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So he was ready to go, but I realized on my wedding night
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Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn

So he was ready to go,but I realized on my wedding night that I hadn't taken my birth...

So he was ready to go,
but I realized on my wedding night that I hadn't taken my birth control
in two weeks

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.628
So he was ready to go, but I realized on my wedding night
00:00:04.017 --> 00:00:07.882
that I hadn't taken my birth control in two weeks.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:31:30
Uploaded
Apr 11, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

From marrying a zaddy to unrealistic sex scenes in movies, Hannah Berner unpacks romance, dating and more in this raunchy stand-up special.
-And my friend Paige. You guys know Paige. -[audience cheering] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
-And my friend Paige. You guys know Paige. -[audience cheeri...
And she was like, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
And she was like,
'Cause if you do, you're like, "Why didn't I fucking listen to that blackout bitch?" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
'Cause if you do, you're like, "Why...
I'll miss a week, and I'll just put one up my butthole. I'm like, "I'm on track." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
I'll miss a week, and I'll just put one up my butt...
Why is it always a hot girl's name? It's like, "Kyleena." "Mirela." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
Why is it always a hot girl's name? It's like, &qu...
I feel like a doctor takes a paperclip, and it's like, "Hold on one second." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
I feel like a doctor takes a paperclip, and it's like, ...
When men get vasectomies, they get airlifted to the Bahamas. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
When men get vasectomies, they get airlifted to the Bahamas.
A nurse is cupping his balls. She's like, "You're doing amazing." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:18
A nurse is cupping his balls. She's like, "You...
And the next morning, I was like, "I need to wake this guy up." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:11
And the next morning, I was like, "I need to wake this ...
He's like, "What?" [exhales] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:18
He's like, "What?" [exhales]
I go, "You know what? Let's travel to Walgreens, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:17
I go, "You know what? Let's travel to Walgreens,
It's dark. It's haunted. It smells different. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
It's dark. It's haunted. It smells different.
You're always like… [sighs] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:48
You're always like… [sighs]
And then he tries to open it up and you're like, "Be quiet about it." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:26
And then he tries to open it up and you're like, "...
[sighs] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
[sighs]
He is-- he is deteriorating emotionally and physically, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
He is-- he is deteriorating emotionally and physically,
Like, before we got married, he really annoyed me - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
Like, before we got married, he really annoyed me
[audience cheering] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
[audience cheering]
Q-tip in your ear, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:10
Q-tip in your ear,
So, I ordered the burrata. I open it up. It's like… [squelches] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:23
So, I ordered the burrata. I open it up. It's like… [sq...