Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol? Gee, I think all I got is...

Woman at Party: [coming up to Louis during party] Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol? Louis: [opening cabinet] Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice... [takes platter back into living room] Louis: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. [walks up to a hapless guest, speaking confidentially] Louis: I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that's why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin' a good time, Mark? [heads across the room, greeting other guests] Louis: How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature! [to the Tall Woman] Louis: You think it's too warm in here for the brie? Tall Woman at Party: [standing] Louis, I'm going home. Louis: Aw, don't leave yet. Well, listen, maybe if we start dancing other people will join in! Tall Woman at Party: [pauses] Okay! [Louis and the Tall Woman begin disco dancing. Suddenly the doorbell rings] Louis: Oh, don't move, I just gotta get the door. [opens door, greeting guests] Louis: Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come, how you doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent. [throws the guests' coats in the closet, oblivious that they hit the demon Vinz Clortho hiding there] Louis: So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi? [Vinz Clortho growls from inside the bedroom] Louis: [grinning] Okay, who brought the dog?