Join the conversation
Log in or create an account to leave a comment
Log In
I go, "Beena, what do we do?" She grabs me, she goes,
"Hasan, light this motherfucker up." So I go, "Connor, no,
she's not stealing." "She's actually doing
a 'strategic acquisition' of those books." "We're looking for a profit.
Now, I'm on one." The next day I run into the office,
I go, "Producers, everyone in my office!" "Tell me everything there is to know
about Alden Global Capital." "This episode is for my family." Producers go, "Alden Global Capital
is involved in leveraged…" "Buyouts?"
They're like, "How did you know?" I'm like, "I learned it
at the Scholastic Book Fair." They're like, "Yeah, great, um…" So it turns out,
Connor and his boss, Randall Smith, they're gutting local news
all across the country
"Hasan, light this motherfucker up." So I go, "Connor, no,
she's not stealing." "She's actually doing
a 'strategic acquisition' of those books." "We're looking for a profit.
Now, I'm on one." The next day I run into the office,
I go, "Producers, everyone in my office!" "Tell me everything there is to know
about Alden Global Capital." "This episode is for my family." Producers go, "Alden Global Capital
is involved in leveraged…" "Buyouts?"
They're like, "How did you know?" I'm like, "I learned it
at the Scholastic Book Fair." They're like, "Yeah, great, um…" So it turns out,
Connor and his boss, Randall Smith, they're gutting local news
all across the country
Full Transcript
00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.166
I go, "Beena, what do we do?"
00:00:02.025 --> 00:00:05.067
She grabs me, she goes,
"Hasan, light this motherfucker up."
00:00:05.753 --> 00:00:08.798
So I go, "Connor, no,
she's not stealing."
00:00:08.881 --> 00:00:14.001
"She's actually doing
a 'strategic acquisition' of those books."
00:00:14.136 --> 00:00:15.971
"We're looking for a profit.
Now, I'm on one."
00:00:16.055 --> 00:00:20.081
The next day I run into the office,
I go, "Producers, everyone in my office!"
00:00:20.893 --> 00:00:25.856
"Tell me everything there is to know
about Alden Global Capital."
00:00:27.358 --> 00:00:30.007
"This episode is for my family."
00:00:31.001 --> 00:00:34.007
Producers go, "Alden Global Capital
is involved in leveraged…"
00:00:34.781 --> 00:00:36.743
"Buyouts?"
They're like, "How did you know?"
00:00:36.826 --> 00:00:39.203
I'm like, "I learned it
at the Scholastic Book Fair."
00:00:39.786 --> 00:00:41.665
They're like, "Yeah, great, um…"
00:00:41.748 --> 00:00:44.626
So it turns out,
Connor and his boss, Randall Smith,
00:00:44.071 --> 00:00:46.067
they're gutting local news
all across the country.
Want This Clip in HD?
Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →
Movie Summary
Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events.