Good morning, Mr Blake. My name's Amanda. I've got a couple of questions here for you...

Amanda the Health Care Professional: Good morning, Mr Blake. My name's Amanda. I've got a couple of questions here for you today to establish your eligibility for Employment Support Allowance. It won't take up much of your time. Could I just ask firstly, can you walk more than 50 metres unassisted by any other person? Daniel: Yes. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Okay... Can you raise either arm as if to put something in your top pocket? Daniel: I've filled this in already on your 52-page form. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Yeah, I can see that you have but, unfortunately, I couldn't make out what you had said there. Daniel: Yes. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Can you raise either arm to the top of your head as if you are putting on a hat? Daniel: I've telt you, there's nowt wrong with me arms and legs. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Could you just answer the question, please. Daniel: Well, you've got me medical records... Can we just talk about me heart? Amanda the Health Care Professional: D'you think you could just answer these questions? Daniel: Okay. Amanda the Health Care Professional: So was that a yes, that you can put a hat on your head? Daniel: Yes. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Okay, that's great... Can you press a button such as a telephone keypad? Daniel: There's nowt wrong with me fingers either... I mean, we're getting farther and farther away from me heart. Amanda the Health Care Professional: If we could just keep to these questions, thank you... Do you have any significant difficulty conveying a simple message to strangers? Daniel: Yes. Yes, it's me fucking heart. I'm trying to tell you but you'll not listen. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Mr Blake, if you continue to speak to us like that that's not gonna be very helpful for your assessment... If you could just answer the question, please. Daniel: Yes. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Okay... Do you ever experience any loss of control leading to extensive evacuation of the bowel? Daniel: No. But I cannot guarantee there won't be a first if we didn't get to the point. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Can you complete a simple task of setting an alarm clock? Daniel: Oh, Jesus. Yes... Can I ask you a question? Are you medically qualified? Amanda the Health Care Professional: I'm a health care professional appointed by the Department of Work and Pensions to carry out assessments for Employment and Support Allowance. Daniel: But there was a bloke out in the, er, in the waiting room, he says that you work for an American company. Amanda the Health Care Professional: Our company's been appointed by the Government. Daniel: Are you a nurse? Are you a doctor? Amanda the Health Care Professional: I'm a health care professional. Daniel: Listen, I've had a major heart attack. I nearly fell off the scaffolding. I wanna get back to work, too... Now, please, can we talk about me heart? Forget about me arse, that works a dream.

Good morning, Mr Blake. My name's Amanda. I've got a couple of questions here for you today to establish your eligibility for Employment Support Allowance. It won't take up much of your time. Could I just ask firstly, can you walk more than 50 metres unassisted by any other person? - Yes. - Okay. Can you raise either arm as if to put something in your top pocket? I've filled this in already on your 52-page form. Yeah, I can see that you have but, unfortunately, I couldn't make out what you had said there. Yes. Can you raise either arm to the top of your head as if you are putting on a hat? I've telt you, there's nowt wrong with me arms and legs. Could you just answer the question, please. Well, you've got me medical records. Can we just talk about me heart? D'you think you could just answer these questions? Okay. So was that a yes, that you can put a hat on your head? - Yes. - Okay, that's great. Can you press a button such as a telephone keypad? There's nowt wrong with me fingers either. I mean, we're getting farther and farther away from me heart. If we could just keep to these questions, thank you. Do you have any significant difficulty conveying a simple message to strangers? Yes. Yes, it's me fucking heart. I'm trying to tell you but you'll not listen. Mr Blake, if you continue to speak to us like that that's not gonna be very helpful for your assessment. If you could just answer the question, please. - Yes. - Okay. Do you ever experience any loss of control leading to extensive evacuation of the bowel? No. But I cannot guarantee there won't be a first if we divvent get to the point. Can you complete a simple task of setting an alarm clock? Oh, Jesus. Yes. Can I ask you a question? Are you medically qualified? I'm a health care professional appointed by the Department of Work and Pensions to carry out assessments for Employment and Support Allowance. But there was a bloke out in the, er, in the waiting room, he says that you work for an American company. Our company's been appointed by the Government. Are you a nurse? Are you a doctor? I'm a health care professional. Listen, I've had a major heart attack. I nearly fell off the scaffolding. I wanna get back to work, too. Now, please, can we talk about me heart? Forget about me arse, that works a dream. Piper, you lazy bastard. Will you get out of bed and do some housework! China! China! Sorry, Dan, just got a text to go to work. I'm late. Did you enjoy your chicken tikka masala? - How did you know that? - Cos I can bloody smell it. How many times have I told you about leaving rubbish lying about the place, stinking it up? - Can I dump it later? I'm running late. - No. Now! Dan... Erm, I've got a big favour to ask I'm expecting a package. Really important. They've changed my hours, so I won't be in. Can you keep an eye out for the postman? If you swear nae more rubbish. - Catch! - Don't you fucking dare. - I'll kick your arse into next week. - Okay. Daft as a bloody brush. When can I go back to work? Ah, not yet, that's for certain. You're making progress. I think if we just continue you on the same dosage. And, yeah, rehab exercise. We'll see if we can the pumping capacity to increase. - Yeah. - And it might. But if not, we might need to look at fitting you with a defibrillator. Keep up with the exercise, keep moving. That's gonna build you up. But you need to be rested as well. Well, I'm a bit of a night owl, you know. I got into the habit when I was looking after the missus before she passed away. How you doing, son? How you doing? - All right. - How's the old ticker? Ah, you know, me marathon days are over. But, you know, I'll be fine in a month or two. Ah, well, be leaving that Viagra alone. I'll keep it for you, shall I? Aye, I probably need it more than you. Right, well, owt you want here? - Have a look - Oh, that's nice, aye. Meranti, aye, African Meranti. It's great, man. So, er, d'you reckon you'll get back to Ferguson's? Depends on the work, I suppose. I mean, you know what it's like. It's up and down. Aye, well. Gotta see this. There you go. Oh, that's a lovely piece. Aye, I'll have the... I'll have the lads drop it by for you. Erm, are you all right? I'm on the mend. I mean, I can get your shopping sorted out for you, you know. Like, the heavy stuff and that, like, it's nae bother. Thanks, Joe. You know, I like to get out and about. Gives us something to do. Well, give us a shout if you need anything. I mean, I mean that. You, you gave us a big fright, you know. BBC Radio Four, it's twelve minutes to 1:00. Now the shipping forecast, issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency at double-O-1-5 on Tuesday the 20th of October. There are warnings of gales in Trafalgar, Fitzroy...