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"Happy, Texas" quotes

Happy, Texas poster
3 prisoners escape. 2 end up in Happy, Texas, where they're mistaken for a gay couple expected there to help with the small girls beauty pageant. As the 2 are paid $1000, they decide to stay until the heat is gone.

Director: Mark Illsley
Writer: Ed Stone, Mark Illsley, Phil Reeves
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, crime, romance
Year: 1999
MetaScore: 62/100
ImdbRating: 6.3
BoxOffice: $1,955,933
Released: 03 Dec 1999
Awards: 6 wins & 6 nominations

24 video clips

Sheriff Chappy DentChappyWayne Wayne Wayne Jr.Harry SawyerJosephine McclintockMarshal Nalhober
And the rain you send 'em - Happy, Texas 00:35 And the rain you send 'em Hey Jesus on a cracker - Happy, Texas 00:05 Hey Jesus on a cracker Now we have three count my fingers three runnin' - Happy, Texas 00:33 Now we have three count my fingers three runnin' And uh give me the meanest steak you got Rare and I mean rare - Happy, Texas 00:09 And uh give me the meanest steak you got Rare and I mean... If you ever leave me with a kid again - Happy, Texas 00:19 If you ever leave me with a kid again You come anywhere near these girls again I won't say nothin' - Happy, Texas 00:11 You come anywhere near these girls again I won't say... Yeah I guess like - Happy, Texas 00:22 Yeah I guess like Hey The light is green - Happy, Texas 00:04 Hey The light is green What you grow another face 'Cause I'm outta here - Happy, Texas 00:07 What you grow another face 'Cause I'm outta here Like an aeroplane 'Cause I got my weight in my hip - Happy, Texas 00:07 Like an aeroplane 'Cause I got my weight in my hip You don't You don't think I know what you're doin' - Happy, Texas 00:58 You don't You don't think I know what you're... Hey Why did the armadillo cross the road - Happy, Texas 00:05 Hey Why did the armadillo cross the road Hey Maybe we're tailors - Happy, Texas 00:11 Hey Maybe we're tailors So we're gay - Happy, Texas 00:16 So we're gay You really scared me Last man in that safe - Happy, Texas 00:09 You really scared me Last man in that safe That bad huh I guess I should be flattered by your stalking - Happy, Texas 00:10 That bad huh I guess I should be flattered by your stalking Well that's what life's for isn't it - Happy, Texas 00:07 Well that's what life's for isn't it Don't make me come after you They'll shoot me - Happy, Texas 00:09 Don't make me come after you They'll shoot me Well I'll be dipped - Happy, Texas 00:05 Well I'll be dipped Great oogly moogly What is goin' on now - Happy, Texas 00:08 Great oogly moogly What is goin' on now That is one big dicked cop - Happy, Texas 00:06 That is one big dicked cop Sheriff Dent - Happy, Texas 00:18 Sheriff Dent Somebody stole our crappy camper - Happy, Texas 00:05 Somebody stole our crappy camper What are you doing Trying to save you - Happy, Texas 00:06 What are you doing Trying to save you

Cast

Harry - Jeremy Northam
Wayne - Steve Zahn
Chappy - William H. Macy
Joe - Ally Walker
Ms. Schaefer - Illeana Douglas
All Cast