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"Half Baked" quotes

Half Baked poster
The story of three not so bright men who come up with a series of crazy schemes to get a friend out of jail.

Director: Tamra Davis
Writer: Dave Chappelle, Neal Brennan
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, crime
Year: 1998
MetaScore: 16/100
ImdbRating: 6.6
BoxOffice: $17,460,020
Released: 16 Jan 1998
Awards: N/A
L love you too - Half Baked 00:05 L love you too Yes l'm sexy - Half Baked 00:12 Yes l'm sexy All we gotta do is raise ten percent of one million yo - Half Baked 00:12 All we gotta do is raise ten percent of one million yo L've heard people say they don't get high the first time they smoke - Half Baked 00:14 L've heard people say they don't get high the... L'm Cuban B Yes Cuban B - Half Baked 00:13 L'm Cuban B Yes Cuban B And Smoka Lot opened up to me like l was Barbara Walters lt was ridiculous - Half Baked 00:27 And Smoka Lot opened up to me like l was Barbara Walters lt... Samson this is Sheila Mama fell - Half Baked 00:11 Samson this is Sheila Mama fell You see it was the summer before ninth grade - Half Baked 00:37 You see it was the summer before ninth grade Abba Zabba - Half Baked 00:17 Abba Zabba Did you ever see the back of a 20 bill on weed - Half Baked 00:17 Did you ever see the back of a 20 bill on weed Hey what day is it Saturday - Half Baked 00:13 Hey what day is it Saturday L'm gonna take your little Mexican friend with me - Half Baked 00:13 L'm gonna take your little Mexican friend with me Fuck you Fuck you - Half Baked 00:14 Fuck you Fuck you Bail is set at one million dollars for the crime of killing an officer of the law - Half Baked 00:11 Bail is set at one million dollars for the crime of killing... What happened man - Half Baked 00:31 What happened man Yo this shit must be good B - Half Baked 00:07 Yo this shit must be good B Now that's a titty Fully man - Half Baked 00:09 Now that's a titty Fully man And then you got your straight up potheads Ooh - Half Baked 00:13 And then you got your straight up potheads Ooh You can get the stuff at little corner stores called bodegas - Half Baked 00:11 You can get the stuff at little corner stores called bodegas Lf you ever need a guinea pig let me know - Half Baked 00:09 Lf you ever need a guinea pig let me know The money we do have is not for spending - Half Baked 00:23 The money we do have is not for spending This horse is a diabetic - Half Baked 00:06 This horse is a diabetic Eleven days Thurgood l'm as good as skewered - Half Baked 00:09 Eleven days Thurgood l'm as good as skewered L got some booty l got some booty l got some booty - Half Baked 00:09 L got some booty l got some booty l got some booty What do you want Master Bitch you know what l want - Half Baked 00:19 What do you want Master Bitch you know what l want The shiz nittle bam snip snap sack - Half Baked 00:05 The shiz nittle bam snip snap sack My father's a drug dealer Wow that must've been the shit - Half Baked 00:10 My father's a drug dealer Wow that must've been... Jan will you be my girlfriend - Half Baked 00:15 Jan will you be my girlfriend Lf l wasn't Jamaican then why would l wear this hat Hmm - Half Baked 00:08 Lf l wasn't Jamaican then why would l wear this hat Hmm You got me You paying attention - Half Baked 00:05 You got me You paying attention L got some weed at work today if y'all wanna try it out - Half Baked 00:35 L got some weed at work today if y'all wanna try it out Oh l'm sorry y'all l don't want to be the first nigger to die from a crossbow - Half Baked 00:08 Oh l'm sorry y'all l don't want to be the... Guys shut up about the weed for two seconds l don't want this girl to know l smoke - Half Baked 00:12 Guys shut up about the weed for two seconds l don't... L didn't know it was a diabetic l'm scared - Half Baked 00:06 L didn't know it was a diabetic l'm scared Heifer with cheese You son of a bitch l'm right behind you - Half Baked 00:13 Heifer with cheese You son of a bitch l'm right behind... Would you like to hear some of my poetry Not really - Half Baked 00:30 Would you like to hear some of my poetry Not really We're fund raisers Well you said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace - Half Baked 00:14 We're fund raisers Well you said you gave Mary Jane a... No Naughty - Half Baked 00:08 No Naughty Hell back in the '60s we used to smoke that shit on the street - Half Baked 00:33 Hell back in the '60s we used to smoke that shit on the... Lt's really real - Half Baked 00:36 Lt's really real Why don't we sell that shit we smoked the other night yo - Half Baked 00:15 Why don't we sell that shit we smoked the other night... Well you know l be from Jamaica man Lord have mercy - Half Baked 00:13 Well you know l be from Jamaica man Lord have mercy Watch your back Fish 'cause Squirrel Master ain't gonna be there for you all the time - Half Baked 00:20 Watch your back Fish 'cause Squirrel Master ain't... L love horses l love horses - Half Baked 00:12 L love horses l love horses Abracadabra B - Half Baked 00:05 Abracadabra B The MacGyver smoker is a very handy guy to have around - Half Baked 00:27 The MacGyver smoker is a very handy guy to have around L'm not gonna do what everyone thinks l'm gonna do - Half Baked 00:20 L'm not gonna do what everyone thinks l'm gonna do So now we all live together in New York - Half Baked 00:12 So now we all live together in New York For 400 l got Jerry Garcia in a pouch man - Half Baked 00:19 For 400 l got Jerry Garcia in a pouch man You have smoked yourself retarded - Half Baked 00:05 You have smoked yourself retarded Now l don't do drugs though Just weed - Half Baked 00:05 Now l don't do drugs though Just weed His bad back Doctor said l need a backeotomy - Half Baked 00:05 His bad back Doctor said l need a backeotomy You guys gotta do something There's this guy Nasty Nate who's after my cocktail fruit - Half Baked 00:12 You guys gotta do something There's this guy Nasty Nate... Lady you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record - Half Baked 00:16 Lady you want seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record L love you too - Half Baked 00:10 L love you too Hey girl - Half Baked 00:12 Hey girl With some dip man - Half Baked 00:36 With some dip man Marijuana is not a drug - Half Baked 00:12 Marijuana is not a drug

Cast

Thurgood Jenkins - Dave Chappelle
Brian - Jim Breuer
Kenny Davis - Harland Williams
Mary Jane Potman - Rachel True