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"Horrible Bosses" quotes

Horrible Bosses poster
Three friends conspire to murder their awful bosses when they realize they are standing in the way of their happiness.

Director: Seth Gordon
Writer: Michael Markowitz, John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, crime
Year: 2011
MetaScore: 57/100
ImdbRating: 6.9
BoxOffice: $117,538,559
Released: 08 Jul 2011
Awards: 3 wins & 14 nominations
NICK: Don't inhale.
- Grab the box. I'll scoop it in. - Horrible Bosses 00:11 NICK: Don't inhale. - Grab the box. I'll scoop it ... KURT:
Okay. - Horrible Bosses 00:18 KURT: Okay. [JULIA MAKES SQUEAKING SOUND] - Horrible Bosses 00:06 [JULIA MAKES SQUEAKING SOUND] Jesus. Where does this guy
get the energy? - Horrible Bosses 00:11 Jesus. Where does this guy get the energy? Jesus, Dale. It's a murder,
not a cocktail party. - Horrible Bosses 00:19 Jesus, Dale. It's a murder, not a cocktail party. I gotta get out of here before somebody
sees me. Meet me at the bar. I'll call Kurt. - Horrible Bosses 00:17 I gotta get out of here before somebody sees me. Meet me at ... I feel the intel... - Horrible Bosses 00:28 I feel the intel... [CAT SCREECHES] - Horrible Bosses 00:08 [CAT SCREECHES] [CARL DOUGLAS' "KUNG FU FIGHTING"
PLAYING ON CELL PHONE] - Horrible Bosses 00:17 [CARL DOUGLAS' "KUNG FU FIGHTING" PLAYING ON ... Nice job fucking the crazy out of her Kurt - Horrible Bosses 00:08 Nice job fucking the crazy out of her Kurt This place is awful It's like The Sharper Image took a shit in here - Horrible Bosses 00:10 This place is awful It's like The Sharper Image took a... I broke a rock - Horrible Bosses 00:04 I broke a rock Unfortunately no one's gonna pay you to be a husband unless you marry Oprah - Horrible Bosses 00:08 Unfortunately no one's gonna pay you to be a husband... NICK I get to work before the sun comes up and I leave long after it's gone down - Horrible Bosses 00:43 NICK I get to work before the sun comes up and I leave long... Next thing she starts deliberately undressing - Horrible Bosses 00:10 Next thing she starts deliberately undressing Life is a marathon and you cannot win a marathon - Horrible Bosses 00:08 Life is a marathon and you cannot win a marathon Hey take this I don't want it I want my hands free - Horrible Bosses 00:07 Hey take this I don't want it I want my hands free Please protect me from them I have a wife and a cat - Horrible Bosses 00:05 Please protect me from them I have a wife and a cat Let's follow a strange guy into a dark corner - Horrible Bosses 00:04 Let's follow a strange guy into a dark corner I really don't wanna touch it I don't have sleeve gloves - Horrible Bosses 00:05 I really don't wanna touch it I don't have sleeve... Hey are you gonna slap me in the face with your cock Dale - Horrible Bosses 00:05 Hey are you gonna slap me in the face with your cock Dale You're gonna give me that dong Dale - Horrible Bosses 00:08 You're gonna give me that dong Dale What is that Do you remember your first week here - Horrible Bosses 00:05 What is that Do you remember your first week here Strangely enough lucky for Kurt - Horrible Bosses 00:08 Strangely enough lucky for Kurt I'm a green belt motherfucker What - Horrible Bosses 00:04 I'm a green belt motherfucker What Rape What - Horrible Bosses 00:15 Rape What Your ad said you do wet work - Horrible Bosses 00:22 Your ad said you do wet work Fine So you took the penis foods as an invitation to fuck her - Horrible Bosses 00:05 Fine So you took the penis foods as an invitation to fuck... Technically I think it's immoral not to kill him - Horrible Bosses 00:04 Technically I think it's immoral not to kill him Are you telling me that I've driven all this way and nobody wants to get pissed on - Horrible Bosses 00:06 Are you telling me that I've driven all this way and... Let me tell you something you stupid little runt - Horrible Bosses 00:15 Let me tell you something you stupid little runt You don't punch the driver You don't punch the fucking driver - Horrible Bosses 00:09 You don't punch the driver You don't punch the... You know what I don't hear you giving dickskin any shit - Horrible Bosses 00:14 You know what I don't hear you giving dickskin any shit I'm a sucker Harken wasn't gonna promote me - Horrible Bosses 00:14 I'm a sucker Harken wasn't gonna promote me What about Harken Probably always got that injector thing - Horrible Bosses 00:34 What about Harken Probably always got that injector thing Where were you during the murder - Horrible Bosses 00:11 Where were you during the murder All right you know what You don't put a playground right next to a bar - Horrible Bosses 00:08 All right you know what You don't put a playground... I got you First thing first we gotta handle business - Horrible Bosses 00:20 I got you First thing first we gotta handle business Your dad told me very clearly he would rather die - Horrible Bosses 00:10 Your dad told me very clearly he would rather die Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass - Horrible Bosses 00:29 Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states - Horrible Bosses 00:05 I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50... Three hours late What's the deal - Horrible Bosses 00:11 Three hours late What's the deal Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her the 50 states - Horrible Bosses 00:20 Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her... Nick come on - Horrible Bosses 00:20 Nick come on Will you have a seat Dale Do I have to - Horrible Bosses 00:35 Will you have a seat Dale Do I have to Shut the fuck up for a second - Horrible Bosses 00:37 Shut the fuck up for a second Okay Lou - Horrible Bosses 00:12 Okay Lou Do you wanna explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone - Horrible Bosses 00:26 Do you wanna explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states - Horrible Bosses 00:19 I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50...

Cast

Nick Hendricks - Jason Bateman
Thomas, Head of Security - Steve Wiebe
Dave Harken - Kevin Spacey
Dale Arbus - Charlie Day