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Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King

"That's my bike. Thank you." Younger siblings, you guys are worthless.You bring nothing to...

"That's my bike. Thank you." Younger siblings, you guys are worthless.
You bring nothing to the table

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.584
"That's my bike. Thank you."
00:00:02.668 --> 00:00:06.964
Younger siblings, you guys are worthless. You bring nothing to the table.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
22
Timestamp in Movie
00:16:32
Uploaded
Oct 30, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Topics include racism, bullying and meeting the demanding expectations of his immigrant p...
I see you getting mad. "Hell, no. I have a personality." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
I see you getting mad. "Hell, no. I have a personality....
"Whoa! I have opinions." No, you don't. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
"Whoa! I have opinions." No, you don't.
And then you have the audacity to be, like, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:11
And then you have the audacity to be, like,
And you're like, "Everybody loves me." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
And you're like, "Everybody loves me."
Elder siblings, we walk through the world like, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:27
Elder siblings, we walk through the world like,
All the paint is chipped off the right side of the bike. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
All the paint is chipped off the right side of the bike.
I pick it up, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
I pick it up,
She's crying, "Hasan bhai, why would you do this?" - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
She's crying, "Hasan bhai, why would you do this?&...
"Why? I gave you the first ride." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
"Why? I gave you the first ride."
I'm being a dick." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:10
I'm being a dick."
I'm supposed to be her big brother, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:07
I'm supposed to be her big brother,
And I'm out here stealing her bike? This is fucked up. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
And I'm out here stealing her bike? This is fucked up.
She's always like, "Oh, my God, you are so melodramatic. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
She's always like, "Oh, my God, you are so melodra...
You make me sound like a refugee baby." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
You make me sound like a refugee baby."
She went to an Ivy League law school. She does mergers and acquisitions now. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
She went to an Ivy League law school. She does mergers and a...
And then, when it came time for me to get married, - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:09
And then, when it came time for me to get married,
Fuck. I heard you go, like, "Ugh!" I didn't punch you. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:05
Fuck. I heard you go, like, "Ugh!" I didn't p...
Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of In...
You're like, "What's the difference? You look the same." - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:08
You're like, "What's the difference? You look...
Hindus don't eat beef. "No beef!" Right? - Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 00:06
Hindus don't eat beef. "No beef!" Right?