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I'd have to bribe him to do everything. I'd be like,
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Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn

I'd have to bribe him to do everything.I'd be like, "Jeremy." "If you finish your math...

I'd have to bribe him to do everything.
I'd be like, "Jeremy." "If you finish your math homework,
you get chocolate ice cream." He said, "Shut up, slut." I was like, "Jeremy, don't talk to me
like that, or you're gonna turn me on." We're having fun.
It's Saturday. We're having fun

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.087
I'd have to bribe him to do everything. I'd be like, "Jeremy."
00:00:05.171 --> 00:00:07.084
"If you finish your math homework, you get chocolate ice cream."
00:00:08.841 --> 00:00:09.925
He said, "Shut up, slut."
00:00:11.635 --> 00:00:14.638
I was like, "Jeremy, don't talk to me like that, or you're gonna turn me on."
00:00:14.722 --> 00:00:18.999
We're having fun. It's Saturday. We're having fun.
Duration
19 seconds
Views
32
Timestamp in Movie
00:41:19
Uploaded
Apr 11, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

From marrying a zaddy to unrealistic sex scenes in movies, Hannah Berner unpacks romance, dating and more in this raunchy stand-up special.
[laughs] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:12
[laughs]
You do? Do you like to be the big or small spoon? - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
You do? Do you like to be the big or small spoon?
Actually, as a girl, it's a lot more complicated - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
Actually, as a girl, it's a lot more complicated
Think about it. First, you have to get into a weird little fetal position, right? - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
Think about it. First, you have to get into a weird little f...
Then you have to move your hair, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
Then you have to move your hair,
You're like, "Hey!" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
You're like, "Hey!"
Gut check. [gasps] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
Gut check. [gasps]
You're like, "I'm so little, so tiny." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:13
You're like, "I'm so little, so tiny."
It's so much pressure, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
It's so much pressure,
So hold your pores. Hold your butthole. Just go… [shouts] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
So hold your pores. Hold your butthole. Just go… [shouts]
Meanwhile, he falls asleep immediately. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
Meanwhile, he falls asleep immediately.
The second his head hits the pillow, he's like… [snoring] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:10
The second his head hits the pillow, he's like… [snorin...
I like to pivot and put my head on his chest. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
I like to pivot and put my head on his chest.
He's like, "Ever since I met you, the dog's been - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:13
He's like, "Ever since I met you, the dog's b...
Because you feel his heart beating, and you're like, "This is love." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
Because you feel his heart beating, and you're like, &q...
And you're like, "Wouldn't it be so cute if I matched my breath - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:25
And you're like, "Wouldn't it be so cute if I...
You know when you're going too slow and you feel like… [gasps] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
You know when you're going too slow and you feel like… ...
The dog's like, "Die, bitch, please die." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
The dog's like, "Die, bitch, please die."
Girls like it lava hot 'cause we're related to Satan. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
Girls like it lava hot 'cause we're related to Sat...
Then you go to his bathroom. He's not gonna have conditioner, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
Then you go to his bathroom. He's not gonna have condit...