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Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn

He's like, "What?" I'm like, "Do you wanna have a baby?" And he's like, "I kind ofwanna...

He's like, "What?" [exhales] I'm like, "Do you wanna have a baby?" And he's like, "I kind of
wanna travel for two to three years." And I'm like, "You're 47.
Where the fuck haven't you been?" You wanna go to Mars, Jeff Bezos?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.794
He's like, "What?" [exhales]
00:00:02.877 --> 00:00:05.171
I'm like, "Do you wanna have a baby?"
00:00:06.256 --> 00:00:09.509
And he's like, "I kind of wanna travel for two to three years."
00:00:10.593 --> 00:00:14.305
And I'm like, "You're 47. Where the fuck haven't you been?"
00:00:15.306 --> 00:00:17.142
You wanna go to Mars, Jeff Bezos?
Duration
18 seconds
Views
39
Timestamp in Movie
00:33:19
Uploaded
Apr 11, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

From marrying a zaddy to unrealistic sex scenes in movies, Hannah Berner unpacks romance, dating and more in this raunchy stand-up special.
I go, "You know what? Let's travel to Walgreens, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:17
I go, "You know what? Let's travel to Walgreens,
It's dark. It's haunted. It smells different. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
It's dark. It's haunted. It smells different.
You're always like… [sighs] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:48
You're always like… [sighs]
And then he tries to open it up and you're like, "Be quiet about it." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:26
And then he tries to open it up and you're like, "...
[sighs] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
[sighs]
He is-- he is deteriorating emotionally and physically, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
He is-- he is deteriorating emotionally and physically,
Like, before we got married, he really annoyed me - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
Like, before we got married, he really annoyed me
[audience cheering] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
[audience cheering]
Q-tip in your ear, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:10
Q-tip in your ear,
So, I ordered the burrata. I open it up. It's like… [squelches] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:23
So, I ordered the burrata. I open it up. It's like… [sq...
I'm like, "How do you even call an ambulance?" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
I'm like, "How do you even call an ambulance?"...
And he's like, "Can you just get the waitress?" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:14
And he's like, "Can you just get the waitress?&quo...
She starts calling. She's like, "911, a man needs 911!" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
She starts calling. She's like, "911, a man needs ...
He's loving the attention. He's like… [panting] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
He's loving the attention. He's like… [panting]
And I'm like, "Okay." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
And I'm like, "Okay."
So I was like, "Babe." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:18
So I was like, "Babe."
I'm like, "Thanks, Dad." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:15
I'm like, "Thanks, Dad."
He was having an amateur-hour panic attack. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
He was having an amateur-hour panic attack.
Now, as a hot girl, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
Now, as a hot girl,
I've had four panic attacks on stage tonight. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
I've had four panic attacks on stage tonight.