Join the conversation
Log in or create an account to leave a comment
Log In
George Carlin:
Another nice thing about getting old is you can leave any social event early just by saying you're tired. [laughter] George Carlin:
Works great with family members. Just turn to the person next to you and you say "Gee, I'm getting tired, you know." [as family member] George Carlin:
"Oh, you're tired? Come on, grandpa's tired, grandpa's going to bed." And someone else says "But it's seven thirty in the morning!" [laughter] George Carlin:
There's always one asshole in the family. But the best thing about getting old is you're not responsible for remembering things anymore. Even important things; "But it was your daughter's funeral!" [laughter] George Carlin:
"I forgot!" [laughter] George Carlin:
You can even make believe you have Alzheimer's Disease. That's a lot of fun. You look around the dining room table and you say "Who are you people and where is my horse?" [laughter] George Carlin:
Then you stare at your eldest son and say "Agnes! I haven't seen you since First Communion!" [laughter]
Another nice thing about getting old is you can leave any social event early just by saying you're tired. [laughter] George Carlin:
Works great with family members. Just turn to the person next to you and you say "Gee, I'm getting tired, you know." [as family member] George Carlin:
"Oh, you're tired? Come on, grandpa's tired, grandpa's going to bed." And someone else says "But it's seven thirty in the morning!" [laughter] George Carlin:
There's always one asshole in the family. But the best thing about getting old is you're not responsible for remembering things anymore. Even important things; "But it was your daughter's funeral!" [laughter] George Carlin:
"I forgot!" [laughter] George Carlin:
You can even make believe you have Alzheimer's Disease. That's a lot of fun. You look around the dining room table and you say "Who are you people and where is my horse?" [laughter] George Carlin:
Then you stare at your eldest son and say "Agnes! I haven't seen you since First Communion!" [laughter]
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.046
Another nice thing about getting old is
00:00:02.585 --> 00:00:05.046
you can leave any social event early
00:00:05.171 --> 00:00:08.999
just by saying you're tired
00:00:09.342 --> 00:00:11.761
Works great with family members
00:00:11.886 --> 00:00:13.263
Just turn to the person next to you and say
00:00:13.388 --> 00:00:15.932
Geez I'm getting tired you know
00:00:16.999 --> 00:00:17.058
Oh are you tired Come on
00:00:17.183 --> 00:00:19.999
Grandpa's tired Grandpa's going to bed
00:00:19.185 --> 00:00:19.936
Someone else says
00:00:20.061 --> 00:00:23.523
But it's 7 30 in the morning
00:00:23.069 --> 00:00:26.943
There's always one asshole in the family
00:00:27.001 --> 00:00:29.237
But the best thing about getting old is
00:00:29.362 --> 00:00:33.366
you're not responsible for remembering things anymore
00:00:33.491 --> 00:00:35.368
even important things
00:00:35.493 --> 00:00:37.787
But it was your daughter's funeral
00:00:41.916 --> 00:00:44.294
I forgot
00:00:44.669 --> 00:00:47.672
You can even make believe you have Alzheimer's disease
00:00:47.797 --> 00:00:49.466
Ah it's a lot of fun
00:00:49.591 --> 00:00:51.426
You look around the dining room table and you say
00:00:51.551 --> 00:00:56.306
Who are you people and where is my horse
00:00:56.431 --> 00:00:58.683
Then you stare at your eldest son and say
00:00:58.808 --> 00:01:02.353
Agnes I haven't seen you since first communion
Want This Clip in HD?
Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →
Movie Summary
It's Bad For Ya, Carlin's Emmy-nominated 14th and final HBO special from March of 2008 features Carlin's noted irreverent and unapologetic observations on topics ranging from death, religion, bureaucracy, patriotism, overprotected...