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Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King

I'm like, "Whatever,it's not going to happen

I'm like, "Whatever,
it's not going to happen

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.128
I'm like, "Whatever, it's not going to happen.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:19
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Topics include racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant p...
He can't do this." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
He can't do this."
They're going to fuck!" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:13
They're going to fuck!"
Bell rings. I'm walking to my locker. I hear footsteps. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
Bell rings. I'm walking to my locker. I hear footsteps.
She's like, "Wait up." I was like, "What's up?" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:18
She's like, "Wait up." I was like, "What...
I was like, "Yes, my white princess." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
I was like, "Yes, my white princess."
"No, wait. You've got cards to play. You're good. You're a good kid. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
"No, wait. You've got cards to play. You're g...
Also, remember, parents respect honesty. You've seen this on TV. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
Also, remember, parents respect honesty. You've seen th...
If you go home and are honest, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:11
If you go home and are honest,
Therefore I will grant your wish.'" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:17
Therefore I will grant your wish.'"
I'll bike to your place, we dance it up, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:10
I'll bike to your place, we dance it up,
"Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
"Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl."
You don't want to overkill it with the MJ cologne. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
You don't want to overkill it with the MJ cologne.
I'm scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
I'm scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees...
I jump off, I somehow land, I get on my bike. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
I jump off, I somehow land, I get on my bike.
It's beautiful, the sun is setting, it's one of those gorgeous evenings. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
It's beautiful, the sun is setting, it's one of th...
Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit sta...
You're good. You're getting there." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
You're good. You're getting there."
I'm walking up to the doorstep, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
I'm walking up to the doorstep,
30 second time-out. Do you understand what's about to go down? - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
30 second time-out. Do you understand what's about to g...
You're about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
You're about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking R...