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Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn

I'm like, "This is Stephanie'sthird marriage. I'm exhausted." "We're running out of...

I'm like, "This is Stephanie's
third marriage. I'm exhausted." "We're running out of stories, Steph." And then she makes you
all wear the same bikinis, even though we all have
different body types. That's abuse

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.669
I'm like, "This is Stephanie's third marriage. I'm exhausted."
00:00:04.212 --> 00:00:06.013
"We're running out of stories, Steph."
00:00:08.999 --> 00:00:10.676
And then she makes you all wear the same bikinis,
00:00:10.076 --> 00:00:13.721
even though we all have different body types. That's abuse.
Duration
15 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:29:17
Uploaded
Apr 11, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

From marrying a zaddy to unrealistic sex scenes in movies, Hannah Berner unpacks romance, dating and more in this raunchy stand-up special.
We have to wear shirts that say, like, "bitch, bride, tribe, cunt." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:13
We have to wear shirts that say, like, "bitch, bride, t...
-Nobody talks about it. -[cell phone chiming] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
-Nobody talks about it. -[cell phone chiming]
[laughing] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
[laughing]
Yeah. Did anyone-- did anyone not hook up on their wedding night? - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
Yeah. Did anyone-- did anyone not hook up on their wedding n...
You what? You were-- or you were running from the police. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
You what? You were-- or you were running from the police.
You were like, "Figure it out tomorrow." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
You were like, "Figure it out tomorrow."
-Beer. -[Kevin speaks indistinctly] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:10
-Beer. -[Kevin speaks indistinctly]
[laughing] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
[laughing]
When did you take the dick pill in the night? I just wanna know. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
When did you take the dick pill in the night? I just wanna k...
So you were on the altar just like… - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:20
So you were on the altar just like…
Because we're taking birth control, Lexapro, Xanax. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
Because we're taking birth control, Lexapro, Xanax.
Honestly, I think I had sex on my wedding night 'cause he's sober. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
Honestly, I think I had sex on my wedding night 'cause ...
So he was ready to go, but I realized on my wedding night - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
So he was ready to go, but I realized on my wedding night
-And my friend Paige. You guys know Paige. -[audience cheering] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
-And my friend Paige. You guys know Paige. -[audience cheeri...
And she was like, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
And she was like,
'Cause if you do, you're like, "Why didn't I fucking listen to that blackout bitch?" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
'Cause if you do, you're like, "Why...
I'll miss a week, and I'll just put one up my butthole. I'm like, "I'm on track." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
I'll miss a week, and I'll just put one up my butt...
Why is it always a hot girl's name? It's like, "Kyleena." "Mirela." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
Why is it always a hot girl's name? It's like, &qu...
I feel like a doctor takes a paperclip, and it's like, "Hold on one second." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
I feel like a doctor takes a paperclip, and it's like, ...
When men get vasectomies, they get airlifted to the Bahamas. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
When men get vasectomies, they get airlifted to the Bahamas.