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"Grumpy Old Men" quotes

Grumpy Old Men poster
A lifelong feud between two neighbors since childhood only gets worse when a new female neighbor moves across the street.

Director: Donald Petrie
Writer: Mark Steven Johnson
Production: N/A
Year: 1993
MetaScore: 53/100
ImdbRating: 7.0
BoxOffice: $70,172,621
Released: 25 Dec 1993
Awards: 1 win & 1 nomination
Like a damned catfish Well I've had a lot on my mind lately - Grumpy Old Men 00:13 Like a damned catfish Well I've had a lot on my mind... Did you hear about Eddie Hicks - Grumpy Old Men 00:21 Did you hear about Eddie Hicks You know you can tell a lot about a person from his bathroom - Grumpy Old Men 00:19 You know you can tell a lot about a person from his bathroom CHUCK Ha ha Can I get you something - Grumpy Old Men 00:30 CHUCK Ha ha Can I get you something I have to talk to you - Grumpy Old Men 01:06 I have to talk to you Holy moly - Grumpy Old Men 00:07 Holy moly Damn kids - Grumpy Old Men 00:11 Damn kids All the ideas that you brought to those young minds - Grumpy Old Men 00:18 All the ideas that you brought to those young minds Hey Drop that fish - Grumpy Old Men 00:06 Hey Drop that fish Hey watch your mouth you dumb frigging Swede - Grumpy Old Men 00:06 Hey watch your mouth you dumb frigging Swede Can't live with them - Grumpy Old Men 00:06 Can't live with them Very interesting woman - Grumpy Old Men 00:17 Very interesting woman And then you begin to count the minutes rather than the days - Grumpy Old Men 00:40 And then you begin to count the minutes rather than the days It was an awakening - Grumpy Old Men 00:17 It was an awakening That's not just a woman living across your street - Grumpy Old Men 00:12 That's not just a woman living across your street She chose me She did - Grumpy Old Men 00:09 She chose me She did We did the horizontal mambo - Grumpy Old Men 00:06 We did the horizontal mambo Up yours Gustafson - Grumpy Old Men 00:05 Up yours Gustafson Gay or straight - Grumpy Old Men 00:22 Gay or straight Ohh you don't know a damn things about me - Grumpy Old Men 00:14 Ohh you don't know a damn things about me Cold enough for ya - Grumpy Old Men 00:10 Cold enough for ya Hey dickhead you win the lottery - Grumpy Old Men 00:06 Hey dickhead you win the lottery When was the last time you made love - Grumpy Old Men 00:28 When was the last time you made love Did you mount her Oh Dad - Grumpy Old Men 00:20 Did you mount her Oh Dad Gotta use  hot  water - Grumpy Old Men 00:06 Gotta use hot water Moron Putz - Grumpy Old Men 00:05 Moron Putz Who's the guy yakkin' at your door - Grumpy Old Men 00:18 Who's the guy yakkin' at your door Hey dickhead you win the lottery - Grumpy Old Men 00:10 Hey dickhead you win the lottery Pretty damn fast Yeah - Grumpy Old Men 00:08 Pretty damn fast Yeah I'd have asked for another million - Grumpy Old Men 00:12 I'd have asked for another million Your cat crapped on my steps again - Grumpy Old Men 00:11 Your cat crapped on my steps again And these two little guys - Grumpy Old Men 00:34 And these two little guys I hit the cans again - Grumpy Old Men 00:11 I hit the cans again You know what Jacob said - Grumpy Old Men 00:34 You know what Jacob said You mean the low life - Grumpy Old Men 00:34 You mean the low life Do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and swallow - Grumpy Old Men 00:07 Do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and... But I don't want to die looking at your ugly face - Grumpy Old Men 00:20 But I don't want to die looking at your ugly face I'm sure John started every fight since 1940 - Grumpy Old Men 00:10 I'm sure John started every fight since 1940 When I had my ulcers - Grumpy Old Men 00:14 When I had my ulcers Morning dickhead Hello moron - Grumpy Old Men 00:05 Morning dickhead Hello moron I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing - Grumpy Old Men 00:09 I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing I was married to the woman for 20 years - Grumpy Old Men 00:28 I was married to the woman for 20 years You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes - Grumpy Old Men 00:09 You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes Looks like Chuck's taking old one eye to the optometrist - Grumpy Old Men 00:08 Looks like Chuck's taking old one eye to the... Did you mount her - Grumpy Old Men 00:20 Did you mount her

Cast

John Gustafson - Jack Lemmon
Max Goldman - Walter Matthau
Ariel Truax - Ann-Margret
Grandpa Gustafson - Burgess Meredith
Melanie - Daryl Hannah