... You know what Ira I want to put my eyeglasses on your asshole - Funny People 00:07 You know what Ira I want to put my eyeglasses on your... Thank you - Funny People 00:12 Thank you Are you mad that you died at the end of Die Hard - Funny People 00:04 Are you mad that you died at the end of Die Hard I'll put you on speakerphone That will be the best night of my life - Funny People 00:05 I'll put you on speakerphone That will be the best... Yep If you put cute kitten in the title of your YouTube video - Funny People 00:17 Yep If you put cute kitten in the title of your YouTube... Your friend Is that your friend The fatter version of you - Funny People 00:06 Your friend Is that your friend The fatter version of you I don't get it man What's going on - Funny People 00:06 I don't get it man What's going on I mean you can write jokes for me too - Funny People 00:03 I mean you can write jokes for me too I'm scared for all of you guys - Funny People 00:15 I'm scared for all of you guys What I'm about to tell you because George He doesn't want to jinx it - Funny People 00:05 What I'm about to tell you because George He... All right you can have anything in here - Funny People 00:13 All right you can have anything in here All you fucking talk about is jacking off and farting - Funny People 00:05 All you fucking talk about is jacking off and farting How are you I brought my friend - Funny People 00:03 How are you I brought my friend Daniel Day Lewis would've crushed that speech - Funny People 00:04 Daniel Day Lewis would've crushed that speech You're my closest friend and I don't even like you - Funny People 00:05 You're my closest friend and I don't even like you 'cause your grandfather's playing backgammon with Hitler right now - Funny People 00:05 'cause your grandfather's playing backgammon with... How did he Like how did he know he had it - Funny People 00:36 How did he Like how did he know he had it Yippee ki yay motherfucker - Funny People 00:04 Yippee ki yay motherfucker He's really funny - Funny People 00:07 He's really funny What are you doing here - Funny People 00:19 What are you doing here You go in there and you don't have to talk to each other - Funny People 00:04 You go in there and you don't have to talk to each... Don't you put me in this corner where I have to fuck my way out - Funny People 00:07 Don't you put me in this corner where I have to fuck my... I'm not worried about that I just want you to be okay - Funny People 00:08 I'm not worried about that I just want you to be okay Why don't you go cup George Simmons' balls - Funny People 00:03 Why don't you go cup George Simmons' balls What if I lived with you know James McAvoy or Jude Law or something - Funny People 00:06 What if I lived with you know James McAvoy or Jude Law or... It's always going up to the roof - Funny People 00:21 It's always going up to the roof George people care about you - Funny People 00:06 George people care about you What I'm about to tell you because George He doesn't want to jinx it - Funny People 00:05 What I'm about to tell you because George He... I don't have that in my DNA That's not a friend man - Funny People 00:06 I don't have that in my DNA That's not a friend... I'll give you 50 000 - Funny People 00:17 I'll give you 50 000 I don't love them I never know what to do with my hands You know - Funny People 00:06 I don't love them I never know what to do with my hands... You're my best friend - Funny People 00:06 You're my best friend I don't want to speak too soon - Funny People 00:11 I don't want to speak too soon This is my friend George And this is Ira - Funny People 00:06 This is my friend George And this is Ira So don't say anything - Funny People 00:03 So don't say anything Okay don't say ASAP either - Funny People 00:04 Okay don't say ASAP either But it's just not the same - Funny People 00:05 But it's just not the same George Simmons soon will be gone - Funny People 00:23 George Simmons soon will be gone I would let you do that too My balls are for everybody - Funny People 00:06 I would let you do that too My balls are for everybody Am I not allowed to be happy or something - Funny People 00:25 Am I not allowed to be happy or something I can give you my fax number and my e mail - Funny People 00:41 I can give you my fax number and my e mail You'll never be happy 'cause you're always gonna be stuck with yourself - Funny People 00:11 You'll never be happy 'cause you're always... The more money you make the more free shit they give you - Funny People 00:05 The more money you make the more free shit they give you How does the softball team at MySpace work - Funny People 00:07 How does the softball team at MySpace work And they offered him a part on Yo Teach And he took it - Funny People 00:05 And they offered him a part on Yo Teach And he took it Fuck Facebook in the face - Funny People 00:04 Fuck Facebook in the face You wanna fuck these girls - Funny People 00:07 You wanna fuck these girls

Cast

George Simmons - Adam Sandler
Ira Wright - Seth Rogen
Laura - Leslie Mann
Clarke - Eric Bana
Leo Koenig - Jonah Hill
All Cast