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All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway
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Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King

All we had was that stolen momentin my driveway

All we had was that stolen moment
in my driveway

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.295
All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:37:57
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Topics include racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant p...
You guys are like, "I was getting handjobs when I was nine." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
You guys are like, "I was getting handjobs when I was n...
I was like, "Are we getting married? I have to change my pants. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
I was like, "Are we getting married? I have to change m...
When is the shaadi?" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:15
When is the shaadi?"
"Alright, you guys are all killing it academically - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:29
"Alright, you guys are all killing it academically
Me, Jehovah's Witness girl, Korean exchange students, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
Me, Jehovah's Witness girl, Korean exchange students,
Thirty for 30? All of us?" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
Thirty for 30? All of us?"
He's like, "Hanson, this is not funny." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
He's like, "Hanson, this is not funny."
It's a bracket with everybody's name on it leading up to the big dance. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
It's a bracket with everybody's name on it leading...
I'm like, "Whatever, it's not going to happen. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
I'm like, "Whatever, it's not going to happen...
He can't do this." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
He can't do this."
They're going to fuck!" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:13
They're going to fuck!"
Bell rings. I'm walking to my locker. I hear footsteps. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
Bell rings. I'm walking to my locker. I hear footsteps.
She's like, "Wait up." I was like, "What's up?" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:18
She's like, "Wait up." I was like, "What...
I was like, "Yes, my white princess." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
I was like, "Yes, my white princess."
"No, wait. You've got cards to play. You're good. You're a good kid. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
"No, wait. You've got cards to play. You're g...
Also, remember, parents respect honesty. You've seen this on TV. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
Also, remember, parents respect honesty. You've seen th...
If you go home and are honest, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:11
If you go home and are honest,
Therefore I will grant your wish.'" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:17
Therefore I will grant your wish.'"
I'll bike to your place, we dance it up, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:10
I'll bike to your place, we dance it up,
"Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
"Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl."