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Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains
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Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King

Fast enough to get there, but slow enoughto not get pit stains

Fast enough to get there, but slow enough
to not get pit stains

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.586
Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
15
Timestamp in Movie
00:42:03
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Topics include racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant p...
You're good. You're getting there." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
You're good. You're getting there."
I'm walking up to the doorstep, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
I'm walking up to the doorstep,
30 second time-out. Do you understand what's about to go down? - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
30 second time-out. Do you understand what's about to g...
You're about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
You're about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking R...
This is what Dad fought for." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
This is what Dad fought for."
And I look over her shoulder, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
And I look over her shoulder,
And she's like, "Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
And she's like, "Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany no...
We have a lot of family back home in Nebraska - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:11
We have a lot of family back home in Nebraska
Mr Reed can give you a ride home." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:12
Mr Reed can give you a ride home."
That's the nicest I've ever been dressed, playing Mario Kart. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
That's the nicest I've ever been dressed, playing ...
I wish I had said, "Fuck that, I'm going to the dance." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
I wish I had said, "Fuck that, I'm going to the da...
You've seen movies. How many times do you see that on screen? - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
You've seen movies. How many times do you see that on s...
And it's not like they were yokels yelling "sand nigger!" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
And it's not like they were yokels yelling "sand n...
I didn't know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
I didn't know that people could be bigoted even as they...
It's hard when you see people saying they love you - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
It's hard when you see people saying they love you
Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me.
She's like, "Everybody has been asking why we didn't go. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
She's like, "Everybody has been asking why we didn...
It's a generational thing. Please don't say anything." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
It's a generational thing. Please don't say anythi...
Everybody's wondering." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
Everybody's wondering."
I mean, dances are overrated. They're a cliché. I decided not to go." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:13
I mean, dances are overrated. They're a cliché. I decid...