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Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Hank Green reflects on the good, the bad, and the weird parts of having cancer.

Director

Jonah Ray Rodrigues

Year

Genre

Box Office

N/A

Production

Dropout

Awards

N/A

Homepage

https://www.dropout.tv/hank-green-pissing-out-cancer

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Explore 385 Clips

I don't see it.
(audience cheering) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I don't see it. (audience cheering)

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Like pee! Everybody in the room got it. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Like pee! Everybody in the room got it.

I was doing a show, and
there was a 10 year old - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I was doing a show, and there was a 10 year old

I just want to say to all
the people in the world - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I just want to say to all the people in the world

You just leave the chemo center - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

You just leave the chemo center

I don't know. And I'll shield
you from my poisoned semen! - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I don't know. And I'll shield you from my poisoned...

That's very kind of her, thoughtful, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's very kind of her, thoughtful,

One of them, we were
talking about earlier, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

One of them, we were talking about earlier,

So I go to a place called Scheels, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I go to a place called Scheels,

(audience laughs) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughs)

If you put it on a talk
show and it was a pundit, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

If you put it on a talk show and it was a pundit,

So I was shopping for pants, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I was shopping for pants,

Did I accidentally wear - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Did I accidentally wear

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Now I'm dealing with this
situation. Very upsetting. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Now I'm dealing with this situation. Very upsetting.

But I am me, and so I, again,
my brain tossed me this one. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But I am me, and so I, again, my brain tossed me this one.

It said, this is going to
be the best part of cancer. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It said, this is going to be the best part of cancer.

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Because he was over
here in discourse-ville, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Because he was over here in discourse-ville,

And I hate it, and I shouldn't,
but I do, and I know how. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And I hate it, and I shouldn't, but I do, and I know ho...

I was wearing a beanie, and
I got to take my beanie off. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I was wearing a beanie, and I got to take my beanie off.

It was in between bald and the 80 hairs - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It was in between bald and the 80 hairs

And I pull of my beanie,
and he's like, whoa! - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And I pull of my beanie, and he's like, whoa!

And I got to watch him
as he formed a memory. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And I got to watch him as he formed a memory.

(audience applauding) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience applauding)

These ones that we lay in
bed and we think about, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

These ones that we lay in bed and we think about,

I knew that if I was mean,
it would be better for him, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I knew that if I was mean, it would be better for him,

It was just the best strategy
for making it bad for him, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It was just the best strategy for making it bad for him,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

But I did shield him from my poison semen. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But I did shield him from my poison semen.

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Lucky enough to be able to get radiation, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Lucky enough to be able to get radiation,

So I go get radiation,
and my oncologist is like, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I go get radiation, and my oncologist is like,

I unfortunately did,
because I'm me, do the math, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I unfortunately did, because I'm me, do the math,

I was like, well, if you gave me - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I was like, well, if you gave me

That's not what I wanted to hear! - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's not what I wanted to hear!

You go every day, and you walk in, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

You go every day, and you walk in,

It's a room that is
structured in such a way - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It's a room that is structured in such a way

Labyrinths, not traditionally
great for protagonists, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Labyrinths, not traditionally great for protagonists,

If I got this level of
radiation exposure at work, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

If I got this level of radiation exposure at work,

(Hank beeps) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(Hank beeping) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Now they make electric
cars go like... (ululating) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Now they make electric cars go like... (ululating)

So I do the radiation, and then
I'm officially cancer free. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I do the radiation, and then I'm officially cancer f...

That's good. You can do that.
(audience cheering) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's good. You can do that. (audience cheering)

So, are there any Cancers in the audience? - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So, are there any Cancers in the audience?

This is the part of the show
where we all apologize to you - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

This is the part of the show where we all apologize to you

The names of the star signs, really, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

The names of the star signs, really,

In the beginning, they're
writing down the list, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

In the beginning, they're writing down the list,

That's also a cool animal.
We're making a cool animal list. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That's also a cool animal. We're making a cool ani...

Okay, fish. What about human twins? - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Okay, fish. What about human twins?

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

This is cool. I'm seeing... - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

This is cool. I'm seeing...

I'm going to call it Capricorn, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I'm going to call it Capricorn,

I want to do a goat fish! - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I want to do a goat fish!

No, like the device. I want
to do the device, scales. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

No, like the device. I want to do the device, scales.

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

So yeah, as a person
who tells people stuff - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So yeah, as a person who tells people stuff

Obviously, both comes from crab, but why? - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Obviously, both comes from crab, but why?

I promise not to hurt people on purpose, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I promise not to hurt people on purpose,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

I read the Hippocratic
Oath, the original one, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I read the Hippocratic Oath, the original one,

"Number one, don't hurt people
unless you have good reason." - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

"Number one, don't hurt people unless you have goo...

(accent) "Number three, do
not, under any circumstances, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(accent) "Number three, do not, under any circumstances...

So I looked that up, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

So I looked that up,

And that seems very weird
to us in the modern day, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

And that seems very weird to us in the modern day,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

"I am vampire, very bad guy." - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

"I am vampire, very bad guy."

"And I will call this disease carcinos, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

"And I will call this disease carcinos,

Current hippo, just big fat horse." - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Current hippo, just big fat horse."

It sucks, you're either
a disease or a bug fish, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It sucks, you're either a disease or a bug fish,

That is dope. It's a nice
little constellation prize. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

That is dope. It's a nice little constellation prize.

(audience laughing and applauding) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing and applauding)

There's a lot of things that people say - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

There's a lot of things that people say

I heard a lot of different things, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I heard a lot of different things,

But there's something,
a thing that I heard - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

But there's something, a thing that I heard

It goes like this. "How are you doing?" - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

It goes like this. "How are you doing?"

Jolena, can I use your name?
It's not, like, in a nice way. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Jolena, can I use your name? It's not, like, in a nice ...

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Jolena, there's a 5% chance - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Jolena, there's a 5% chance

My mom is a Roman Stoic,
and my dog is doing chores, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

My mom is a Roman Stoic, and my dog is doing chores,

I'm like a bunch of ants, and
one of my ants is named Trent, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

I'm like a bunch of ants, and one of my ants is named T...

Speaking of dick holes,
my penis hurts, Jolena. - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

Speaking of dick holes, my penis hurts, Jolena.

No, the last step on
the constipation journey - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

No, the last step on the constipation journey

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

When it finally happened, - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

When it finally happened,

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing) - Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer

(audience laughing)

Hank Green: Pissing Out Cancer poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Hank Green reflects on the good, the bad, and the weird parts of having cancer.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Jonah Ray Rodrigues

Writer: Ben Acker, Sarah Aswell, Hank Green

Production: Dropout

Genre: comedy

Year: 2024

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: N/A

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 21 Jun 2024

Awards: N/A

Homepage: https://www.dropout.tv/hank-green-pissing-out-cancer