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I told you to your face
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What would you have said to her? I don't know. That I was sorry. That I will never know...

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Valerie: [about Daisy] What would you have said to her? Susanna: I don't know. That I was sorry. That I will never know what it was like to be her. But I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. You hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. Valerie: Susanna, it's all well and good to tell me all this; but you gotta tell some of this to your doctors. Susanna: How the hell am I supposed to recover when I don't even understand my disease? Valerie: But you do understand it. You spoke very clearly about it a second ago. But I think what you've gotta do is put it down. Put it away. Put it in your notebook, but get it out of yourself. Away so you can't curl up with it anymore. Susanna: Lisa thinks it's a gift. That it lets you see the truth. Valerie: Lisa's been here for eight years. Susanna: [crying] I'm so sorry. I was a bitch. I was a bitch. Valerie: Don't drop anchor here, you understand? Susanna: [narrating] When you don't want to feel, death can seem like a dream. But seeing death, really seeing it, makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous. Maybe, there's a moment growing up when something peels back... Maybe, maybe, we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds... [overlapping words] Susanna: All I know is that I began to feel things again. Whatever I was, I knew there was only one way back to the world and that was to use the place to talk. So I saw the great and wonderful Dr. Wick three times a week and I let her hear every thought in my head.


Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.991
I told you to your face
00:00:03.024 --> 00:00:07.233
I told Daisy what everybody knew and wouldn't say and she killed herself
00:00:07.044 --> 00:00:09.032
I played the fucking villain
00:00:09.028 --> 00:00:10.315
Just like you wanted
00:00:10.056 --> 00:00:11.993
Why would I want that
00:00:13.052 --> 00:00:15.075
Because it makes you the good guy sweet pea
00:00:15.096 --> 00:00:19.953
You come back here all sweetness and light and sad and contrite
00:00:20.016 --> 00:00:24.079
and everybody wrings their hands congratulating you on your bravery
00:00:25.024 --> 00:00:29.518
Meanwhile I'm blowing guys at the bus station for money
00:00:30.012 --> 00:00:31.553
Stop it Lisa She's too
00:00:31.008 --> 00:00:32.994
Shut up Polly

Clip duration: 34 seconds
Views: 424
Timestamp in movie: 01h 47m 50s
Uploaded: 02 April, 2022
Genres: biography, drama
Summary: Based on writer Susanna Kaysen's account of her 18-month stay at a mental hospital in the late 1960s.


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