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When I was two at a restaurant, I was trying to see
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Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn

When I was two at a restaurant,I was trying to see how many butter packetsI could shove in...

When I was two at a restaurant,
I was trying to see how many butter packets
I could shove in my face without puking

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.086
When I was two at a restaurant, I was trying to see
00:00:03.169 --> 00:00:07.048
how many butter packets I could shove in my face without puking.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
31
Timestamp in Movie
00:40:59
Uploaded
Apr 11, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

From marrying a zaddy to unrealistic sex scenes in movies, Hannah Berner unpacks romance, dating and more in this raunchy stand-up special.
My dad's like, "Nine. That's my girl. She's gonna go far." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
My dad's like, "Nine. That's my girl. She...
I'd have to bribe him to do everything. I'd be like, "Jeremy." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:19
I'd have to bribe him to do everything. I'd be lik...
[laughs] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:12
[laughs]
You do? Do you like to be the big or small spoon? - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
You do? Do you like to be the big or small spoon?
Actually, as a girl, it's a lot more complicated - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
Actually, as a girl, it's a lot more complicated
Think about it. First, you have to get into a weird little fetal position, right? - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
Think about it. First, you have to get into a weird little f...
Then you have to move your hair, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
Then you have to move your hair,
You're like, "Hey!" - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
You're like, "Hey!"
Gut check. [gasps] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
Gut check. [gasps]
You're like, "I'm so little, so tiny." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:13
You're like, "I'm so little, so tiny."
It's so much pressure, - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:06
It's so much pressure,
So hold your pores. Hold your butthole. Just go… [shouts] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
So hold your pores. Hold your butthole. Just go… [shouts]
Meanwhile, he falls asleep immediately. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:07
Meanwhile, he falls asleep immediately.
The second his head hits the pillow, he's like… [snoring] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:10
The second his head hits the pillow, he's like… [snorin...
I like to pivot and put my head on his chest. - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:05
I like to pivot and put my head on his chest.
He's like, "Ever since I met you, the dog's been - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:13
He's like, "Ever since I met you, the dog's b...
Because you feel his heart beating, and you're like, "This is love." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
Because you feel his heart beating, and you're like, &q...
And you're like, "Wouldn't it be so cute if I matched my breath - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:25
And you're like, "Wouldn't it be so cute if I...
You know when you're going too slow and you feel like… [gasps] - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:08
You know when you're going too slow and you feel like… ...
The dog's like, "Die, bitch, please die." - Hannah Berner: We Ride at Dawn 00:09
The dog's like, "Die, bitch, please die."