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Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Hank Green reflects on the good, the bad, and the weird parts of having cancer.

Director

Jonah Ray Rodrigues

Year

Genre

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N/A

Production

Dropout

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https://www.dropout.tv/hank-green-pissing-out-cancer

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(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

♪ He-mo-ni-mo, ba-doop bi-ga-boo-gee ♪ - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

♪ He-mo-ni-mo, ba-doop bi-ga-boo-gee ♪

And you're like, "What are you doing?" - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And you're like, "What are you doing?"

And you're like, okay, it's cute, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And you're like, okay, it's cute,

Your job is to cuddle, not chores. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Your job is to cuddle, not chores.

And then the healthcare
system goes back to being - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And then the healthcare system goes back to being

It took like 10 days before I
got the biopsy results back, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It took like 10 days before I got the biopsy results back,

I want to check and see
if it's healing well, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I want to check and see if it's healing well,

And then she says, and I called them, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And then she says, and I called them,

(Hank retches) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I had asked her to tell me
what she knew, and she did, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I had asked her to tell me what she knew, and she did,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

But I, in my job, regularly
know things and don't say them. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But I, in my job, regularly know things and don't say t...

(audience applauding) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience applauding)

I'm trying to tell this
young man that he has cancer, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I'm trying to tell this young man that he has cancer,

Oh, actually, that's helped
me figure out the key - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Oh, actually, that's helped me figure out the key

It was a normal doctor's
office with the little bed - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It was a normal doctor's office with the little bed

So I'm sitting on the crinkled paper - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I'm sitting on the crinkled paper

That's not the vibe right
now! And then she... - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's not the vibe right now! And then she...

The paper's there because in the 60s, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

The paper's there because in the 60s,

Is this a dentist? I don't
trust this, there's no... - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Is this a dentist? I don't trust this, there's no....

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Maybe the paper will
get thinner and thinner, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Maybe the paper will get thinner and thinner,

So I'm on the paper, and
she tells me some stuff, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I'm on the paper, and she tells me some stuff,

And 30 seconds later, I'm like, okay, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And 30 seconds later, I'm like, okay,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

But you also can't DoorDash Taco Bell - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But you also can't DoorDash Taco Bell

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Every new beginning comes from
some other beginning's end. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's e...

(audience clapping) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience clapping)

I didn't think my beginning
would be the beginning - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I didn't think my beginning would be the beginning

So I realize in this
moment that I'm still me. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I realize in this moment that I'm still me.

I just got told I might die, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I just got told I might die,

Is it going to be the right
time or the wrong? I don't know. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Is it going to be the right time or the wrong? I don't ...

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

I go downstairs and I sort
of enter into the universe - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I go downstairs and I sort of enter into the universe

I wanted to see something,
see a butterfly float by, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I wanted to see something, see a butterfly float by,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Human life is short. Different
shorts, but still short. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Human life is short. Different shorts, but still short.

I see, to the left, is
the worst road in my town. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I see, to the left, is the worst road in my town.

It's the one that has the
meat processing plant on it, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It's the one that has the meat processing plant on it,

So I look at the road, and
in between me and the road, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I look at the road, and in between me and the road,

I have this thing that I love so much - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I have this thing that I love so much

It lobs me up a thought, and
I don't know how this works, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It lobs me up a thought, and I don't know how this work...

And, like, me now, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And, like, me now,

It's never heard the giggle
of a child, or jazz music. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It's never heard the giggle of a child, or jazz music.

It's never heard the
noise that pigeons make, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It's never heard the noise that pigeons make,

But I'm in the office
park, I'm jealous of a cup, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But I'm in the office park, I'm jealous of a cup,

And I go see my wife,
and Katherine tells me - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And I go see my wife, and Katherine tells me

And then I have to call my mom. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And then I have to call my mom.

Sort of widely considered to be - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Sort of widely considered to be

And I call my mom, and
she picks up the phone, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And I call my mom, and she picks up the phone,

(audience laughs) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughs)

But then, quickly, I realize
that in fact what has happened - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But then, quickly, I realize that in fact what has happened

So I find myself in the
really weird position of, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I find myself in the really weird position of,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

The Roman Stoics believed... - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

The Roman Stoics believed...

The Roman Stoics believed
in the power of something - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

The Roman Stoics believed in the power of something

If you imagine terrible things happening, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

If you imagine terrible things happening,

You imagine the death of
your child so that you can - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

You imagine the death of your child so that you can

I just don't think that the Roman Stoics - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I just don't think that the Roman Stoics

They imagine the death of their
child, and then they imagine - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

They imagine the death of their child, and then they imagine

That's how moms fall asleep,
is they count child deaths, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's how moms fall asleep, is they count child deaths...

And this practicing
half of Roman Stoicism, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And this practicing half of Roman Stoicism,

I cried like a total
mess, and they all cried, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I cried like a total mess, and they all cried,

(audience applauding) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience applauding)

Then I have to tell my six year old son. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Then I have to tell my six year old son.

(audience aw-ing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience aw-ing)

He doesn't have all the baggage
that we have with cancer, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

He doesn't have all the baggage that we have with cance...

We finish up telling him
that I'm going to be sick, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

We finish up telling him that I'm going to be sick,

(audience applauding) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience applauding)

I'm fucking Hank Green.
(audience cheering) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I'm fucking Hank Green. (audience cheering)

That night, we get the
call from my surgeon, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That night, we get the call from my surgeon,

If you're going to get it,
and so I call my parents, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

If you're going to get it, and so I call my parents,

It's really touching. Very heartwarming. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It's really touching. Very heartwarming.

Do that other ways. Just tell
people you care about them. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Do that other ways. Just tell people you care about them.

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Find a person who you
think it would be super sad - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Find a person who you think it would be super sad

Just take a look and be
like, who's a person, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Just take a look and be like, who's a person,

Text them and tell them
how much you love them! - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Text them and tell them how much you love them!

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

So I go into the cancer center
and they give you paperwork - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I go into the cancer center and they give you paperwork

That's just to make you
feel good, that you're like, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's just to make you feel good, that you're lik...

And then the next page
starts off, it says, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And then the next page starts off, it says,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Visualize cutting my arm off. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Visualize cutting my arm off.

And the next question on the list says, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And the next question on the list says,

The cancer paperwork has
two suicide questions! - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

The cancer paperwork has two suicide questions!

They're like, yeah, you
don't want to do that, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

They're like, yeah, you don't want to do that,

And you're like, actually, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And you're like, actually,

Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Hank Green reflects on the good, the bad, and the weird parts of having cancer.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Jonah Ray Rodrigues

Writer: Ben Acker, Sarah Aswell, Hank Green

Production: Dropout

Genre: comedy

Year: 2024

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: N/A

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 21 Jun 2024

Awards: N/A

Homepage: https://www.dropout.tv/hank-green-pissing-out-cancer