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Absolutely disgusting.
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Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast

Absolutely disgusting." She sent me a text the next day, which I'm gonna keep on my...

Absolutely disgusting." She sent me a text the next day, which I'm gonna keep on my phone
for the rest of my life. Wanna see it?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.044
Absolutely disgusting."
00:00:03.028 --> 00:00:04.076
She sent me a text the next day,
00:00:04.084 --> 00:00:07.052
which I'm gonna keep on my phone for the rest of my life. Wanna see it?
Duration
8 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:06:51
Uploaded
Jun 27, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Avalon Television

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Movie Summary

British comedian Greg Davies revisits terrifying dates, manscaping disasters, his father's pranks and more in a savagely funny stand-up special.
I'd prefer it if you wouldn't do that vibrator routine in your show. - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:04
I'd prefer it if you wouldn't do that vibrator rou...
When you ignore this and do it anyway, at least make it clear to your audiences - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:08
When you ignore this and do it anyway, at least make it clea...
But it must have got to me, 'cause I found myself thinking, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:07
But it must have got to me, 'cause I found myself think...
A nice story I can tell about my mom - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:10
A nice story I can tell about my mom
When I was eight years of age, just eight, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:08
When I was eight years of age, just eight,
Not the six-foot-eight monstrosity you see before you, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:06
Not the six-foot-eight monstrosity you see before you,
I went past Clinton Cards, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:06
I went past Clinton Cards,
And stringy old eight-year-old Greg, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:09
And stringy old eight-year-old Greg,
Long toy for a long boy." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:15
Long toy for a long boy."
Santa can't afford it this year." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:10
Santa can't afford it this year."
I'd met him the year before. I was sharing a room with my sister. - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:04
I'd met him the year before. I was sharing a room with ...
When I said, "Hello, Santa," he told me to piss off in a woman's voice. - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:04
When I said, "Hello, Santa," he told me to piss of...
But I thought, "Fair enough, she can't afford it." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:05
But I thought, "Fair enough, she can't afford it.&...
Now, it obviously got to her, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:04
Now, it obviously got to her,
We think we can make you a giant bear." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:11
We think we can make you a giant bear."
That sounds shit." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:14
That sounds shit."
Project's coming on." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:07
Project's coming on."
"Blue Ted." - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:04
"Blue Ted."
-Would you like to meet him? -[cheering] - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:04
-Would you like to meet him? -[cheering]
Oh, incidentally, I don't know the last time you watched ET, - Greg Davies: You Magnificent Beast 00:11
Oh, incidentally, I don't know the last time you watche...